Monday, October 20, 2008

Mary Worth 347

No, Jeff, she's not a dog. Frank is her "Coach." But why don't you nip this one in the bud and just take Mary to a Weepies concert, or have you forgotten already what this is really all about? Here's a simple reminder:

Today's full strip.

Edited to add: If you haven't read these song lyrics posted yesterday by an anonymous reader yet, click here.


Anonymous said...

If nobody else has called the story line yet, I'm going for "Father trying to relive his own youth vicariously through his daughter, daughter resents the pressure and wants to be her own person, Mary saves the day via meddling."

Should be over in 37 months, tops.

Anonymous said...

Poor Jeff. I'm sure he learned his lesson and will be much more understanding this time more expressions of justified jealousy on his part. I wonder if he will even bother to question Mary's motivation for traveling across the country to visit dear old Frank; however, there will be no chance of a romantic entanglement between the two as Mary will sooon be revolted as Mary by Frank's mania over his daughter's lack of commitment to the game of figure skating.

shandyowl said...

This is shaping up nicely as a good old-fashioned stage farce.

Mary goes to Lake Tranquil to destroy Frank Griffin's relationship with his daughter only to find that Councilman Ron Amalfi is there to promote Santa Royale at the annual Arts & Crafts Expo.

Meanwhile Jeff decides to travel up to surprise Mary with a marriage proposal only to arrive just as Mary is helping Ron get something out of his eye.

Much hilarity ensues.

If only.

BaHa said...

n the name of Julia Child, what meal is that? Bowls of glop, a roast of some kind, and coffee, which can only mean breakfast. And they're eating with spoons.

djangosmom said...

'And so it begins....'

Mary, Quite Contrary said...

I believe their meal consists of a pork roast, mashed potatoes and some kind of vegetable (broccoli perhaps?). Since they are on the senior-side, it's all soft foods, all the time. They're obviously finishing up on butterscotch pudding.

pandagrandma said...

baha and mary, quite:
Yeah, I also wondered why they are eating their their pork roast, or prime rib -- whatever it is -- with a spoon! I was looking for the table-top food processor. I was guessing Mary and Jeff must be having trouble with their dentures again and have to gum their food.

Mollie said...

I defy anyone to come up with a sentence - a functional sentence - less likely to be uttered by an actual human being than "Isn't he the trainer of that skater touted on television?"

Anonymous said...


How about these worthy contenders?

1) Lynn has to bring her competitive game up. 10/14

2) If only she would apply it [her talent] the way it was intended. 10/17

boojum said...

mollie: I accept your challenge!

"When push comes to shove, isn't it all, really, a substitute for extra-corporeal shockwave lithotripsy?"

Dang it! I'll keep trying.....

Anonymous said...

Sometimes Moy's writing sounds as if it is a bad english translation from some other language. She often sounds like a phishing email that originated in Japan. Do you think that it might be possible that English isn't her first language?(or second or third for that matter).

Toots McGee said...

"Isn't he the trainer of that skater touted on television?"

Not only is this sentence horribly clunky, it doesn't even fit the narrative (granted we're talking about a narrative with characters who talk like this, so maybe I just haven't mastered the logic of Mary's World).

Jeff and Mary just saw Frank being interviewed on TV and Mary made a big deal about how she knew him. It made enough of an impression on Jeff that he almost stuck his finger through the tv screen and said "You know him, Mary?"

So Mary's jetting off to hang out with this "old friend" and Jeff responds by saying something along the lines of "Oh yeah, I've heard of that guy."

If this is really what the author wanted Jeff to say, then he has emotionally checked out of his and Mary's relationship a long time ago.

Personally, I think the more emotionally honest response from Jeff would have been "Oh, so your gonna go see your old boyfriend
Frank and Mary sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

Anonymous said...

As to the potential story line, I'm seeing an eventful road trip with Mary meddling in the lives of compulsive gamblers in Las Vegas, a little side trip off the beaten path to straighten out those polygamists in Colorado City, UT, maybe a stop somewhere in the plains states to settle the cowboy/rancher feud that's been raging since Rogers and Hammerstein's Oklahoma! hit the stage, a quick jaunt to Detroit to figure out how UAW workers can stretch their unemployment checks to cover those employee-priced SUV's that they still owe $25,000 on (and that no one wants to buy now, because gas is so expensive), a visit to her bitter brother-in-law in Dayton who left her sister 23 years ago and just hasn't been able to date successfully ever since--would Mary please help him to reconcile with his erstwhile wife (which way will Mary go?!?!), and finally arrive in Lake Tranquil a short five days after leaving Santa Royale.

Of course, along the way, there will be a variety of traveling companions--the runaway pregnant teenager, the hobo former CEO who's been riding the rails since the big crash of '29, and the psychopathic chainsaw hitchhiking killer who reforms after Mary suggests he just find a way to forgive his mother for insisting that he eat the cold fried eggs that he didn't want to eat on that chilly fall morning back in third grade. Maybe the road trip will actually take three months (Mary Worth time), or maybe it will really be five days, thanks to the time warp that is Mary Worth's universe.

And Jeff along to pay for the gasoline, drive for 12 hours every day, check the oil level every fill-up, and fly into a jealous rage when Mary and Frank embrace when they first lay eyes on each other.

And all of that can kick in before Anonymous' 37-month story line.


Toots McGee said...

I like it wheelhead. The only thing I would change is that the trip is made on a riding lawnmower.

Johnny said...

I am under the impression that Mary will fly to upstate New York, courtesy of Quick Airways. Toby will accompany her, thanks to the the thousands of frequent flier miles she has racked up her credit card. The flight will take 6weeks, from take off to landing. Mary will chew gum to relieve the pressure in her ears, and Toby will enjoy a cola cola.

Violet said...

How about something along the lines of "I am unironically enjoying this Mary Worth storyline due to its brisk pace, relatable motivations, believable dialogue and keen attention to artistic detail. Also, I am not on peyote."