Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Mary Worth 1,563

...And Mary is dreaming of one more young woman to add to the stable of disciples who have forsaken their own mothers and turned to follow Mary Worth: Toby, Dawn, Gina, Vera, Adrian, Lynn, Delilah, Liza, etc., etc.

Today's Full Strip

47 comments:

Dave in Parma said...

"...And Mary is dreaming of one more young woman to add to the stable of disciples who have forsaken their own mothers and turned to follow Mary Worth: Toby, Dawn, Gina, Vera, Adrian, Lynn, Delilah, Liza, etc., etc."


Maybe the Feds will storm Charterstone in a dramatic bloody, flaming, Branch Davidian-esque effort to free the aforementioned from the grips of Mary. if nothing else it would put Uncle Joe's comic experience to better use.

Nance said...

Sometimes I feel like I need to be under the influence of...something in order to "follow" this strip.

The time frame is so goofy. How much time elapsed between the Kinleys moving in and the dinner party? Between the dinner party and this latest exercise/gossip session with Toby?

WHY CAN'T I JUST SUSPEND MY DISBELIEF AND PLAY ALONG LIKE EVERYONE ELSE?

heydave said...

What is with Mary's Official Plotting and Prodding Finger pose?

Thorpnotized said...

Mary's attempt to disguise her double-fingered nose pick as a contemplative pose has failed.

I'm glad to see the colored version of today's strip online, as figuring out the perspective of the black-and-white one in the paper was so confusing. Is Giella channeling M.C. Escher?

birdie said...

The flock of bats around Mary's head indicate that she has clearly joined the dark side, in return for more meddling powers.

Can Elinor alone fight such evil? Was this why she was called to Charterstone?

Keep strong, Elinor!

KitKat said...

I hope that whatever Beth is reaching for falls out of the cupboard, konks her on the head, and knocks her out. When she regains consciousness, maybe she will come to her senses and free herself from both the controlling Elinor and the meddlesome Mary. And, as a bonus, perhaps she will realize her need for a new hairstyle, wardrobe, and glasses.

fauxprof said...

Ah, the clasped-hand, steepled forefinger double tandem face touch! That carries a degree of difficulty equivalent to a triple toe loop in figure skating. Mary must be practicing for the Olympic Meddling Trials.

Lost in the Worthiverse said...

@Nance, Does it look like we're playing along? Take a deep breath and find something to mock. How about Mary wearing a collared shirt to 'work out' (whatever that may be)? Joe's backgrounds are always good for a laugh. What exactly are those black fans supposed to be?

Relax and enjoy. You're in the right place!!

meg said...

Hi, Tom, it's me, Beth...Beth Kinley...we met at Mary Worth's... Yes, the one with the mother...I was hoping we could get together...oh, that's too bad...well, maybe when your cold is better and you're back from your business trip to Tijuana...and after you meet with your divorce lawyer...WHADDYA MEAN? After my mother's DEAD?... Okay, sounds good to me. Ciao.

NonnyMus said...

Hi, Tom, it's me, Beth...Beth Kinley...we met at Mary Worth's... Yes, the one with the mother...I was hoping we could get together... Sure... The Lido? No, I've never been there... What do you mean, Tuesdays are 'Ladies Night', if you know what I mean? Ladies Night is when women get half-priced drinks, right?... Great! Meet you at 8:00 on Tuesday night then!

KitKat said...

Special note to Beth Kinley: You may want to consider one of these hairstyles:

http://newsfeed.time.com/2013/02/25/these-are-north-koreas-28-state-approved-hairstyles/

Anonymous said...

Let the brainwashing begin!

meg said...

Thanks, KitKat, but I'll stick with my original inspiration.
Beth

http://tinyurl.com/cpeej4v

Vicki said...

The smog problem must be getting pretty bad in Santa Royale! They're downwind from that nasty Goleta, and it's just hard to catch your breath anymore!

I'm thinking Mary needs to get a dust mask. The two-fingers-up your-nose, breathe-through-your mouth-technique is not fooling her lungs one bit.

Link3220 said...

Oh that Beth, what a multitasker. Talking to her future husband and reaching for a gun to kill her mother, at the same time!

La Cieca said...

"Forgive me, dear, but this conversation is so horrifically boring that I'm playing 'this is the church, this is the steeple' to keep myself awake, and, frankly, it's not working."

Dave in Parma said...

Thursday, while Tom Harpman drinks his regular water at 'Diner', Beth gets in her morning exercise doing military press with the kitchen cabinetry....

KitKat said...

Does Santa Royale have only one museum? "We'll see the art exhibit this weekend, then go back next weekend for the dinosaur exhibit, then go back the weekend after that for the Santa Royale pioneers exhibit..."

JustSayin' said...

Oh, I just hope Elinor finds a way to "chaperone" this date! Wouldn't that be FUN!?!

"Art? Bah humbug! Art is a waste of time!"

Gina said...

Beth can't go on a date. That cabinet will fall down if she's not there to hold it up.

Anonymous said...

Mary grows her cult following in the Sisterhood of the Know-It-All. Today the Charterstone, tomorrow...the world.

Dave in Parma said...

Friday: well played Elinor. Well played.

meg said...

Buzz Buzz!!

Beth: Hello, Mary.
Mary: Hello, Beth, hello, Elinor. I just came to warn you not to eat the leftover lamb! It's gone off. I was sick to my stomach all night last night. Elinor? You look pale- could it be the lamb?

(Mary had a little lamb,
And then she had some more.
The only place that Mary went
Was through the bathroom door.)

Link3220 said...

Isn't it enough that Elinor's whole face is dropping down to her chin? Does she have to pretend to faint, too?

Yahoonski said...

Am I the only one who worries about Wanders when there's no daily update? I hope there's nothing amiss.

JustSayin' said...

@Yahoonski--I was thinking the same thing. Maybe it's a Spring Break break??

Dave in Parma said...

Waiting for Jesus to arise on the third day perhaps (Mary at his right hand)?

Dave in Parma said...

"Someone get me some regular water! Stat!"

Anonymous said...

Next: Mary drops by the Kinley's to say hello, hears about Elinor's latest "ailment" and offers to watch over her while Beth scrambles off to her date with hunky Tom.

Elinor screams to herself within the dark cave that is what's left of her soul: "Curses! Foiled again! Damn you Mary Worth!!"

fauxprof said...

Instead of Mary fortuitously dropping by, I'd rather see Beth being proactive and calling Mary to mommy-sit. That would infuriate Elinor even more, and give Mary a chance for a secondary meddle, now that her matchmaking shows signs of success.

I hope the whole Wanders family is off on the niftiest of Spring Break trips, having a wonderful time!

Dave In Parma said...

Is that Mr. Tro-lo-lo singing in the background of the VW Beetle commercial?!

meg said...

Love Elinor's self-satisfied fist pump- all she needs is a "YESSSSS!" balloon.

Anonymous said...

ATTN: Nance! The problem isn't that you can't "suspend disbelief"-Good Lord-there's nothing remotely believable about this strip! It's just not your type of humor. I love this strip because it is so hilariously "unbelievable"-nothing in this strip could happen in the real world. For example, the ugly girl's mom is going to fake a heart attack. In the real world when people try to manipulate you like that you call their bluff and dial 911.After that,nothing can prevent at least an unpleasant exam,or, if you push hard enough,a day's wait in the ER on a gurny while you're ignored all day. The old broad wouldn't need many of those to drop the "heart attack" trick. Your "problem" is that this is all so absurd that it isn't funny to you. That's just personal preference. Got to Get Fuzzy or,my favorite, Non Sequitor (sp.) Nothing wrong with that.

Anonymous said...

@Anonymous,

Although I'm shocked I'm defending a MW plot, I'm going to disagree with you. There are countless examples of children being manipulated by their parents to suspend their lives. It's part of a much longer pattern, of course. The children never grow up, assert independence and leave.

There is no shortage of children who are brainwashed enough/dumb enough/wimpy enough not to call the parent's bluff. Just as there is no shortage of abused spouses and children who hang on wa-a-a-a-aay too long.

So, the Beth and Elinor plot is believable. The unbelievable plot is that Mary Worth would be matchmaking shortly after new neighbors move in instead of meddling in the moving in process more than calling the groundskeeper/caretaker/handyman/former beau.

Such a meddler would be in that apartment telling them where to put what and making snippy comments about their taste!

kathyo said...

The only twist that would make this plot remotely believable is if Beth stands to inherit a HUGE fortune when Elinor finally kicks off. She doesn't want to alienate her mother but she won't call 9-1-1either. She's thinking "just die already."

Euclidmary said...

All this Beth/Elinor relationship speculating is interesting, but there is something more vitally important we need to discuss. What in heck is Tom wearing? Is it a white collared shirt under a short sleeve sweater? He was going to wear this on their first date?

NonnyMus said...

@Euclidmary,

Tome's outfit is just another hint that he's a friend of Dorothy's more than he's a friend of Mary's!

(Another hint is his home decor - aqua, pink and tchotkes! Although I admit that could just be that 6th grade colorist at it again...).

Dave in Parma said...

Is Beth really interested in Tom Harpman? Maybe Tom Harp man should check the crystal ball on his lamp.

Peggy Olson said...

Ms. Moy has a serious issue with parents. I'd love to listen in on her therapy sessions.

Here are just a few examples of her Horrible Parenting storylines:
* Vigilante Dad
* Warm and Fuzzy Feeling's Dad
* Emily Smith's irresponsible parents from Goleta
* Wilbur's almost son's mother
* Wilbur and Dawn - oh, let's not even go there!
* Adrian and Drew's mother (What ever happened to Mrs. Cory and why don't they ever mention her?)

Link3220 said...

For someone "very much into his work", Tom Harpman sure has been spending a lot of time at home, or at Diner, lately. Maybe he's the new restaurant reviewer for the Santa Royale Daily News? If he is, we'll see him soon sitting at a booth at the Bum Boat, the only other eatery in town. Or did he quit his job so he could spend his time dating Beth?

fauxprof said...

Judging by those bulging biceps in today's April Fool strip, Tom's job is...Superhero! Under that mild-mannered exterior, Tom is secretly the amazing HARPMAN, lulling criminals to a sleepy daze with his heavenly music. His Achilles' heel is a susceptibility to head colds. Luckily, Mary is there with the anti-kryptonite, chicken soup.

(Sorry, spring break is over and I have to go back to school today, and I'm feeling rather silly.)

Mary said...

Monday: Why is Beth eating her kitchen sponge?

KitKat said...

I realize I'm overthinking this, but what does Tom find attractive about Beth, other than she's an available woman? I'd like to know more about the first Mrs. Harpman, who likely had good reasons to dump this nebbish. And pray tell, what is the bowl of fuzzy green stuff in front of Beth? A plant, her lunch, or Play-Doh?

JustSayin' said...

@KitKat--maybe Tom is enamored with hair helmets? Or the thought that someone with a mother like Elinor would be so grateful to find someone to 'take her away' from that life that she'd put up with anything from him or never leave him?!?

NonnyMus said...

Silly Worthiversians, Tom is attracted to Beth because he is generic 'young' man and she is generic 'young' woman!

It's just that simple.

meg said...

The news of Tom and Beth's broken date sets off a frantic round of text messaging within the Charterstone community.

"Mary, OMG! Mthr sic, hd to brk dte wit TH! Cnnt stp cryng! ILT so much!"

"Mary, OMG! BK brk dte wit me! Wanna die! Worst day ever!"

"Toby, OMG! Fix-up for TH and BK derailed! EK fake sick!"

"Wilbur, OMG! Date fail! Can't write AW today!"

"Dawn, go to Mary's stat! Hlp wit AW!"

"Jim, need a hand here. No, no, that's not what it sounds like! Pls don't be angry!"

"Ian, OMG! BK brk dte wit TH! MW nds reassurance that her meddling skills are intact!"

"Wumman, Ah hae tauld ye ne'er tae caa me at wark! An' as fur 'at auld hen Mary Worth, Ah hae nae interest in 'er problems!"

Link3220 said...

I can't wait for tomorrow, to see what outfit Tom Harpman plans to wear for 1:15-1:30 of his day. And why did he close the curtains so fast after the call from Beth? Is KMoy going to turn this storyline into a lecture about auto-erotic asphyxiation?