Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Mary Worth 1,603

So, did the EMT's hook their patient up to an intravenous anticoagulant even though she registered no abnormal vital signs and was only pretending to be unconscious? Or did they just shove some aspirin down her gullet? Because I believe one of those blood thinners would be legal for them to administer, and the other one wouldn't.

Today's Full Strip

35 comments:

Dave in Parma said...

"Your mother was fine and faking it until the EMTs arrived, scared her, and her blood began to coagulate, causing a heart attack. She's ok now, but no stress. make sure she avoids knocking boots."

Mary said...

What kind of hospital can't see through an old lady's fake symptoms? Later today I have a meeting next door to one of Pittsburgh's flagship hospitals. I think I walk into the ER, claim I have a broken arm, and see if they x-ray me.

Mary said...

make that "I'll walk into the ER." I was so excited about feigning illness that I forgot a few letters. Quick! Get me an anti-coagulant!

JustSayin' said...

This is just so stupid I can barely stand to even think about a snarky comment but here goes anyway:

The BEST solution to Beth's problem: have TomDear come to the hospital and the two of them announce they're getting married. That should finish off the old bat once and for all.

KitKat said...

Elinor is carrying her Munchausen's Syndrome to new heights. http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/munchausen-syndrome/DS00965

Of course, fooling a doctor at Mountview Hospital doesn't take much. After all, Mountview employs Dr. Adrian Corey Hewlett, who got her medical degree from the Internets.

Ah, the ubiquitous Mountview doors with windows, just like the ones at Diner!

Nance said...

The big question here is, will KM remember that BethDear has no idea that the Marie & Elinor conversation took place? Or will she automatically have BethDear tell TomHarpman, "I can't see you any more. Our love is too much of a strain on Mother"?

What a jacked-up Hoke-A-Rama this storyline continues to be.

Chester the Dog said...

Ahhh the wonders of generic asprin!!

Only the best at Mountview!

birdie said...

Aside from the randomly changing perspective of everyday life, the scariest thing about the worthiverse is its medical system.

Remember when Mary had to go to Vietnam (or wherever it was) and tell the doctors to try a different antibiotic on Dr. Jeff because the first one wasn't working?

I'm perfectly willing to believe the medical profession was willing to use blood thinners on a phony patient. In real life, this would have a synergistic effect on at least one of her many everyday meds, but not in the worthiverse.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

The problem and our joy is that Moy can't carry a coherent thought from one day to the next. I just love the notion that blood thinners and absence of stress is the prescription for her feigned collapse.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Jeff could provide some bedside service, Dawn could counsel Elinor, and Mary could deliver an old encyclopedia volume for Elinor to read.

Anonymous said...

Mary: Instead of complaining of a "broken arm" do this: walk in holding your head in your hands & tell the Triage RN "I never get headaches & right now I'm having the worst headache of my life." That should get you a little attention.

Thorpnotized said...

I hope Elinor is admitted to the hospital, and Mary discovers she's there while pushing her book cart around the halls. Or maybe Beth will run into Dawn in the cafeteria.

phoebes in santa fe said...

Doesn't the generic doctor look like the cake-guy in the last, lame story?

KitKat said...

@phoebes in santa fe at 11:58 AM, I thought that doctor remindded me of someone - a somewhat younger, somewhat less bald John Dill. What happened to his white coat with "Dr. Phil Dill" embroidered on the front?

fauxprof said...

So the EMTs discover a patient with normal vital signs, feigning unconsciousness, and go ahead and administer blood thinners in the absence of any kind of differential diagnosis? Lord deliver us all from the Santa Royale healthcare system, not to mention from Moy's clumsy plotting.

Robin in DC said...

In a surprising twist, Beth runs off with Dr. Blue Mustache who already knows how to cook carrots.

Anonymous said...

Damn Obamacare.

Anonymous said...

Elinor's attack, I'm betting, was real but induced through having twiddled with her medications. She has enough to produce any sort of effect she wants and probably knows all the antidotes to being "stricken."

Anonymous said...

Wow, is she really that good an actress to convince them to give her tPA? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tissue_plasminogen_activator
Hopefully she develops agonizing internal bleeding as a complication

peggy olson said...

Anonymous, your "Damn Obamacare" comment made me spit my regular water!

I'm sure Elinor has attended senior citizen rallies, shouting "Keep government away from my health care - and don't touch my Medicare."

Anonymous said...

Um....yeah. I can think of three "clot-reducing" drugs off the top of my paramedic head.

Aspirin: doesn't actually reduce clots that are already there, just makes platelets less able to clump. This drug is carried on most ambulances, BUT it must be given to an awake patient who is able to chew and swallow it. If Elinor were unconscious, she would not have received this drug.

Heparin: doesn't have any effect on clots that are already there, but helps reduce the formation of new ones. No ambulances that I know of carry this drug.

tPA: This IS a clot-busting drug. It is NEVER given by EMTs. It can be given to a stroke victim AFTER s/he had a CT scan, and then ONLY within a certain time frame and ONLY if the patient has had an ischemic stroke.

I agree with JustSayin'. Time to announce the engagement!

--Beagle Vet

fauxprof said...

Thursday.

Enough, already. We need Deus ex Machina Mary to appear, wheeling her cartload of Encyclopedia Britannica volumes (1911 edition) to have a heart-to-heart with Elinor. While she's at it, Tom and Beth can repair to the cafeteria and begin a lengthy double-date with Dawn and one-armed Tom.

Meanwhile, an AMA swat team is descending on Mountview to shut things down before any more patients are criminally misdiagnosed.

KitKat said...

I'm with fauxprof - we know that Mary will toss some cliches (along with those encyclopedia volumes), prompting Elinor to accept Tom into the Kinley family fold, so let's get on with it already!

Notice Beth's amazing growth spurt between panels. And, how thoughtful of Tom to put on a blue blazer before dashing to Mountview.

Thorpnotized said...

So the clot-reducing drugs given to Elinor in the ambulance saved her life. She's good - being able to will herself into an actual medical emergency. She'll pull out all the stops when she is informed about "Tometh".

[What happened to the PYNAR numeric images? I miss the challenge of trying to figure out what they were.]

Anonymous said...

You know, maybe Elinor is so good that the she herself is the blue-mustached doctor in disguise. The meeting with Beth is in the hospital lounge area. Elinor could have been diagnosed, treated, determined ok, and released by the hospital hours earlier, as far as Beth knows. This "doctor" could be anybody.

"Ah, yes, -- harumph -- Elinor was stricken, but with anti-coagulant medication is doing better, -- mumble mumble. Remember that in the future she should avoid all possible StressMan".

Just sayin'.

heydave said...

This plot, as has been pointed out, is so blindingly stupid that it nearly defies snark. But nice snarking anyway guys! :)

Meanwhile, I'm going to focus on that blue moustache... I love the way it changes shape in response to the owner's intent and emotions! He (It) was really scrunching into Serious Mode when Doc said that stress admonition!

JustSayin' said...

Advice for BethDear + TomDear:
Break the news of your love-of-a-lifetime relationship to Elinor/Skelinor while she's still in the hospital so they can infuse her with those miracle anticoagulant meds when she suffers a stress-induced relapse.

Done and done!

Dave in Parma said...

First off: that's what she said.

Secondly: way to tell Tom Harpman that dating him is stressful Beth.

Tony said...

"Your mother will be fine if she avoids stressful situations. Oh, and she may occasionally be a bit irritable. Not to worry though -- that's just caused by the anti-coagulants."

Chester the Dog said...

Beth: (at Mountview front desk) Hello, I'm looking for my mother.

Third grader manning desk: What does she look like?

Beth: Old, wrinkled, way out of touch with reality.

Third grader manning desk: Sorry, Mary Worth isn't volunteering today.

RKoloda said...


Obviously this last episode is too good not for us to chit chat on.

OK here goes, also consider what do you think will happen vs. What would you like to see happen.

My scenarios (and I know you can top them)

1. Tom rushes to the hospital, and has a fatal car accident --and they transplant his heart into the old lady.

2. She really has a heart attack, and makes a death bed confession that her husband did not really walk out on her, but she killed him and buried his body in the wall.

3. She really has a heart attack, and they put her in the hospital, and she gets bedsores and then MSRA staph

4. she is fatally attacked in the hospital by an escaped mental patient

5. Beth has to make the decision to pull the plug. Tom flips the coin.

6. a Psychiatrist examines her, and makes the diagnosis that she is a super hypochondriac, and commits her to a mental asylum.

7. Her DNA matches that of an escaped serial killer

8. SHe goes to the bright light and Jesus tells her to go to hell.

9. She is given a prescription for medical marijuana, and they overmedicate her.

Sandi Ego said...

RKoloda, FTW! Thanks for the laughs.

Anonymous said...

You know one of the best ways to tell if a patient is faking unconsciousness?

Lift their arm up over their face and drop it. If the patient is truly unconscious, their arm will just flop onto their face. But if they're faking, unless they're really good, they'll tense or move their arm.

--Beagle Vet

Dartpaw86 said...

Where have I seen this storyline before…? Girl falls in love, evil parental figure doesn’t approve, meddling old person to save the day.
Though here everyone is named Dopey.

birdie said...

While their at the hospital, perhaps Beth could ask a doctor to reattach her left hand to her left arm where it belongs. It seems to have wandered over to her right arm.