JILL: I’m going to tell you a story, Mary… and then YOU can tell ME what’s wrong with it! I warn you, though! It DOESN’T end with “Happily Ever After”!… Seven years ago, I was engaged just like Adrian!… I was high on a cloud with the man I loved! In my mind, Jordan and I were going to get married and live happily ever after!…
MARY: But that’s not what happened… was it?
JILL: Isn’t it something how things in life turn out differently than we expect?
MARY: So years ago you were engaged, but didn’t end up getting married?
JILL: Sadly, true… I still remember waiting in the church with all our guests in attendance…
MARY: Do you want something to eat?
JILL: I don’t need to! The coffee is helping… and SO ARE YOU! Seven years ago my wedding was scheduled for a day in December too! I waited for Jordan to show up. But he never did! My heart was broken and my dreams SHATTERED! I relive that awful day of waiting and then being disappointed over and over again! The events leading to Adrian and Scott’s wedding triggered bad memories for me… resulting in things I CAN’T CONTROL!
The end
That was an excellent story, but now why don't you take a little break, pour yourself a glass of eggnog, and come back for the sequel:
MARY: Jill, I’m sorry about what happened to you… but it’s unfair for Adrian to be affected by it! Especially now when she’s FINALLY found happiness. You’re traumatized by a disappointment that happened years ago, Jill… and it must be hard to process…
JILL: Hard? It was devastating being dumped by my fiance at the altar! I’ll NEVER get over it!
MARY: Adrian’s a good person… and after all she’s been through, she’s FINALLY found happiness! Why deny her that?… Because of what happened in your past? The past only exists by how you remember it! Why not keep what’s good for you and forget the rest? You can never really live in the present… if you’re dwelling in the past! Adrian’s found happiness and you will too… if you allow it in! Adrian asked you to be part of her wedding party because she didn’t want you to feel left out! Don’t pay her back with bad behavior on your part! She deserves better! What you went through was rough, but now it’s time to put it behind you!
JILL: I feel bad… and I’m so embarrassed! I need to make it up to Adrian!...
I love Mary's horrified skepticism and Jill's reckless look of determination in this panel. Well, Mary...this should teach you not to meddle. There's no way a psychopath like Jill won't make things completely worse by trying to make things up to Adrian. This should be the best wedding ever!
12 comments:
"I'll find a way..."
Them's fightin' words, Miss Jill...
Oh, and Happy Christmas and Merry New Year from this REAL Jill. (My real name).
You forgot to mention that for the full effect, your eggnog during the break should be spiked. Or maybe start out with the rum and spike it with a little eggnog.
"Who put eggnog in my eggnog?"
Happy Holidays to you!
@bats :[ great to see you back, bats. :]
That's a pretty tight fist; looks like Jordan's finally going to get what's coming to him.
"And I'll start by punching you in the face, you meddling old gasbag!!! Didn't see that coming, did you? You think people really want your advice!!!!! HA HA HA!!!!!" Jill has overpowered Karen Moy, stepping off the page and breaking the fourth wall!!! Merry Christmas!!!!
Staying away from the wedding would be the best "way," Jill, but it would be awfully boring for us!
Mary: (aside) Dear God! What have I done?!
This promises to be interesting. ;)
Jill's thoughts: "Hmmm, perhaps the second best way I could help is to go to the wedding and get completely plastered! Yeah! I think that's how I'll help Adrian!" Let's hope that Jill's on our side on this one!
I'm trying to help Jill think of ways to "make it up" to Adrian on such short notice. Perhaps a lovely wedding gift of a 3 qt. crock pot or perhaps a chia pet to enhance their home?
Eggnog, hell. I'm moving on to Evernog!*
*Everclear grain alcohol & eggnog. Proportions: your call, probably related to access to Santa Royale.
Happy holidays, kids!
Maybe Jill will be encouraged to attend the wedding if they have a open bar.
If Karen Moy had any decency, Jill would drunkenly curse the wedding party, elope with Scott, leaving Adrian at the altar to say, "Oh dear, 'Jill-ted' wasn't the look I was going for!"
Then everyone would go to the Bum Boat, where amazingly, salmon squares are on the appetizer menu. And Mary would "momentarily" leave the party with Waiter McSnooty.
For us three-dimensional types, salmon squares can be found here!
My word verification: slyelibl. If only the e was between the b and the l!
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