Thursday, November 1, 2012

Mary Worth 1,447

You know, Dawn, that's exactly what Dave said about you, and look where you ended up... days on the couch watching Game of Thrones, then a sinking ship in the middle of the ocean. And Jim is afraid of boats right now, so this might not be the best plan.

Today's Full Strip 

19 comments:

Mike in Cleveland said...

Here's an idea, Dawn: Why not let the volunteer director at the hospital know what you've been up to. Perhaps you can get some advice from him/her.

I'd love to overhear that conversation.

heydave said...

Some loving attention given to the soulful Dawn today, but that does little to hide to fact that she's stump-dumb. Break off the friendship, until...? Seriously, Moy has no idea how people speak and just throws words around, probably with intent to harm.

fauxprof said...

This is beginning to sound like one of those Lifetime Movie of the Week scripts. Dawn ends the friendship (probably by text message, taking a cue from Dave), which sends Jim into a full psychotic break. This probably will be a little more dramatic than taking to the couch for a Game of Thrones marathon. I sure hope Dawn is better than Mrs. Kimble at fighting off a one-armed man.

(How many pop culture references am I allowed in one paragraph?)

Elaine said...

I almost didn't post - fauxprof @7:47 took the words right out of my mouth. But then I saw my WV - Manless. How perfect is that! Does the server that generates these things also know Dawn, and realize that it's safer for everyone if she IS manless??

CT083 said...

Ah yes Dawn, Jim's behavior is a little odd. That whole wanting to protect you from danger after having an arm and someone he loved ripped from him is a little strange. This man is an animal and must be avoided at all cost.
Actually I think dragging him to the very place his life turned into hell is a little odd, if not psychotic, and maybe Jim should avoid you.

The Federation to Drown Dawn said...

of course Dawn... After all, this is all about YOU.

KitKat said...

What does Dawn mean by "friendship"? Does she consider lunches in the hospital cafeteria and chit-chat on a bench a friendship? Maybe Dawn can write to "Ask Wendy."

BTW, has anyone else noticed that Dawn's ever-present heart pendant has been AWOL this week? It made it through Italy and the Unita del Mare wreck, but not Mary's kitchen.

birdie said...

Yes, Dawn, of course you should break it off because it's hard and you've never done anything hard in your life. When you talked about "helping Jim" you didn't realize that he would really need any help.

Maybe you should ask if you get extra credit at school for helping somebody who really needs help. They'll probably give it to you just to get you out of there.

Nance said...

@fauxprof--all of them.

Whose ashes are in the urn behind Dawn, and why does Mary keep them in her kitchen?

Holy crap, this strip gets creepier by the day!

@9:00AM in the running for best commenter name today

Anonymous said...

Time for Mary to meddle Jim! No way she can resist is there?

Mary is a self-proclaimed people expert - she can mend him.

Nice hand-off Dawn.

Imogene said...

Do they do emotional hurdles in physical therapy?

Not Moy said...

Yes, Dawn, that is what friends are for. When a problem arises one breaks off the friendhip until the friend gets the proper therapy. With friend like you.....

Imogene said...

Do they do emotional hurdles in physical therapy?

meg said...

Nance @10:37--That isn't an urn with "dear Jack's" ashes; it's a humidor filled with Mary's favorite Swisher Sweets.

meg said...

Charterstone Confidential

by Ivana Newman
special to the Santa Royale Whig-Herald

On the surface, Charterstone Condominium Complex looks like an idyllic, upscale neighborhood where some of the women are strong, some of the men are good-looking, and all the children are out of sight.

But look beneath the surface, and you will find that all is not as it seems. Your reporter has been following the people of this complex for many months, and I can now reveal the following:

Wilbur Weston: apparently a nebbishy, sandwich-loving, combover-sporting, sweater vest- wearing, woman- repelling, daughter-indulging newspaper columnist with the pen name of "Wendy." The real Wilbur:a cross-dressing, club-crawling, foie gras-craving, Dear Abby-plagiarizing hack writer whose nom de plume "Wendy" was given him in the Santa Royale Hairy Gurls' Disco, of which he is an habitue.

Dawn Weston: on the surface, a college-extending, hair-painting, man-hungry, dim-witted, widow-befriending, clown-painting 30- year-old teen. The real Dawn: a college-extending...30- year- old teen. Wears lavender when she wants to be noticed.

Mary Worth: apparently a genteel,well-to-do, advice-giving, ptomaine-causing, grey book-owning, doctor-teasing, rose-snipping busybody. The real Mary: a snuff-dipping, cigar-smoking,beer-chugging, card-sharking, Medicare-defrauding, Chippendales-viewing, puppy-kicking, Justin Bieber-hating old biddy. Wears lavender when she hasn't done her laundry.


Ian Cameron: superficially, a bluster-spouting, self-regarding, kilt-wearing, haggis-eating, bagpipe-playing, Mary-admiring, Mel Gibson-movie-watching adjunct professor who's been trying to get recommended for tenure for two decades (marrying Toby, his much younger student and dumping his choir-directing, tenure-achieving, gin-swilling, canasta-playing first wife, Callista Cameron, means he ain't nevah gon' get tenure-nevah!) Beneath the kilt, Ian is a bluster-spouting...adjunct professor who would love to get a bit closer to Mary, if you know what I mean.

Toby Weston: seemingly a dizzy blond 30-something faculty wife with too much time on her hands. The real Toby: a Scots-despising, kilt-washing, haggis-cooking, divorce-considering, bagpipe-destroying, Mary-tolerating, student-flirting housewife with too much time on her hands who would like to have an affair with someone young enough to be.....er, her brother.

Dave in Parma said...

Do people really give such extended thought over if they want to start (not continue) a causal acquaintance?

If I were Dawn (and thank God I'm not; my wife in particular would be concerned) I would be much more concenred about the fact that Charterstone is slowly slipping into the La Brea tar pits again, much like the Costa Concordia slowly slipped into the tuscan waters.

Imogene said...

Are emotional hurdles part of Mountview's physical therapy program?

Anonymous said...

@Meg-- Did Toby divorce Ian and marry Wilbur while we weren't paying attention? Or was that just wishful thinking on your part?

meg said...

Arrrrrrgghh!