Friday, March 19, 2010

Mary Worth 709

I want to know the back story here. Kurt gets his old lady pregnant (hard to tell, but I think that may be a baby bump) and runs off just like his free spirited mom. Kurt toys with the idea of starting his own resort (Evansville Resort?) and making a fortune, but ultimately decides to track down his dead mother's old boy friend. He spends three months taking a crash course in parenting. They fish, they frolic, and spend hours talking about his restless uneasiness. When it's all over Kurt feels confident that if someone like Wilbur who pulls down $25k a year writing an advice column under a female pseudonym could make such a wonderful father, maybe he could too. He returns to his old lady's pad where she either welcomes him with open arms or shoves him out the door, and they make ham and Wonder bread sandwiches together for three months before Kurt wanders off again. He hooks up with Delilah Jonis, who has also wandered off again, and Kurt raises her baby instead.

Today's Full Strip

37 comments:

phoebes in santa fe said...

Whoever thought there was a chance of this epic ending this Sunday was sadly mistaken. We now have to endure another pregnancy...

duckdg said...

Kurt is now equipped to be a calm and stable father, just like Wilbur... calm and stable... unemployed... paunchy... sluggish...

Anonymous said...

WHOA I didn't see that one coming!!!

Taryn said...

At first I thought that was an imprint of Wilbur's toilet ring-style hair on her stomach. Now I realize she's carrying a mini-Kurt or Kurtette.

Maude Findlay said...

Wait- if Kurt is so poor that he's living in some squalid crack house, WHY doesn't he take the Clark family to court, and demand a piece of their fortune? DNA doesn't lie! Just ask Wilbur. Love may be splendid thing, but it doesn't put mayo on your Wonder bread.

Chester (in squalor) said...

Maude is right.

At least Kurt and Wilbur share the same taste in paint colors.

Anonymous said...

Now we know the source of Kurt's restless uneasiness.

Maude Findlay said...

I predict that in about six months, we'll be treated to a panel of Dawn handing Wilbur the mail, where Wilbur will open up a birth announcement, reading; ''Wilbur Kurt Evans was born September 15, 2010, weighing in at 7lbs, 10oz., 19'' long. When he's old enough, we will come for a visit and go fishing with you...Grandpa!'' A tearful Wilbur will then stuff his face with sandwiches, and reflect on what could have been.

Robert said...

Clearly this was a last-minute idea thrown in to make us think this story had a point!

phoebes in santa fe said...

Maude, I've been suggesting the same thing for weeks now. How come no one listens to me?

lovesmary said...

Oh boy, could this possibly get any weirder. I see more DNA testing on the horizon!

Anonymous said...

Wait, so after having "a glimpse of what things might have been like" with Wilbur for a dad, Kurt decides he's better off in a dilapidated crack-house with some dirty, knocked-up broad. No insult, Wilbur, no sir.

Classic!

Anonymous said...

I think the tagline here is that Kurt, knowing he was to be a daddy but never having a pa of his own, went a'travlin' to learn daddy-skills from the closest thing he had to a father: a bald half-blind pigman with an addiction to mayonnaise.

Story done! New story Monday please!

Anonymous said...

What a dump...

Taryn said...

3/20 - I'm just having a really hard time buying that Kurt has had a relationship with a woman. My gaydar is giving off very strong vibes about him, with or without that strange relationship with Mr. Ed's owner.

pandagrandma said...

3/20 - This startling revelation has also cleared up the acne scars from Kurt's face! It's a miracle!

djangosmom said...

I think Kurt needs to stay home and do much needed repairs to his apartment, especially before the baby comes. Ok next story,please!

maconmemad said...

Looks like Kurt traveled back in time to me. The "mother of his child?" looks like someone from the mid 1960's and the apartment looks like something from the old Don't Eat Paint Chips Public Service ads that used to run on the Captain Kangaroo Show of the same era.

Anonymous said...

most people who live in a dump like that dont have a computer .oh and esmerelda knew for sure it was kurt when the door open .crazy

djangosmom said...

Yup, Wanders, that about sums it up. lol

Vicki said...

Oh gosh, I'm lovin' their apartment with it's "shabby chic" look! Such attention to details. The notch cut out of the drapery is an especially nice touch! Kurt's computer must be in a separate media room with the big screen tv and arcade games.

Yep, Wanders, just like Delilah "how long-will-you-be-gone-THIS time?" Jonas, Kurt too, seems to make a habit of regularly taking off, and has plenty of money for bus tickets and such.

I predict ol' Helen will die of liver cirhossis and the entire Clark Resorts fortune will conveniently fall into Kurt's lap. "And they lived happily ever after."

Anonymous said...

"Feeling restless? Uneasy? You don't need to spend your money on high-priced psychotherapy. Let Wilbur Weston help you instead. The Weston Method is a safe, effective treatment for itchy feet, wandering eyes, lonesome whistling and staring off into the distance. With your order of the Weston Method, you'll get an adjustable-length fishing pole, a combination tackle box-stadium seat, two loaves of crustless Wonder Bread, Wilbur's patented recipe for ham sandwiches, and a complete list of platitudes that will convince you to stay put and accept responsibility. Cure your wanderin' ways with the Weston Method today!"

Vicki said...

@Anon: oooo, I HAVE to have one of those! How much, how much? If I hurry and call now, can I get TWO for $19.95 plus shipping. lol?

Imogene said...

I suspect this poor young couple can only afford one pair of shoes between the two of them and Kurt took those with him on his odyssey of restlessness. No wonder she's so happy to have him back! Poor dear has been barefoot and pregnant all these months. And think how thrilled she'll be when she sees all the loaves of nice, soft, white bread he has in his duffel bag.

Anonymous said...

Just what we need Moy, another child born into poverty without a role model for a father.

Robert said...

I bet Moy and Giella are smugly thinking they've put one over on us with their overly drawn-out story and twist ending.

Barbara Hanson said...

The Yodeling Russian song was briefly featured on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me! I startled my husband by shrieking, "That's the Mary Worth and Me song!" He's since been glancing at me warily.

Anonymous said...

3/20 2nd panel ... Vulcan mind meld?

"My mind to your mind ... my thoughts to your thoughts ... you're not leaving again, are you?"
"I am not leaving again..."

tuffenuf said...

Oh good GRIEF, what a lame storyline!!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, Kurt's gal pal must be a quick change artist with the circus! From the time she opened the door to the time they went inside, she changed from a dress to jeans and a shirt!
At least she shares Wilbur's love of Creamsicle Orange decor!

Chester (saddling up) said...

I think the next time Wilbur calls "Dawn, I got an email!", if I were Dawn, I'd saddle up a smallish horse and head for happy hour at Three Trees. The poor girl just lost three months of her life, and some very valuable cell phone minutes calling Florida.

Lucky7 said...

Shaking dice in fist:

C'mon, baby ... daddy needs a new storyline ... c'mon now, give daddy a new story ...

Blows on dice. Rolls...

phoebes in santa fe said...

Hell, Chester, we've ALL lost three months of our lives! Three months we'll never get back.

birdie said...

I hope all those cracks in the wall aren't a sign of what Kurt does when he gets angry.

Won't it be fun in a few years to see Kurt romping through the woods and fields with Wilbur Jr.? Because that is what being a father is all about, isn't it?

Throw in a few fishing trips, and he might make Dad of the Year. Which will make Helen finally see the good in him and he will become heir to the family fortune, so Wilbur Jr. will be able to afford all the Wonder Bread and ham sandwiches his little heart desires.

I do like a happy ending.

Brick said...

How do you spell relief? P-O-O-L-P-A-R-T-Y

Anonymous said...

"Speaking of returns..."

The new story is about an overdue library book!

Or maybe Mary is contemplating returning a piece of fruit to the grocer's for the next eleven weeks?

This strip is doomed.

Anonymous said...

So what's the point of the whole Kurt storyline? Co-dependency is bad, interdependence is OK?

I'm stumped. And glad to finally have something new on the horizon.

--wheelhead

shilit (my new practice will be to post my word verification, just for shilits and giggilles)