Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Mary Worth 636

I can't tell if this is a story warning us about the dangers of the Internet, going to college, or dating women whose names are anagrams for the word "BABY." Possibly all three.

Today's Full Strip

18 comments:

Samuel K said...

I think it's a story warning us to lock our daughters up when Wilbur's in town. He loves 'em then he leaves 'em.

phoebes in santa fe said...

"Abby Evans"? Why don't these characters ever have names like "Maria Macarado" or "Shayna Goldstein" or "Fifi LaRue" or, I don't know, anything even slightly ETHNIC?

I would have hoped when Karen MOY took over the writer's job a few years ago that someone with a slight ethnic flavor might pop up in the comic. Guess not...

Jay said...

I love that Dawn has apparently just wandered off. "Whatever, Dad, nobody cares if some guy thinks he's my long-lost brother, or about all your 'girlfriends.' I've got important Tweeting to do. Later."

Maude Findlay said...

Oh, PLEASE let there be a flashback strip- at the very least, a panel, showing a young, long-haired, wild frat boy Wilbur, chugging beer and shouting ''To-ga! To-ga!''

Vicki said...

@Jay-- maybe Dawn got sucked through that pitch black tunnel as she was tweeting! No great loss, really.

@phoebes-- I KNOW! I had such high hopes that maybe we'd finally get to meet Queenie Gomez, but no such luck.

duckdg said...

I'm doing my best to imagine this... It was UC Berkeley, maybe, in 1968, during a time of "free love". I try to imagine Wilbur there, but I can't.

Numbat said...

...And the face touching has started again. Is this some sort of strange disease that has swept through SR where everybody seems compelled to be eternally face touching? [Not a good combo really]

Interestingly my verification code is 'berat' which of course refers to Wilbur - if Facebook is to be believed - he decided to be a rat in his somewhat murky past. And look what that got him... a comeover.

Chester (the dog) Evans said...

Abby Evans, that tramp, why, even back then in the Seventies she was wandering the streets of Santa Royale (dirt roads back then), buzzed on Rheingold beer and looking for what a woman needs!

birdie said...

If there are any hackers among us, PLEASE hack into the system and erase that combover. If we're going to have to keep looking at close-ups of Wilbur, I'm not sure I can go on reading the strip.

Diving Off A Cliff said...

I'm with you, Birdie. I find the combover really repulsive. Like spiderwebs or something.

Brick said...

I agree that the comb-over is disturbing to view. It's almost as though hairs that had been collecting on Dawn's bathroom floor were carefully placed on Wilbur's bald head.

Anonymous said...

Oh no, Wilbur! You might have had the sex! Can you even remember? Can you separate your ancient nocturnal fantasies from what really happened then? Or will you be paying child support for some Mongolian baby with perfect eyesight?

Oh, you fool!

Vicki said...

Ooooo, some really bad karma is coming your way, Wilbur! Better lock your doors tight and close those curtain b/c he's coming to get you! I hear his mama didn't die of "natural causes".

Anonymousee said...

Okay, the great and powerful Giella is just messing with us now. HOW many face touches has he drawn? Pokes. Prods. Strokes. Pinches n' clutches. Grasps. Self-slaps. Unsatisfying scratches. Grips. Picks. Rubb-b-b-b-b-bsssssss....

He's trying to get us drunk! Good Ol' Uncle Joe, who woulda thunk?

To which I reply, "Good day, sir! Good day, I say! And many thanks!"

Gooooooooo JOE!

Chester (the dog) Evans said...

Hmmm, a tactful reply:

"Dear Kurt Evans, your mother died? How terrible. I happen to know she left $10,000,000 in a savings account in Nigeria, where she was an ambassador to the world..."

"Kurt, I hope you like salmon squares..."

"Kurt, so I knows it is really you, what is your social security number?"

Imogene said...

Chester sort of beat me to it---I was thinking that what Wilbur Weirdhair was typing, first up so close to the keyboard that his very heart was smushed against it, then standing over it, hands poised, like a pianist about to pound out the last dramatic notes of a concerto, was:
"Dear Mr. Evans, I am so terribly sorry to hear of the passing of your beloved mother. I hope that you and your adoptive father, the crown prince of Nigeria, are well. Please contact me if there is anything I can do to help. Also, I have an unmarried daughter who is not getting any younger."

Anonymous said...

Stories of unknown love children surfacing to middle-aged combover victims have been done before, and better, in Doonesbury.

Uncle Duke was found by his equally amoral son Earl some years ago.

I recommend Doonesbury if you like long histories of complex interwoven relationships among the characters, but with much better pacing and without the perspective issues.

phoebes in santa fe said...

anonymous@10.48a - how can you compare the wit and verve of Doonesbury with the "phone-it-in" style of Mary Worth?

For the record, "Duke" is my favorite character at Doonesbury. I particularly loved the stories with "Honey". Now, THERE was a couple to make your heart race!