Ah, yes, the dreaded cake carrying portion of the competition. Contestants are required to carry their creations across the balance beam of youthful ambition, through the tunnel of innocent dreams, and down the slippery slide of childhood innocence, all while avoiding the pit of burning old tires, and the low hanging branches of antediluvian abandon. I can see why Mary is nervous.
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John: "Here, Mary, carry the cake over to the judging area while I fill out these forms.
Mary? Hold on! Mary! Noooooooooo!"
I realize, as Tony so kindly pointed out yesterday, that both Mary and Mr. Dill are really, REALLY old, but carrying a family-dessert sized pinkcake shouldn't present that much of a problem.
Unless they've been working on scale-model pinkcakes, and the actual contest version is gargantuan, even bigger than the unicorn creation he made for the pool party--with a life-size candy coated Mother Nature/Mary Worth statue.
SO MUCH DRAMA!
Dawn is so caught up in it that she's dispensed with cutlery and is eating cake with her hands now.
I don't know how much longer I can go on with this one. Cake cake cake cake cake...
Fortunately, today I remembered my favorite-ever Lily Tomlin routine, and it's helping to restore my sanity:
"Please stop talking about that CAKE!!
Wait a minute. Who's going to be executed? John and Mary? Or the 3 ladies? Anyway, while we're waiting to find out, we can enjoy a nice game of Fork, Fork, Who's Got the Fork.
Rather than "making the recipe over and over again", Mary and John should choreograph and practice carrying the cake, if it's that much of a problem.
If my life ever comes down to fretting --with friends, out loud--over carrying a cake and making sure the statuette atop it of Mary Worth doesn't catch on the low hanging arena scoreboard (thus tipping the kick to the floor), someone please come and hold a pillow over my head whilst I sleep. Several of you live close; it would be the humane thing to do.
@Yahoonski - John and Mary will be excuted for submitting such an ugly cake.
Oh, now I get it. This is going to cake design in an "American Gladiator" format. Mary and John will have to negotiate an obstacle course between the work table and the display table.
This dangerous bit of geriatric choreography has me on the edge of my seat.
Or my wits, I can't be sure.
Could be a 'Wipeout' style event. I can see Mary running (or walking briskly with proper posture, as would be more appropriate) along a ledge to the judging station when a large padded fist pops out of the wall and knocks her into a large vat of frosting.
Play that over and over in your head; it's quite satisfying.
When clicking the link to see 'today's strip', does anyone else get the ad titled "5 signs you'll get Parkinson's" displayed above the ad?
The older gentlemen pictured in the ad does have a slightly bewildered look as if he's a regular reader of the strip and has recently been trying to understand where this plot is going.
Is that target marketing for just me, or for the general Mary Worth readership?
(should have read 'above the strip' not 'above the ad')
Dawn: Don't worry about carrying the cake, Mary. Jim will gladly give you a hand.
I so hope that the DillWorth team drops the cake on local TV - and it becomes an embarassing YourTubes viral video.
Brilliant captioning today, Wanders. I am thrilled with the direction of this story. Really, can it get much better than this? Well, I guess only if Mary starts worrying about whether she will be able to get her apron tied properly.
Dave in Parma: The visuals that gave me had me in tears! Thanks for that!
I hope this is foreshadowing about pinkcake's fate. I can almost picture the look on John Dill's face.
Thanks, Dave in Parma! It is very satisfying to think about Mary getting wiped out while carrying that hot pink monstrosity!
I suppose that would be the 'execution' mentioned in the first panel, too... it's all coming together...
Let's just hope that we don't have endless panels showing Mary and John practicing. I don't want to see either of them in lyrcra!
This. Makes. No. Sense. None! Mary is really worried about being portrayed as a miniature Mother Nature atop the pink creation. I mean really, when's the last time someone tried to immortalize her as a sugar-laden statuette?
John and Mary survey their inventory of rapidly decaying practice cakes. None of their friends will accept them (hey, guys, after all, it's not fruitcake!), the local soup kitchen has rejected them, Klown Kollege doesn't do cakes-in-the-face, and the cakes are not quite stale enough to use as construction material.
What to do?
They decide to use the cakes while practicing the all-important cake portage portion of the competition. Oh, what a fine idea!
First try: put it on a large platter and carry it between them. Disaster within 10 yards when Mary has to touch her face.
Second try: Mary holds cake while sitting in a wheelchair while John pushes. No, this is against competition rules.
Third attempt: Mary places cake in her bicycle basket. Hairs from Chester the dog become imbedded in the (pink) frosting. Ewww.
Fourth attempt: Just for the heck of it, John balances it on his head, an old hotel-manager room service technique. No.
Fifth try: Mary borrows a stretcher from Mountview. This almost works, but the height disparity between John and Mary works against it.
Sixth attempt: Gurney from Mountview. Once again, against the rules
.
Seventh try: No such thing as lucky seven, as Mary falls from the skateboard.
Eighth: Mary calls upon Jim for help. He becomes enraged when he perceives that she is making fun of him. Another smashed cake, this one on Mary's head.
Ninth: Would-be helper Wilbur eats the cake.
Tenth: Hobo absconds with the cake, but not before asking if it's okay.
Eleventh: Mary asks Bum Boat maitre d'/disc jockey Cake Diddy to help. His presentation is elegant- a silver dome covers the cake on a silver platter, but his foul language is deemed unacceptable by Miss Mary. "*&^%$#@! Ol' biddy- you ain't my mama."
Twelfth: Ian refuses to help because "I cannae carry sich a hunderwech w'out owerraxing masel and git a humphie-backit." John: "So that's a no?" Ian: "Aye."
Unlucky thirteenth: John and Mary both get humphie-backits.
Fourteenth: John decides to take up cookie-baking.
Dear @meg at 1:36 PM, I really, really needed a good laugh today. Thank you SO much for providing it!
I'm in favor of the carrying portion of the contest's being modelled after a Japanese game show.
Dawn and Toby have developed the Jill Kelley head tilt. Is there a military base near Santa Royale?
--Beagle Vet
I know I shouldn't have done it, but I googled 'pink cake with pink roses'.
Take a look and keep in mind, "Perfection is as perfection does!"
Why are they eating cake with cocktail forks?
This is scandalous! Moy and Giella do a storyline involving food and Wilbur is not in it!
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