Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Mary Worth 276

Toby sure knows a lot about computers and junk. Having completed her order at enormoushop.com for a used copy of Scotland narrated by Sean Finnery, she's off to demonstrate another way computers can be useful: Email. Email is short for electronic mail. From what I understand, email is like sending a letter using a computer. If someone else has a computer, you can use a special software program to send the letter directly to that person's computer. The panel above is confusing because she uses the phrase "SPAM and junk." We all know that SPAM is a processed meat product that comes in a can and is delicious. But in technical computer lingo, it can also mean email that the recipient does not wish to receive, sent by a stranger. Toby's redundant use of the phrase "Spam and junk" is merely to help us understand what she means by the word "Spam," which is generally sent for the purposes of selling illegal prescription drugs, promoting non-existent stocks, or recommending ways to increase your junk. But who needs more junk? Not me.

And here we all thought this was going to be a story about credit card debt or identity theft. Turns out, it is even more exciting: Computers Can Be Helpful and Junk.

Today's Full Strip

10 comments:

shandyowl said...

I find it distasteful that somebody is sending emails of their junk to Toby.

However, I am positively drooling at the prospect of Ian Cameron falling for a "please deposit and admin fee of $300,000 in order that I can be claim my $999,999,999,999 inheritance after which I shall give you 10% in gratitude for your most helpfulness" scam.

Or is the email another red herring? Is the true protagonist the Scotland dvd after all? Will it feature a Cameron relative leading Toby on a genealogical quest that ends in the shocking revelation that Ian was already married when the met and all this time they have been guitly of bigamy (and infamy)?

So long as something horrible or humiliating happens to hot air balloon Ian I shall be satisfied.

Anonymous said...

Haha, no one wants to email Toby. Given that Mary probably doesn't know how to use a computer, I suspect that the only non-junk mail she gets is from Chinbeard detailing how much she disappoints him.

Also, it looks like Toby is pressing the print screen button on her tiny keyboard. Perhaps she thinks it'll print a copy of the page for her?

Mollie said...

Oh, but you know Toby will have at least one forwarded message from Mary -- an anecdote in which a child says something something cute about God; a string of unattributed quotations; a jpeg of a kitten sleeping somewhere humorous (like atop a large dog). And that will make it all worthwhile. Or should I say Worth-while.

spike said...

wanders: I was going to chastise you for violating your own rule about this "family-friendly" blog, but shandyowl beat me to it.

shandyowl (from yesterthread): A pox upon me for neglecting the safety of the denizens of Charterstone! You correctly pointed out the possible awkward situation of young hoodie-wearing rowdies gatecrashing a pool party, and I am aghast and chagrined at my own lack of foresight. OK, The ZAF! merchandise will be stored under the counter from now on, but I reserve the right to show items to customers who (1) request it in a hushed whisper, (2) know the proper response to the passphrase, "The crow flies at midnight." and (3)can move the conversation on to Mandarin. Are those acceptable safety precautions?

shandyowl (from today's thread): Toby is giddy at the prospect of helping someone from the Nigerian Royal Family move truckloads (or is it lorryloads?) of cash to a US-, Mexican- or Cayman Islands-based bank. The administration fee--Fah-gedabaudit!

I rather like that Toby is suddenly turning this boring segment into "Attack of the 50-foot Woman", all because she's angry she has to pay more money for a shabby second-hand item.

shandyowl said...

mollie bravissimo!

spike I suppose it would be okay to sell ZAF! merchandise if sales were restricted to over-18s only or had a "Parental Discretion Advised" sticker prominently displayed.

Much as the miniature keyboard troubles me, a friend recently received a Mac as a wedding gift and was astonished to find that the keyboard has no numeric keypad. Is this what they call progress? Well, is it?

spike said...

shandyowl: Done! I'll have the "We ID!" and "You May Purchase ZAF! Merchandise If You Were Born On or Before DD/MM/YY." placards printed up and prominently displayed.

As much as I'd like to see Mary get all those hoodie-wearing rowdies to sit down together and break bread (or shrimp scampi in your scenario), let's do recall that Mary's culinary forte is casserole. And let's pass over the fact that she still has that fifty-pound bag of dog food laying around from the good old Chester days--I know, I know, she's had Jeff over a few times and offered some "leftovers" to Toby on occasion, but there's still a lot left in the bag...and we all know how frugal Mary can be.

shandyowl said...

spike that would certainly explain why Mary's cooking always looks like unidentifiable mush.

djangosmom1 said...

Does anyone else have any thoughts about Giella's drawing ability in regards to his use of perspective? My husband and I wonder if he is bad at it or just lazy. The shrinking monitor is one example, Aldo's car in the billboard at the top of the blog is another. I have noticed many examples along the way. We are wondering if Toby has a flat screen monitor or an ant farm like Vera's. I think that Toby's screen is doubling for a picture frame.
My husband, David's idea about the new storyline is that Toby is a "Stepford Wife" because she is so devoted to her husband and so perfect that she doesn't need a computer because she is one.

pandagrandma said...

Ok, ok -- I concede. I now agree that the storyline is about identity theft, as much as I wanted to believe it was going to be about Toby's credit card spending addiction. I really wanted to see Ian get steaming mad and throw the bloody Scotland DVD at Toby and give her a black eye...

(Sigh) Anyway... who/what will be the source of the identity theft?? It's all set up now: The waiter in the restaurant? The sleazy gas station attendant? The unsecure Enormoushop.com site when Toby placed her order? Or does our favorite dumb blonde fall for a phishing email she’s received and submit all her personal info? Surely a l-o-n-g investigation (and even l--o--n--g--e--r lectures from Mary) will now ensue after Toby gets her identity stolen.

Perhaps Toby should have purchased a copy of Scams & Swindles: Phishing, Spoofing, ID Theft, Nigerian Advance Schemes Investment Frauds: How to Recognize And Avoid Rip-Offs In The Internet Age while she was surfing on Enormoushop.com for Ian’s perfect gift.

Keep your strength up, folks. We're gonna need it!

wanders said...

Spike: I wasn't being family friendly? Where? How?