Oh, Mary Worth, please tell us how to avoid the inevitable Final Parting. After all, you've known so many couples. Is it a secret mystical tea brewed from the blossoms of your magical morning glories? You are a woman driven, driven to defeat death, to boldly bypass the Final Parting. The dark arts may intimidate some, but not Mary Worth, nor her evil pruning shears.Today's Full Strip
21 comments:
It's no surprise that Mary can defeat the "final parting? She's actually gotten younger looking in the 200+ years that this strip has run. You should see the portrait of herself that she keeps on a covered easel in the attic of her condo...
"You see, Toby, love is like this flower. Once it blossoms, I must nip it in the bud. I...Me. Everybody's unhappiness is wholly reliant on my involvement.Remember, you can't spell 'Mary Worth' without 'wrath.'
Ha ha, aren't my jokes nearly as delicious as my salmon squares? *SNIP*"
Man, I love ya'l. Yesterday Manchurian Candidate, today Dorian Gray!
Nice Agatha Christie reference!
Moil Worth here looks mighty tense after three months without dispensing uselessly generic quotations from Karen Moy's well-thumbed edition of Bartlett's Famous Quotations.
From whence I quote:
"Gather ye rosebuds while ye may,
Old Time is still a-flying,
And this same flower that smiles to-day
To-morrow will be dying."
- Robert Herrick
Snip snip!
And we get a tidbit today on 4/8! I'm going with one of two things - Ernie's a gambler or Ernie's a slacker without a job.
I'll make another Manchurian reference: all Mary has to do is give him a little brainwashing and he will be well on the road to recovery or out furiously looking for a job.
Next up? Mary pays the Johnsons? a visit with some fresh out of the over salmon squares. Simply take Pillsbury pie dough, add your salmon and voila! Makes enough for 30.
The 4/8 strip seems to have Ernie pointing the Finger Of Fault(TM) at Bonnie?Bonnie Johnson? for some reason.
Either that or their condo window is talking to itself in their voices.
You know. Either or.
Uh-oh. Taboo subject approaching. I'll bet my salmon squares that Ernie is bugging Bonnie?Bonnie about losing weight.
What do you fine folks think?
In this strip, Mary moves through her Garden of Lost Souls, gleefully lopping the heads off of the beautiful, flower-like spirits with her Clippers of Eternal Damnation...all to make room for the coming addition of Bonnie and Ernie Johnson to her collection!
"Let's see, which souls can I afford to live without? Hmmm...
Is this...Frank Griffiths? What a loser that guy was."
*snip*
And is this Richie Dimalfi I see? I'd forgotten he was even in here! His brother was always MUCH more handsome and charming than him...with manlier cuticles, too."
*snip*
"Wow, I'd forgotten how much fun this was!"
*snip*
*snip*
"MWA-HA-HA-HA!"
*snip*
When Mary's ready to get her meddle on, she needs to cue her theme music. As she says "FINAL PARTING" and snips that bud, the synth intro to "The Final Countdown" by 80's Swedish metal band, Europe cranks up.
The clue, fellow MW fans, was a few weeks ago, when we ran into B?B?J? at Marcys, with her overstuffed shopping bags. She is a shop-a-holic!
I'm sticking with what I said a day or two ago: Bonnie? has a Marcy's addiction, and Ernie can't earn enough to keep up with her.
Oh, if only this were about the Johnsons being international spies whose cover is about to beblown because Bonnie? let her guard down and talked to Mary in Marcy's, compounding her mistake by accepting a dinner invitation from the world-renown meddler and deepest-secret-uncovering Mary Worth.
Alas, I have learned that Karen Moy's interpretation of Mary Worth is far less interesting than such a storyline might engender. Seeing as how we're slowly emerging from the recession caused by the bursting of a debt-fueled real estate bubble (among other financial evils), this will no doubt devolve into a PSA about proper budgeting and debt avoidance. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I prefer my platitudes to be directed at much more unlikely subjects far removed from my probably world of experience (see the current Apartment 3G storyline to see what I mean).
--wheelhead
chilmyes
I,too, think Bonnie? has a bodacious shopping addiction to Marcy's. She's not as wise as our dear Mary, who promptly returns the things she doesn't "need". Oh that Bonnie? could follow such a fine,fine example! But no, she just can't seem to control herself. Poor Ernie. How will they ever survive?
Ernie can't stand Bonnie?Bonnie Johnson's? cooking. Mary's fine meal was the final straw. Ernie wants Bonnie? Bonnie Johnson? to take a cooking class or else it's time for a final parting. Maybe Mary can give her some hints on how to roast a chicken.
That balcony shot of the Jonhsons? apartment reveals a window built into a wall that isn't actually part of a room. What kind of bizarre M.C. Escher architect designed Charterstone?
Mary won't be able to sleep a wink or eat a salmon square until B?B?J? cuts her Marcy's credit card right in two.
This may be a job for Terry Bryson and her concrete briefcase. B?B?J? may need a good whack in the head.
"That balcony shot of the Jonhsons? apartment reveals a window built into a wall that isn't actually part of a room."
Dear Lord, you're right. I'd totally missed that. The small window on the right side of the balcony leads to ... more outdoors.
The architectural firm that designed Charterstone was named "Giella, Getz, Demenshia, and Howe".
Well, that will teach me to read this strip in the wee hours. I screwed up yesterday thinking it said "snap" instead of snip, and then I thought it was Bonnie? who said "We won't survive at this rate" to Ernie.
Yup, sounds like a shopping addiction to me.
@Barbara Hanson: Actually, Macbeth. Agatha Christie may have quoted it herself.
A little "snip snip" has saved many a couple.
I can't understand how they haven't opened up to Mary! They like her cooking, don't they?!
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