I've been reading Washington: A Life
-- the Pulitzer Prize winning biography of George Washington. You know who also had an harsh mother? George Washington. And look what he accomplished. So, don't give up on Beth, yet, Tom. One day she might become First Lady.
Today's Full Strip
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The art intern is back! Today's artwork today is excruciatingly bad. Mary's black eye has returned, Beth is wearing her blue yarmulke, and the sliced Spam Squares are unappealing and pink.
There's so much to love in today's panels. Thanks, intern!
You know, Moy can take eons to unwind a story "arc", but suddenly, in a single Worth Day, Mary has decided that two strangers are meant for each other. She knows Nothing about either one of them, yet is determined to set them up.
Tom Harpman could be the guy who puts down the animals at the local shelter, and Beth Kinley could be the top donor to PETA. TH could be a gun enthusiast and Beth Kinley could be an NRA protestor.
All I do know is that, out of all of them in today's strip, TH is the prettiest.
I especially appreciate the lack of anything remotely asparagus-like so we are spared Elinor's riff on how much she hates it.
Beth should take up armed robbery as a new career. Giella has drawn her as so plain she'd be impossible to describe.
Gee, Wanders. This strip isn't the only thing caught in the past - Beth might someday be "First Lady?" Ah... how about "President?"
Beth used to have long hair which she always wore in two braids. One day, Elinor, in a fit of rage, grabbed her sewing shears and cut the braids off, which explains the limp, raggedy, bob. Someone else come up with a reason for those bangs--I doubt if Michelle Obama was the inspiration.
As to Mary's matchmaking skills, I have to agree with Nance. Any single female + any single male is way too simple to work.
There sure are a lot of flies in Mary Worth's apartment!
I think the reappearance of Mary's shiner is cause Elinor clocked her one about the asparagus.
Based on Sunday's panels, I discovered Elinor's concave cheeks are actually 1970's Elvis lambchop sideburns.
Is anyone allowed to use a fork in the Worth apartment?!
Could the matchmaking of Tom and Beth be the precursor to a match between Elinor and John Dill? Chef Pierre has to throw John out eventually.
Between the dress and her simian gob, the intern has made Mary look like Dr. Zira. Did Elinor tell her to "keep your vile asparagus away from me, you damned dirty ape."
If Mary really expects to play matchmaker with Beth and Tom, she should not have invited Elinor to this dinner. It would have been wiser to reveal Beth's "baggage" to Tom after they got to know one another better.
Tom changed his hair color because he had a presentiment that his new love would be wearing a shirt that matched. If this doesn't mean that Beth and Tom are made for each other, Mr. Allora will eat his fedora.
Karen Moy is sending strong signals that Elinor's relationship with Mr. Kinley went wrong. Perhaps he did what Gina's father did - went out for cigarettes and never came back.
The asparagus turned into pork sausages. Unless that's what passes for vegetables in Mary's cuisine.
@Nance: she knows everything about them: that they're both single. And they both failed to decline her dinner invite. And that if she can keep occupied pairing others, Dr. Jeff won't be able to keep proposing to her.
To Tom Harpman: if girls grow up like the mommas: run.
(I'm very colon-y today apparently: Could be the kelk.
What Beth meant to say was:
"It's a Bromance. It's a modern take on Shakespeare. I've loosely based the characters on the Mary (as Gertrude), the Professor (Polonius), Wilbur (Hamlet), and his ham sandwich. Chin Napkin also appears in a cameo as an ascot. We've only moved here for more material so I can complete the trilogy."
The "asparagus salad" plates must have already been cleared away. We have been spared the scene of Elinor grousing about the whatever other side option Mary came up with: "Oh fine, sit there in front of me eating your vile salad, the smell of which is enough to make me gag, while I chew on this parboiled kelk pilaf!"
"So I cured Tom with some of my soup. Do you like soup, Beth?"
"Soup is a waste of time and no daughter of mine is going to eat soup! Now where's that lamb?!"
"It's right here. Shall I serve you a slice?"
"You mean that congealed mess in the loaf pan is lamb 'roast'? How did you roast it, in a pressure cooker?"
"Yes, Mary's soup was just what I needed to get back on my feet."
"Nobody's talking to you, Harpman. If I see any traces of soup anywhere near our apartment, there's gonna be trouble, Mrs. Worth!"
"But I was just..."
"You were just nothing, Harpman. Don't you think I see what's going on here? Soup, asparagus. What kind of mind control scheme are you running here? I've rescued my daughter from more than enough dangerous cults over the years to be able to spot another one!"
Whatever she's serving, Mary apparently doesn't intend to eat any of it, as she has not provided herself with any silverware.
She's probably put some of Granny Clampett's love potion in there. I hope it's in the asparagus, so Elinor doesn't get any.
I was hoping that Chin Napkin would put in an appearance but those are obviously paper throw aways that noone even wants to use. How disappointing that Mary would resort to paper.
Beth missed the opportunity to answer Tom's question with "It's about 300 pages."
Wait All!! That is NOT asparagus on Beth or Elinor's plates; it is some sort of extra large pea. Or frog parts?
I think Mama Kinley is channeling Moe Howard... nice hair!
heydave- just watch out for MoeMoe Kinley when she starts the finger-pointing again! (and don't choose two or pull one, whatever you do)
Mystery green round veg is Brussels sprouts.
My guess is that the green things on the plates are globs of mint jelly. Looks like Beth skipped the roast and ate only jelly. Is she a vegetarian or does she just have a sweet tooth?
Go on, Mary, ask them if that glass is half-full or half-empty.
I double-dog dare you!
I also just finished a biography of Washington, and his mom was a BEAST to him all his life! Elinor is probably a good portrait.
Oh wait, I read that very SAME biography. Sorry, should have said SPOILER ALERT, Mary Washington is a beast to him all his life. Also, George eventually dies.
@pq: thanks a lot; now I don't need to finish the Washington book. I might as well start the Lincoln biography now and hope that no one spoils the ending there.
Mary has made enough lamb wraps to feed a freakin' army! No wonder she said, "I hope you're hungry!" when Elinor and Beth first arrived. Now Mary will have lamb leftovers for WEEKS because no one is going to want to take those things home. Apparently she learned nothing from her excessive Salmon squares episode.
@Dave: SPOILER ALERT, Lincoln resigns as president and joins a traveling rodeo.
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