Thursday, October 11, 2012

Mary Worth 1,431

We may not be able to control what happens to us, but we CAN control our font size. And that is one small font.

Today's Full Strip


Punky said...

I'd love to see the expression on Editor's face as this drivel rolls into his in box....

Peggy Olson said...

Dear Wendy,
My question was, "Should I invite my gossipy cousin to my wedding?" Could you please just answer my question? I need to mail the invitations soon.

Confused Reader

fauxprof said...

Notice how beautifully Mary arches her wrists, just as she was taught by her piano teacher back in 1915. She is about to give us her rendition of "Fur Elise" in the 4th grade recital. But, alas, all that comes out is banal blathering. So much for looking back to a life well lived.

Anonymous said...

@Peggy Olson

Dear Confused Reader,
Good things come to those who wait! You must realize that waiting strengthens character because it allows you to stop and think about everything in your life. Two birds in a hand is worth two in a bush. Patience is a virtue. You snooze you lose. I've run out of generic bland advice for now, but you should instantly feel like your life has changed. Ciao!


kathyo said...

I see Wendy answered my question:

Dear Wendy,
Is our planet headed for extinction on Dec. 21? What if the ancient Mayan doomsday prophecy is true? What can we do to save the human species?

Mike in Cleveland said...

And I'm amazed that she can get all this typed using just the number pad and the Print Screen button.

Chester the Dog said...

What is she blabbing on about?

Isn't she supposed to be answering letters like: "Dear Wendy, my cat tinkled on my neighbors shoes. Should I pay for a new pair?"

Thorpnotized said...

Mary's hands seem to be changing into some kind of flipper-like appendages in the second panel. I wonder what animal she will resemble tomorrow...

birdie said...

Whatever we say about her blathering, she does have lovely hands for a woman of her age. I wonder if Madge soaked them in Palmolive for her?

KitKat said...

Eesh, Mary's yadda yadda is going to continue through at least Sunday, I expect. Karen Moy must be tap-dancing for time.

Judging by her peculiar affect the past few days, I think Mary should prove that SHE'S not a robot.

meg said...

Dear Wendy:

I hope you can help me with my problem. I am a major executive in a large Santa Royale corporation. One of my employees is giving me agita. He recently underwent a major, life-threatening experience. Although he is physically fine, the quality of his work leads me to believe that he is not 'with it', not 'playing with a full deck', not 'living in the reality-based community', 'out to lunch', 'barmy', 'wacky', 'unhinged'. Do you know what I mean, Wendy?

What should I do?


Dear "Ed"-

Are you saying he's 'nuts', 'cray-cray', 'daft', 'batty', 'bonkers'?

Is that what you mean?


Dear "Wendy":



Dear "Ed":

Fire his insane a-- and hire someone who knows what she's doing.


Nance said...


I feel like Mary is typing in a daze, as if SHE can't control what's happening to herself. Her long-winded, rambling, and oddly-worded soliloquies are apropos of nothing and seem to be the work of Huge Computer, forcing her to sit there and type.

Also, anyone else feel as if Jim is Over As A Character? I think Dawn's little interlude with him was a plot device to wrap her up, and the mention of Wilbur's new column is going nowhere. What a draggy bunch of drek.

Ben said...

She realized she needed some statistics in the article, so she jammed both hands into the number pad, breaking the keyboard and her fingernails in one fell swoop.

Anonymous said...

This is unbelievable. Pathetic, even.

Did someone give Moy an "inspirational thought of the day" book suddenly and she feels the need to plagiarize it for lack of any creativity of her own?!?

Come on already... MOVE ON. NEXT!!!

Toots McGee said...

"That's not writing, that's typing"

Truman Capote on Jack Kerouac

"That's not typing, that's an epileptic seizure."

Toots McGee on Mary Worth

Anonymous said...

I don't know about the rest of you, but I read Mary Worth for the excitement.

Dave in Parma said...

@ kathyo--we can only hope--with this 'plot', 12/21/12 can't come quickly enough.

How long must we wallow in this disaster/advice column plot indecision morass?

Mary's Old Lady Smell said...


Everyone said...

Dear Wendy,

Could you please publish Karen Moy's home address? I would like to send her hate mail.


mrvy said...

@Thorpnotized - Maybe Mary has learned to type with her toes. Hands or feet, whatever they are, they're frightening. Perhaps Mary's brain is completely disengaged and the flippers have taken on a life of their own.