Speaking of interesting columns, George R.R. Martin, the author of Game of Thrones, has expressed his concern about those U.S. states that are requiring voters to show identification papers. He's got some real concerns about this issue, and after reading his article, I can only say, "Life is brutal."
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Hi, folks, while you're waiting for some further plot development, let me introduce myself. I'm Joe Giella, and I can no longer allow my public to think that I am responsible for this disgusting plot line. Don't worry, we've got plenty of time- there's no danger of anything happening any time soon.
We've been producing Mary Worth together for a long time now, and neither of us is as young as we used to be. The work got too hard, and so few papers carry us anymore- we're not making a fortune here.
About 15 years ago, we decided to make things easier for ourselves. Karen subcontracted the storylines out to kids in her neighborhood. For example, little Jason suggested a Transformer-themed story, and Karen's working on it. The Gina- Bobby story is based on a suggestion of My Little Pony and Bratz dolls. You can see how that worked out.
Meanwhile, I decided to make some outside money, and I started soliciting sponsors. Ian Cameron was a goldmine for me! VisitScotland, sure, Omaha Haggis, Profs and Hot Grad Students Magazine, Angus of Aberdeen Kilts, you get the picture. It worked great for a while until Moy figured out what was happening, then Ian disappeared from view. Check it out- he's only appeared in three- THREE!- panels in the last four years.
Well, I don't give up easily. It was pretty simple to get sponsorships from Depends, Polident, Rascal Scooters, and the like. Take a look at Mary's gums the next time she smiles. Polident pays me handsomely to make them look like that.
When Karen glommed on to my idea, she got her own sponsorships. The Aldo Kelrast story- Midas Brakes Repair, MADD... I did manage to wangle a few bucks from the Captain Kangaroo Fan Club- Moy never figured that one out. She did get a little sinecure from the Bum Boat restaurant chain in Ashtabula, Ohio. If it weren't for that, Dr. Jeff would fall off his gigantic cabin cruiser (you're welcome, folks) and sleep with the fishes. Moy makes her car payment with that one.
Some of the sponsorships were harmless, but boring. The Sonny and Cher handbag and identity theft storyline was sponsored by freecreditreport.com, and the Emily Smith kidnap story had the Diner Association of America on board; I called in a favor from Ben and Jerry when the Rainbow Swirl ice cream was featured. Even Members Only jackets kicked in a few bob.
The Gina and Bobby bit (lord, how I hated illustrating that piece of poppycock) had lots of sponsors. The mobster rub-out portion was sponsored by the Waste Management Association (hint, hint), the Professional Major League Indoor Soccer Association or something like that paid a little; ditto the Hilton Hotel Chain. And Bratz dolls of course, and the Skateboarders of America...
The whole Nola and the Hobo story was almost impossible to make money on, but I did! Bet you didn't know about the movie "Hobo with a Shotgun", but they had a little cash to put out for publicity...
Well, that's in the past, and now we have just witnessed the most ham-fisted and insensitive storyline that Mary Worth (I can barely bear to type out that smug old crone's name) has ever encountered. When Moy first started talking about a cruise-related plot, I was quick on the phone to my old friend Giorgio at the International Cruising Association. A little vigorish, I told him, and we'll make Mediterranean cruising look like heaven on earth; it'll make everyone forget about the recent unpleasantness on the Costa Line. Little did I know that Moy was just going to completely plagiarize the Vanity Fair story! ( Although I did manage to get a small check from Mattel when I made the chopper Barbie Pink, and the rescuers look like GI Joes.)
So here we are. We've offended the few dozen readers we have left, and my brilliant past as an artist in the Silver Age of action comics is just a dim memory except for a few nerds who don't read MW anyway. But for you, my few dedicated fans, I want to let you know that all the little weirdities you see in each panel (the moving and/or disappearing furniture, the endless illustrations of big cement books {I gotta be honest here, I'm just too damn old to draw that many realistic books}, Mary's wanky eye, Toby's appearing and disappearing sex appeal, the extra digits on the occasional hand, the Thanksgiving Day all-goop banquet) are my humble attempts to keep you interested.
Well, that's all for today. I'll be back again soon to tell you more about the secrets of the Mary Worth strip.
Meg! You are brilliant. Girl, you need to be writing "Mary Worth," not Moy.
Meg, I've said it before, you are some kind of genius! Actually, I was thinking kindly of Joe Giella myself. He has provided us with all of the snarky fun we could milk out of this awful storyline, what with the Barbie copter with the lovely hardwood floors, and the robocop rescuers. And you are right, the storyline was in no way his fault.
We may poke a lot of fun at Uncle Joe (and will continue to do so, I am sure), but it could be a lot worse. I followed up on a suggestion by one of our colleagues a few weeks ago, and began checking in toread "Apartment 3G" online, and compared to that artist, Giella is a master draftsman. So, hail to you, Joe Giella, long may you wave a pen and pencil!
"
If Dave meets Dawn at the airport would that wipe out her "learning experience?" i.e. "I'm a better person now, live for others, live a life of charity..errrr, Hi Dave!!!"
Now that Mr. Giella has spilled the beans about the "little weirdities you see in each panel" (bravo to the brilliant Meg!), I won't bother warning Mary about the shrubbery that's creeping up on her between the strip panels today. This also explains why the first panel in yesterday's MW showed Mary's windows on an upper floor, with no lurking vegetation whatsoever.
Remember Anonymous who took us to task last Thursday for being "indignant" at the sinking cruise ship plot? I wonder if that was Karen Moy.
Looks like Mary is watching the Blue Channel on TV.
I think today's strip is about as exciting as the watery part of a soft-boiled egg, and that's by MW Standards.
Thunderbirds Are Go!
meg, you're brilliant but you forgot Moy's best and most expensive product placement/freebee.
Remember when she had those stupid honeymooners turn down an all expense-paid vacation at the Four Seasons Bora Bora?
phoebes- Joe never saw any money on the Four Seasons deal. Moy went there with her new boyfriend, and all Joe got was a post card. But don't worry, he got a bit of a payout from AA for making public drunkeness look reallllly unattractive.
"New" boyfriend, meg? Are you saying or implying that Moy and Giella were once an item?????
phoebes- I know nothing of any Moy/Giella pairing, but the only kind of boyfriend Joe could be is "old".
meg--Joe's still too young for Mary!
I usually grab my iPhone as soon as I wake up and check the temperature, my e-mails and MW&M (not always in this order!). Since I moved out west a few months ago (from Ohio - where so many of you still live and comment to my unending delight!), I have the luxury of always waking up to Wanders' diligent postings and a link to the full strip - MW is not published in my local paper :-(
I can usually also read a bunch of comments right off the bat since I am a few hours behind a lot of you. When I saw Meg's extensive contributions this morning I decided not to read them right away. That kind of entertainment should be savored, not gobbled up on an empty stomach! So I waited until my mid-morning coffee break to read all comments. As Jill would say, "Hahahahahaha!" So much fun! Thanks for busting my gut!
I think we should examine past strips for more "product/service placements" to see where all the cash is coming from that these two knuckleheads must earn with this comic strip. What department store is paying them for the ubiquitous pink drapes and orange couches, for example? And coffee, good Lord, all that coffee!
BTW, has Vanity Fair served them with a plagiarism suit yet? They should, you know.
Mr. Wanders, I appreciate your noting George R.R. Martin's comments about the scourge of voter ID. Especially living here in Ohio, which we might as well call "Ohio-ssippi", we're holding our breath about whether or not we'll be able to vote this fall. . . More suspense than a Mary Worth comic strip. . .
@meg, your writing cracks me up...I love it so much!
I believe Radio Shack must have paid a pretty little something for "Hospital Hi Fi"! You don't get to feature all those electronic parts for free!
Well, yesterday I wrote about Mary's missing coffee. Surely by now she's getting the jitters!?
Maybe Toby will do one of her hideous clown paintings to depict this cruise ship tragedy.
Mr. Martin should continue to write fantasy.
--Beagle Vet
Um -- did I miss something? Why are we getting political on Mary Worth and Me? I'm asking this in all sincerity: I've been away for a week, with limited Web access, so I was just wondering if there was something I missed, about the blog going political.
Because honestly, I spend much of my time covering political issues. This is one of the places I go to get AWAY from all that.
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