In her alcohol-fueled rage against the holiest of unions, Jill finds the strength of seven men, enough to easily withstand being forcefully removed by her assailants, Crippled Cop and Mr. Wobbly Knees, as she declares to the world that she isn't finished yet! Awesome! I for one look forward to this tirade continuing throughout the holiday season. Thank you Karen Moy for this delightful Christmas present.Today's Full Strip
33 comments:
Wow, this rehearsal dinner had wine and milk! that must have been for the "big kids" table!
Must. Hold. On. To. Table. Wow, Jill has one set of man hands - check out that left hand especially.
Just saw that Brenda Starr will be ending, after 70 years, No similar fate in store for our Mary, I hope!
All this excitement is a lot of fun, but I do feel sorry for the priest, who seems to have been whacked in the ear by Scott's elbow.
That's not milk, that's eggnog. `Tis the season, after all.
Most awesome writing ever! Here I thought we had seen the last of poor drunken Jill, what with her facing a beating in the alley and all. Today she begins her comeback by shaking off Orange Boy and Mandarin Man with near superhuman strength. Tomorrow she will pick up that table and smash them over their noggins before she makes her really, really big speech. After all, she's just trying to keep Adrian from making a huge mistake. Can't blame a BF for trying!
Wanders, your description of Jill makes her sound like the Grinch! I'm just waiting for her to return with a sack and start shoving all the wedding items into it before riding off in a pickup truck with her poor, abused dog.
"Not finished yet"? Wow, this awesome strip may go on to Sunday!
This is easily the best Mary Worth in the last few years. The Best!
But, the downside is that we're going to have to hear the whole dreary story of Jill's marriage's demise. That'll take weeks or even months. Then we'll have to have Mary find a companionable fella for Jill. That'll take even longer.
Unless Moy simply gets rid of Jill by having her drive off a cliff...
That toppling 4'x1' table is about 3' high.
Poor Jill. It's not really her fault. As Jessica Rabbit said, "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way."
Please - please - please have Jill throw up before the night is over.
p.s. I've been only following for a couple of months - but I guess I'm all in now.
What happened to the bottle of wine? First it's in Jill's free hand, then suddenly she's clutching a table. Her tirade must continue to be fueled by spirits, lest her fury subside, and we don't want that!
NOW Adrian says that Jill has gone too far...but Jill isn't done yet...
JILL: "...and her car doesn't have a steering wheel!"
ADRIAN: "Jill, NOW you've gone too far."
For Emmy-
All the Worths down in Worthville liked weddings a lot-
But the Grinch known as Drunk Jill, oddly did not!
She hated the dresses, the invites and flowers
She hated the shopping, the planning, the showers
So she drank way too much, that nasty old cow, and thought-
''I must stop this wedding from coming... but how?''
She tried at the dress shop, she tried at the printers-
She acted as nasty as feet filled with splinters!
She drunkenly flirted with Dear Dr. Jeff,
His knees almost gave out- a fate worse than death!
But worst of all, when they were making the toast,
She jumped from the table and sneered at the host!
''Save yourself, Adrian! Get out while you can! Marriage is useless, you don't need a man!''
The guests stood in horror, while Scott did his duty,
He escorted her out, right in front of McSnooty-
But Jill wasn't done, no she just wasn't through-
Drunk Jill found the strength of 10 Drunk Jills, plus two!
She broke free from Scott, grabbed the bottle of Pinot
She shoved right past Mary, and scoffed; ''What does she know?''
''You may think I'm bitter, or jealous or drunk, but I'm warning you honey, don't marry this hunk!''
She'd imbibed way too much, she was drunk as a lord-
The dinner was ruined, but the guests sure weren't bored!
So Mary thought hard, of what would fix Jill-
Did she need a doctor, a lawyer, a pill?
A set-up with Wilbur? A session with Mike? A nice ride with Chester, on Mary's old bike?
She must sober up, before she can peddle, I'll let her sleep on it, before I can meddle!
@Maude: Wow, I was going to post a comment, but instead I'm giving you a standing ovation!!!
Outstanding! Thank you Maude!
Bravo, Maude! A big thanks from all of us MeddleHeads!
Maude's impressive poem would be perfectly preserved for posterity if only someone created a cross-stitch sampler from it, framed it and put it on a mantle--lovingly flanked by two crystal swans. Any volunteers, or do I have to quit my job and do it myself?
@Maude: I LOVE IT!!!
Good work, Maude.
By the way, what happened to the poor guy in the blue suit who was sitting at the table Jill decided to cling to for dear life?
@ Maude : A most EXCELLENT poem!! Thank you!!
Awwwriiight, Jill's not finished yet!!! I hope that means a thorough trashing of the "McSnooty Drink, Dance, & Dining" establishment and all it's tables, chairs and wine glasses. Go, JIll, go!!! Maybe they'll even make the six o-clock news!
Maude, your verse is awesome!
OMG! I am humbled and left speechless by your verse, Maude!
Maude,
You are my hero! I love the verse!
Maude -- that just totally made my day!
Thanks, guys! Glad you liked it. Dr. Seuss-sounding stuff just comes easily to me, I guess. Drunk Jill was a perfect muse.
Seriously, I don't think Mary Worth has been this entertaining since EVER. I can hardly wait for tomorrow! :-D
Maude- You win not only the internet, but the whole planet.
Outstanding, Maude!
What would make today's panel even more hilarious to me (if that were possible) would be if the table Jill is gripping is actually a rolling cart and she careens backwards into her escorts, breaking Jeff's knees and putting Scott back into a sling. Emergency room wedding, anyone?
I don't know how many boring rehearsal dinners I've had to sit through. The one time there's a little excitement and I wasn't invited...it figures.
Wow--what a day on Mary Worth and Me! Maude, brilliant! Everyone, the best comments ever. I'm not even going to say a word about the guy in the BLUE suit not getting the memo. He must be from out of town.
@Maude: totally brilliant!!!
Mary Worth hasn't been this engaging... er, ever!
Maude...
Your poetic masterpiece absolutely MADE MY DAY!!!!!! That was totally amazing! I would have laughed out loud, except I read it in the campus computer lab and people would have been staring at me :P
I just dont get what took Adrian so long to catch on. I mean I would have had it with Jill right from the get go at the bridal shop. THe invitations would have sealed it - that or Jill telling Adrian that she was marrying beneath herself. Can't wait to see what tomorrow brings. Oh, Maude that poem was FANTASTIC!!!! Thanks.
Maude, I salute you! Bravo!
Post a Comment