Thursday, July 31, 2008

Mary Worth 270

My jaw literally dropped when I saw today's strip. Stay tuned for tomorrow's exciting installment when Mary Worth and Toby Cameron, satiated on Salad, Stew, and Dessert, actually stand up. Such action packed episodes should be avoided by people who are pregnant, or who have back, neck or heart problems. Talk with your doctor before reading Mary Worth. Possible side effects include increased blood pressure, drowsiness, impotency, short-term memory loss, hair loss, and spontaneous greasy discharge. You should not operate electrical machinery while reading Mary Worth. You may set out a bowl of hard ribbon candy on your coffee table after reading Mary Worth. Tell your doctor if you experience increased gambling, sexual or other intense urges such as a compulsion to help others.

Today's Full Strip

16 comments:

shandyowl said...

Initially I was astonished that a toothless senior like Mary did not order soup then I realised that a crusty bread roll would be beyond the engineering tolerance of her dentures. A soft mushy stew is far more manageable.

What is all this talk of paperwork? I know this is an oversimplification, but how much urgent paperwork can you have when you have never even been a member of the workforce? This sounds like a hasty and understandable excuse to avoid helping choose a present for pompous gasbag Prof Cameron.

I would like to posit the theory that his chinbeard is entirely incidental to his assholery. Last night I watched a documentary about squid that featured a chinbearded professor who managed not to deliver constant put-downs or pass malicious comments so the personal grooming choices and the detestable personality do not go hand in hand.

shandyowl said...

Also, Toby is using a credit card to pay for a $20 dollar lunch? Does nobody carry cash any more? I'll bet she has no trouble producing a wad of folding green when she is meeting her coke dealer or tucking bills into a stripper's g-string.

Everett Volk said...

It's a damn shame that Giella covered up the last few digits of Toby's credit card. Otherwise, I'd be watching free internet porn right now!

spike said...

Did Toby and Mary share a lunch "family style"? Seems the receipt is a meal for one person--unless they demanded seperate checks.

"Must get home to handle some paperwork"--Wow! Looks like Mary learned something from her near-fling with Ron Amalfi.

shandyowl: Nobody in America uses cash anymore. Credit card companies and their advertising agencies have triumphed!

Anonymous said...

Re the closeup of the credit card. Maybe it will get declined.

maconmemad said...

Great disclaimer Wanders.
Ha! Here comes the new story… Toby says she and Ian think about each other all the time…YET as Wanders has pointed out we’ve not seen him nor heard mention of him for a very long time, but they think of each other all the time…hmmm.
Maybe chin beard has been away, perhaps far away and running the balance up on the credit card Toby is so anxious to catch the bill with. Could it be? Will it be declined because Ian off on a drunkin spree in someplace like Thailand has maxed out the card? Or just something boring like a brush with identity theft? OMG I can not look away!

shandyowl said...

anonymous You could be onto something there: in yet another thrilling new plot twist the card is declined and Toby finds out that the account is over its limit because Ian has been spending a small fortune on rent boys and motel bills.

shandyowl said...

maconmemad You must have posted while I was still typing; great minds clearly think alike.

maconmemad said...

Yes shandyowl, and now I must get to some important paperwork!

spike said...

maconmemad: Yeah, I'd go with the identity theft angle as well. We've already been treated to the "stolen checks" storyline about 10 or 15 years ago.

The paperwork is calling...must go.

Anonymous said...

I'm betting on the identity theft angle as well. The real question is how many months it will take for Moy to spin out the story. What isn't in question is that the storyline will end with sage and lengthy advise from Mary on how to avoid credit card fraud.

Eats Shoots And Leaves said...

Today's installment made me think of the old poster of the little kid sitting on the toidy with the caption "No job's complete until the paperwork's done."

Wouldn't it be great if Mary had that poster framed and hanging in her bathroom?

Mary's Boy said...

I don't think Mary has ever referenced any pressing need to actually accomplish something as tangible as "paperwork" before. I think in reality she can't take one more minute of Toby's mindless banter and is beginning to get the shakes at the thought of getting home and climbing into bed with a bottle of bourbon for the next 24 hours. Either that or the stew was a bit off and she's gotta get to the head before her Depends give way.

shandyowl said...

You think you got paperwork, maconmemad? You wouldn't believe the amount of paperwork I've got to handle.

And handle it I will!

Tweeks_Coffee said...

I'm just trying to figure out the math of that check. The STEW appears to have been $7 (!?) and DESSERT was 3 something. Plus there's the tip written in there. So why does the total appear to be 6 dollars and change? Does Toby not get the concept of tipping and she's actually keeping that money for herself?

Anonymous said...

The 'paperwork' is making sure she's still the primary beneficiary of Dr. Jeff's life insurance.

Operation: Envy was a smashing success! Our conniving Miss Mary knew that Ron wouldn't be able to romantically commit to her ... not so soon after an emotional trauma like his mother's death. So the Meddling Menace just played off of him to work her long-con mark, Jeff, into a jealous frenzy. This ensures her place on that sweet, sweet life insurance policy.

Practice holding your breath, Jeff. I think the next step involves you, cement shoes, and a permanent place twelve feet under water off the docks by the Bum Boat.

Mary will visit often, simply smirking...