Saturday, September 19, 2009

Mary Worth 575

While most of these heroic officers spend the drive time to the warehouse writing last-minute emails to their family or gazing at photos of their loved ones, Good ol' Shoot-em-Up Texas Magee gets his automatic handgun ready to blow away hisself some heroine cartellers. Scum bags. If this gets violent, we know where to lay the blame.

I hope no one gets hurt. I really do. Yesterday, I was in the bathroom and I fainted. I've been sick, and I was lightheaded, and I passed out from a painful cramp. Mrs. Wanders tried to catch me and kept me from crashing headfirst onto the tile. Instead, I landed on the bathroom scale and cut up my head a bit. Judging from where the needle on the scale is now permanently stuck, my head weighs 40 pounds. Mrs. Wanders woke me and sat me up against the wall. She was trying to talk to me, but I couldn't say anything... I was just zoned. I can remember wanting to tell her something, but I couldn't really say or do anything... finally, I squeaked out something like "I love you..." If I had died at that moment, it would have been very dramatic. But fortunately, I lived.

I hope that when Scott is lying in his own gore and squeaks out, "I love you..." he lives too. In my experience, it is better to forget about the drama, and live instead.

Today's Full Strip

19 comments:

BaHa said...

Be careful, Wanders. Keep electrolytes (Gatorade, say) to hand. I learned this when my husband went through a number of cancer surgeries.
I think Scott will need more than a sports drink to get through this violent Santa Royale night, though.

Cherie said...

Might I suggest a broad spectrum of antibiotics?

Take care, Wanders, only one day before the Shakedown goes down. We'll need your 40 lb head to get through this.

mrvy said...

Please consult a physician if you haven't yet! My mom had a similar experience, and it turned out she has a sinus infection that antibiotics are laying to rest. I know there's a lot of noise about resistance and overuse, but antibiotics do have their place.

Godspeed, Scott.

Cherie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brick, Brick Loose said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brick, Brick Loose said...

Excuse me. I'm having some difficulty figuring out how to become a follower.

phoebes in santa fe said...

Be careful, Wanders. Those head wounds are tricky. Do you know why you fell...?

Nothing good is going to come of this raid at the drug warehouse. Nothing. The bad guys are going to get away, heroin will flood Santa Royale, and Scott will die. I just know it. But, he'll go with Adrian holding his hand. Poor Adrian - and Santa Royale - just can't catch a break.

Robert said...

Someone who's never read "Mary Worth" might read today's strip and conclude that the police are after a criminal mastermind/supermodel named Adrian who poses for awkward, candid shots. And that would make an almost awesome story.

Wanders, take care and get well!

Caroline said...

Y'know, this entire storyline has become a parody of the wartime movies where the one young soldier pulls out a photo of his beloved and starts telling his comrades then we he gets home they're going to get married and live on a farm. Flipping heck, dead!!

Or as someone funnier than me said on CC, Scott couldn't be more doomed if he were black and two days from retirement. There's foreshadowing, and then having a flashing neon sign over every panel for three weeks. I guess subtlety isn't Ms. Moy's strong point.

Take care, Wanders! Get better. :) And if your bathroom scale is anything like mine, it tells lies anyway. (she said hopefully).

I do wish I could remember my login that shows my google ID ...

Vicki said...

So sorry to hear of your misadventure, Wanders! That's scary. Please take care of yourself. We need you!! Glad Mrs. Wanders was there with you when it happened.

And truly, Santa Royale needs these cops to be responsible (Capt. Big Pockets said so!)and RID this fair city of the scourge of heroin that is about to engulf every citizen.
In all of Santa Royale, only one doctor is on duty at this hour, and that doctor is Adrian. Need i say more? Please, cops, don't mess this up!

phoebes in santa fe said...

Caroline@6.51p - what site is "CC". Cam you give me the link? Thanks.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad Scott cleaned all that black stuff off his face before the shakedown.

Caroline said...

Phoebes - comics curmudgeon: www.joshreads.com

Funny people. But be prepared to lose a big chunk of time, about 200-300 people post there daily! :)

phoebes in santa fe said...

Thanks, Caroline.

Chester the Dog said...

Wanders, I want to kiss/lick you and make you better.

Me and Vicki and Robert and all your loopy friends love you so much.

It must be the SHAKEDOWN getting to you.

Chester the Dog said...

Wanders, maybe a little kitchen floor tiling will help that 40 pound head (full of Mary Worth)...

Brick said...

Sunday: I am relieved to see a real nurse in a nursing cap and white dress at Mountview. And is that a doctor? Are they WORKING!? Scott will be in good hands after-all.

Speaking of hands... I'm not sure that Adrian knows what late-shifting really is.

I hope today finds you feeling better, Wanders.

Anonymous said...

Will Doc Jeff diagnose Scott with Veitnamese Starvation Bloating when his bullet-riddled body gets wheeled into Malpractice Central Hospital? Will his Doctress daughter be forced to operate through a jibbering veil of tears on her betrothed? Fingers crossed, people! Fingers crossed!

I think the scale measured both the weight of your head and the force of impact, a human head weighs a mere twelve pounds all on its own. Don't want to know who figured that out, or how. Of course, you've crammed tons of Moy's bad writing in the old brainpan. Could account for the weight.

tuffenuf said...

40 Lbs! That's quite a hefty nugget.

No, seriously, we are all friends here... My sincere best wishes for a speedy recovery and a rapid disappearance of your light-headed days.

Feel better, my friend.