Well, as Mary Worth lounges in her Forever Lazy, we can either expect a new story, or Emily's family is coming to find out how Emily can become a model. I mean, Mary said she knows somebody.
And whatever happened to the hipsters who stole her wallet? What kind of lesson is this, letting that story go? Mary, wake up and smell the coffee - the Santa Royale police department is failing you!
This strip has taken a religious turn with all the talk about miracles and thanking God. Today Mary takes an oath on the Bible in preparation for meeting the Jehovah's Witnesses at her door.
I think Mary is expecting the Pope and archbishops. She's sure she's going to be beatified for the miracle she performed. Most people have to wait until they're dead, but they probably have considerd her age and decided that Mary is immortal.
The possibilities are endless. Adrian and what's his name...Dr. Drew and his "friend" from Men's Wellness...Bree and a bowl of rainbow swirl...I need to sit down and take a breather, I don't think I can handle such excitement.
Perhaps the crimewave theme will escalate with this new story. Upon opening the door, Mary will not face her very special visitor, but instead a brazen burglar, come to rob her at knife point. Luckily, Mary reaches back for her concrete book, whacks the guy on the head and ties him up with the extension cord to her reading lamp. Once he comes to, Mary can lecture him to death. Well, we should be so lucky. It's probably some old biddy delivering yet another boring pie or something.
So Mary has put her armchair right next to the door so she can spring right up when visitors arrive? That must startle them, when she flings open the door a nanosecond after they ring the doorbell.
I've never seen an Adirondack chair with those rolled and padded arms before. As to Mary's visitors, I'm yearning for them to be Wayne and his attorney, come to take Mary's deposition.
Attorney: Just tell the *&^%$#@! truth, ya old crone. Wayne: Don't talk to the old crone that way, ya *&^%$#@! lawyer! Mary: Anyone for a *&^%$#@! cuppa tea?
Please join Mary and her special guests Karen Moy and Joe Giella. Music will be provided by William Hung of American Idol fame. Finally, Mary will be welcoming the comic stylings of Carrot Top.
Wonderful comments today! But I'm afraid the *guests* are the Meals on Wheels volunteers and Visiting Nurses of Santa Royale. It's time for Mary's chicken noodle soup and weekly sponge bath. (You didn't think she kept her youthful looks by herself, did you?)
@ Beagle Vet & Paul -- Yep! Actually, she doesn't even need to get up -- she's positioned her chair in her tiny pillbox apartment so she doesn't even need to get up. She can just reach right over and open the door when her "special guests" get there. Now there's a sedentary lifestyle!
This reminds me of something. Gosh, what was it??? Oh, oh, oh, I got it!
Cue music:
This is the story that doesn't end, Yes, it goes on and on my friend, Some people started reading it not knowing what it was And they'll continue reading it forever just because. This is the story that doesn't end,........
Mary isn't going to share these good times with anyone else (Jeff, Bree, Toby, etc.) - she, and she alone (in her mind), is why Emily is "safe" again, and Mary feels no compunction at all for not inviting any others. I think Mary is going to call up the local news to have them do a profile on her on how she alone saved Emily - that should stretch the story out another week.
Note that Mary does not return the hug. She holds her arm out rather than embracing Emily's grateful mother.
Please do not hold this against her. She is practicing being a statue. She's got a pedestal in a nook at church (or maybe in Santa Royale's public square) all ready for her.
The forgotten man in all this is Bill the Manager, last mentioned on January 11. Because of Mary's hogging of the limelight, we'll never know which kitchen implement Bill brandished as he pursued Wayne. Poor Bill, not even fifteen minutes of fame....
So the Smiths will visit Mary all this week. Then Toby will drop by and Mary will spend the following two weeks telling her the whole Emily Smith story.
@Thorpnotized- Ugh, I forgot about the obligatory Toby rehash/update that every story has! I thought we'd be spared, considering we went through Jeff's update, and now the Smith's update. Aren't we long overdue for a pool party?
Big faux pas! People from Goleta apparently don't know that, quite like the Queen of England, you do NOT touch Mary, let alone embrace her!!! Goodness sakes, what do they teach those kids down there!?
48 comments:
I think the visitor is Bree - delivering her sweater that she forgot again.
And whatever happened to the hipsters who stole her wallet? What kind of lesson is this, letting that story go? Mary, wake up and smell the coffee - the Santa Royale police department is failing you!
This strip has taken a religious turn with all the talk about miracles and thanking God. Today Mary takes an oath on the Bible in preparation for meeting the Jehovah's Witnesses at her door.
What kind of pillbox apartment is Mary living in? She has to pull the chair out of the way every time she wants to get a book off the bookshelf.
Either that, or she has bookself-patterned wallpaper.
Reminds me of Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood; where is Mary's red sweater?
Must be a boring book for her mind to be wandering like it is.
I don't think it's a book. I think it's a photo album with pictures of herself.
The picture on the table is an optical illusion - I can see two different faces in it when I stare at it for a while.
I think Mary is expecting the Pope and archbishops. She's sure she's going to be beatified for the miracle she performed. Most people have to wait until they're dead, but they probably have considerd her age and decided that Mary is immortal.
The possibilities are endless. Adrian and what's his name...Dr. Drew and his "friend" from Men's Wellness...Bree and a bowl of rainbow swirl...I need to sit down and take a breather, I don't think I can handle such excitement.
Perhaps the crimewave theme will escalate with this new story. Upon opening the door, Mary will not face her very special visitor, but instead a brazen burglar, come to rob her at knife point. Luckily, Mary reaches back for her concrete book, whacks the guy on the head and ties him up with the extension cord to her reading lamp. Once he comes to, Mary can lecture him to death. Well, we should be so lucky. It's probably some old biddy delivering yet another boring pie or something.
I hope Mary is reading a good English grammar next, so that she'll learn never to say, "That's them" again.
So Mary has put her armchair right next to the door so she can spring right up when visitors arrive? That must startle them, when she flings open the door a nanosecond after they ring the doorbell.
--Beagle Vet
Maybe it's Arm-in-Sling Amy, returning Mary's casserole dish, accompanied by her no-good son - Wayne.
wv "scoweed" - Tastes great sprinkled on your morning kelk (adds fiber, too!)
I've never seen an Adirondack chair with those rolled and padded arms before. As to Mary's visitors, I'm yearning for them to be Wayne and his attorney, come to take Mary's deposition.
Attorney: Just tell the *&^%$#@! truth, ya old crone.
Wayne: Don't talk to the old crone that way, ya *&^%$#@! lawyer!
Mary: Anyone for a *&^%$#@! cuppa tea?
Please join Mary and her special guests Karen Moy and Joe Giella. Music will be provided by William Hung of American Idol fame. Finally, Mary will be welcoming the comic stylings of Carrot Top.
I did a little image enhancement on the spine of Mary's book... The Necronomicon!
Of course she's studying the Necronomicon Journal. It would be only natural for her to wonder if other saints or holy persons named Mary ever die.
Candygram....
Wonderful comments today! But I'm afraid the *guests* are the Meals on Wheels volunteers and Visiting Nurses of Santa Royale. It's time for Mary's chicken noodle soup and weekly sponge bath. (You didn't think she kept her youthful looks by herself, did you?)
Peggy-love your guess! Hope they don't sponge her down with soup and force-feed her with Ivory soap.
I think it's Heidi Klum and Seal.
Can't we move on?
@ Beagle Vet & Paul -- Yep! Actually, she doesn't even need to get up -- she's positioned her chair in her tiny pillbox apartment so she doesn't even need to get up. She can just reach right over and open the door when her "special guests" get there. Now there's a sedentary lifestyle!
I don't believe it! PLEASE, not another full week of Emily and her parents!!!
I KNEW it! And why did Mr. Smith bring Mary a bag of garbage?
yea, I wonder what's in the bag?
It just now occurred to me that it might be a badly drawn fruit basket or something the way Dad Smith is carrying it.
All hail Wanders! He totally called it. Perhaps Emily's modeling wigs and tiaras are what's in Dad's bag.
Contents of the bag? Wayne's head, so Mary can have it stuffed and mounted on her wall.
....and in panel 2 the radiant glow of Mary's beatification halo continues to emanate....
...until she gets handed that bag of garbage that is. At least now we know how Mary furnishes her condo.
There we have it - Our Lady of Santa Royale. That book she was reading yesterday must have been the holy scriptures she wrote.
You can search high and low, but you won't find a more poorly color-coordinated family than the Smiths (including their hair - oy!).
I cannot believe this storyline is still going on.
Maybe the bag is the Smith's luggage--they're moving into St. Mary's.
Next plot: Reality TV comes to Santa Royale in 'Mary +3!'
This reminds me of something. Gosh, what was it??? Oh, oh, oh, I got it!
Cue music:
This is the story that doesn't end,
Yes, it goes on and on my friend,
Some people started reading it not knowing what it was
And they'll continue reading it forever just because.
This is the story that doesn't end,........
Continue ad nauseum
Maybe Mr. Smith is carrying a bag of reward money, recently withdrawn from the bank in Monopoly.
Mary isn't going to share these good times with anyone else (Jeff, Bree, Toby, etc.) - she, and she alone (in her mind), is why Emily is "safe" again, and Mary feels no compunction at all for not inviting any others. I think Mary is going to call up the local news to have them do a profile on her on how she alone saved Emily - that should stretch the story out another week.
Note that Mary does not return the hug. She holds her arm out rather than embracing Emily's grateful mother.
Please do not hold this against her. She is practicing being a statue. She's got a pedestal in a nook at church (or maybe in Santa Royale's public square) all ready for her.
The forgotten man in all this is Bill the Manager, last mentioned on January 11. Because of Mary's hogging of the limelight, we'll never know which kitchen implement Bill brandished as he pursued Wayne. Poor Bill, not even fifteen minutes of fame....
No! End!! END!!!
So with such important guests coming, you just sit on your butt in your favorite royal purple Snuggli?
Even Mary's phoning it in now.
So the Smiths will visit Mary all this week. Then Toby will drop by and Mary will spend the following two weeks telling her the whole Emily Smith story.
Dave in Parma with the "candygram" thread-winner!
--Beagle Vet
Soon, Our Lady of Santa Royale images will be seen everywhere:
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Virgen_de_guadalupe1.jpg
@Thorpnotized- Ugh, I forgot about the obligatory Toby rehash/update that every story has! I thought we'd be spared, considering we went through Jeff's update, and now the Smith's update. Aren't we long overdue for a pool party?
I'm guessing that the plastic bag the Smiths brought contains Mary's medium length sweater. They were so grateful, they had it dry-cleaned.
Big faux pas! People from Goleta apparently don't know that, quite like the Queen of England, you do NOT touch Mary, let alone embrace her!!! Goodness sakes, what do they teach those kids down there!?
Oh, dear...I was absent yesterday and had to make up two day's worth of Worth this evening...what great comments, everyone!
And, Mary darling, first: it's "that must be THEY" not "them" and second: I hope you enjoy your new, very large, bowling ball. You earned it!
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