It was a profound moment when Queen Elizabeth first said this after 9/11. Today not so much. Particularly since Mary thinks that if she just adds an "i-n-g" to grief and love, she doesn't have to attribute her source.
I've said it before and I'll say it again, Mary Worth is not a very good writer.
Now here's something a little more profound:
Landfill Harmonic film teaser from Landfill Harmonic on Vimeo.
20 comments:
That's it, my precioussssss.... a few more days of platitudes and bloviating... yessssss.......
New plot: Dec. 17... you heard it here.
Please, Karen Moy, do the humane thing and pull the plug on this story. We don't need a rehash of all this with Dawn and Mary, or Mary and Toby, or Mary and Dr. Jeff, or...
Wanders, thanks for being doubly on your game today. Apparently Mary/Wendy/Karen Moy thinks that if you're going to steal, you may as well steal from the best. Second, I appreciate your drawing our attention to the inspiring "Landfill Harmonic."
So, from "good" trash to MW: Why is that monitor to the left of the keyboard, and what exactly is on the screen? PlatitudesWorks is a peculiar software program, isn't it? Mary needs to upgrade to 2.0.
"Nausea is the price we pay for reading this strip."
On an unrelated note, does Mary's computer monitor shoot flames and fireworks when the home team scores?
As the platonic frinds walk away arm and armless, we close this episode of Mary Worth and bid goodbye to another six months of our lives.
@fauxprof, you haven't posted lately. Your reliably witty and insightful comments are missed! I hope this is just a temporary hiatus (perhaps a quickie trip to Santa Royale came up?).
And thanks for the cool video link, Mr. Wanders; finally got to play it at a faster computer than when I initially blabbed on.
The crates on the pier (from yesterday) are filled with more MW platitudes. Please Jim and Dawn-Merry don't open them up.
To: All Readers of Mary Worth and Me, a blog
From: King Features Syndicate
Subject: Transfer of Worth characters to other comic strips
As many of you may know, the newspaper industry is on the wane, and newspapers are cutting back on syndicated features, including comics. KFS has been asked to participate in a beta project to explore the possibility of combining some comic strips with others.
For instance, we explored combining Mary Worth with the Beetle Bailey strip, with somewhat mixed results.
The Scene: Camp Swampy Officers Club, the annual Christmas karaoke party. Professor Ian Cameron has the mike. He is quite drunk on Old MacDonald fine Scotch Whiskey, and he is performing a medley of Elvis hits.
"I'll hae a plaid Hogmanay wi'out ye"
"Loave me tender, loave me tough, aneath my kilt I'm in the buff"
"Hunka hunka burning Celtic Love"
"Viva Loch Lomond"
These songs went down very well with the military officers and their guests. But then Ian announced his intention to honor Hoagy Carmichael, "yon son of Lanarkshire" with a bagpipe version of Carmichael's novelty song, "I'm a cranky auld Yank in a clanky auld tank on the streets of Yokohama with my Honolulu mama, singing the neat-o, beat-o, flat-on-my-feet-o Hirohito blues."
It is hard to tell a 20 stone drunken Scotsman that he has to yield the mike. So they called out Whale Team Six.
Ian and other members of the Worthiverse were trucked out of Swampy before daylight.
Next, Apartment 3-G was considered for the Worth characters. Unfortunately, when Mary Worth knocked on the door, Margo, Luanne, and Tommy Thompson (former governor of Wisconsin) refused to answer. There were awkward moments in the building's lobby when Ian encountered Professor Papagoras, his doppelganger. Back to the drawing board...
We were unable to consider any strips with children, because there are no children in the Worthiverse. And, needless to say, no strip with a talking animal would be suitable. That limited the strips we could attempt to merge with.
A brief foray into a cross-syndicate deal was unsuccessful. While Doonesbury- to be renamed DoonesMary- had promise, it crashed and burned almost immediately when Dawn proved to be inappropriately attracted to the one-legged football coach known as B.D. What's more, we were unable to find a single character with whom Mary could be overbearing.
We tried Archie- Dawn got into a cat fight with Midge over Moose; Ian attempted a coup against Mr. Wetherbee's principalship; and Mary and Miss Grundy were engaged in a major biddy-off.
Finally, someone suggested that Blondie might be ripe for merger. The Bumsteads are nearly as old as Mary, and Dagwood's office could provide opportunities for Wilbur and Ian. Cookie and Alexander befriended Dawn, and they began to hang out at the Dithersburg Pier. Dagwood and Wilbur spent many an evening making sandwiches and eating them. Ian was named to the prestigious Bobby Gurns (minor Scots poet with odd facial expressions) Chair at Trump University Dithersburg Campus. Toby blossomed under the tutelage of the University's Fine Arts Clown Painting professor, Dr. Hunky McCutie. But what of Mary? Mary demanded a transfer to the Henry strip because she would get to do all the talking.
Dr. Jeff, Nola Wolvenson, and Jim were left to fend for themselves in Santa Royale, and were last seen at the pier, boarding Dr. Jeff's cabin cruiser, never to be seen again.
In news of other strips' mergers, Rex Morgan, Judge Parker, Gil Thorp, and Mark Trail combined into a new strip based on La Cage aux Follies (Birdcage).
UPDATE: We've just learned that the Dithers office is leaving the Blondie strip. In a dramatic move, they will become part of the new Glengarry Glen Ross animated series for Adult Swim on the Cartoon Network.
@meg at 11:16 AM, your post made me collapse at my desk! Inspired, truly inspired! (I do think Mary as "Ask Wendy" would fit right in with Funky Winkerbean. They could have an "I'm more depressing than you" contest.)
Of course everything sounds much better in the present participle.
“If all else is perishing, and he is remaining, I should still be continuing to be; and if all else is remaining, and he were being annihilated, the universe would be turning to a mighty stranger.”
@KitKat,
This is final exam week at lots of colleges. I, personally, am proctoring exams 12 hours a day thru Friday. I imagine Fauxprof is in a similar situation.
But the other two-thirds of our posting Triumvirate, you and Meg, are still here...
Dr. Jeff, Nola Wolvenson, and Jim went on to spawn a new civilization on a distant planet. (The cabin cruiser encountered a wormhole, and an apparently tainted supply of canned goods. They may have actually been taken by pirates and stowed in a warehouse in Belize. Jim's arm grew back, if that helps arrive at an accurate recounting.)
Shortly after Jim's arm grew back, he woke up one morning with a fully formed plan in his head how to escape back home so he could go see To Have and Have Not (but not the standard theatrical release but a rare archival print with Mary Worth in the Walter Brennan role.) Then Dawn started psycho texting Jim from her exile as a bit player in Blondie (or maybe in a closet at Walker-Browne Industries) and the plan flew out of Jim's head.
Dr. Jeff mainly waxes the cabin cruiser while Nola reads magazines on her iPad. Mary's name never comes up,
Wanders, that film was wonderful!Thanks for sharing that.
I thought the column was "ASK Wendy." What the heck did anyone ask that resulted in Mary's Jim-specific platitude?
Nothing. Mary just sat down at Computer and Bossy Monitor and started typing a bunch of stolen one-liners.
I guess everyone should be grateful she isn't writing a cookbook.
Nance- the column has been renamed Don't Ask Wendy- She'll Tell You What She Thinks You Need to Know.
I think she's confused and thinks the column is "Ask Windy," so she is being as windy as possible. It's a natural mistake.
Yeah, I'm guessing that "Don't Ask Wendy She'll Tell You What She Thinks You Need to Know" is also a trend for the disappearing print press. That way np's don't have to pay advice columnists. They can just recycle (as Mary does so beautifully)quotations their ciculation departments dredged up on the Internet during their lunch hours....
I'm just worried that our (local) Cleveland Plain Dealer, which is about to go to 3 days a week publication and probably to the great Online Scrap Heap next spring, might be reading these posts and actually consider combining comic strips in a fit of thrift. . . Thanks, Meg for giving them THAT idea (and me the best laugh of the day.)
@Mike: Which college out of curiousity? Mrs. Dave in Parma (a.k.a She of Eternal Patience) periodically teaches night classes at a local Cleveberg college (NDC).
@Meg: Chinbeard's singing voice naturally came to life in my head as a cross between Groundskeeper Willie from the Simpsons and Mike Myers as Fat Bastard from the 2nd Austin Powers.
Had the (mis)fortune of still beng awake after midnight, now Wednesday, and the platitudes continue. The 17th is coming.
Maybe the end of the plot will come as the Mayan's predicted on December 21! It couldn't possibly last that long (please don't take that as a challenge Ms. Moy).
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