Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Mary Worth 1,701

You haven't aged a day since the last time I saw you which was, I don't know when... you've always looked old, though, Dear Old Shelly Cohen.

Today's Full Strip


Dave in Parma said...

"You haven't aged" -- I don't think that was a compliment, Elinor, er Aunt May, er Shelly.

That must be one of the new eco friendly NYC taxis in the background of panel 1: boxy, but efficient. I particularly like how the 'taxi' sign is angled to the sidewalk for improved visibility.

So what's next?--a drive-by shooting that sends Mary and Shelly (Mary Shelley.....Frankenstein?!) to the hospital in a deformed ambulance to sit by a hi-fi while her personal physician is in Vietnam. How exciting! (so probably not)

KitKat said...

Dear Old Shelly: "Ha ha...You're too kind! Okay, let's stop lying to each other and have some grub. And watch it going up these deteriorating steps, Mary."

meg said...

Unless Shelly and Elinor were separated at birth, I don't want this story to continue.

Nance said...

How exciting! DO Shelly has prepared lunch already! Do you think it is lamb roast, asparagus, and plain water? Do you think Mary's sizeable amount of luggage will be handled by the complex's employee, Mr. Mallora? And, once inside, will we see some ants, floor-length draperies (maybe orange), green books in the kitchen, and a small urn containing the ashes of a neighbor's wife, Mrs. Gill. I can't wait!

heydave said...

Mary: Ever since I switched my medications, everyone started to look the same to me.

Shelly: Ever since I switched my medications, I started to look like other old biddies.

GiveMeACornedBeefOnRye said...

That Shelly needs to get some meat on her bones. She looks emaciated. Lunch will be a washed and peeled carrot with a side of a couple sprigs of parsley. Dessert will be a diced prune.

meg said...

Nance: this is New York. If there are insects walking around the Cohen pad, they will be (don't mention this to anyone) cockroaches.

Anonymous said...

Any guesses as to what Shelly's problem is that Mary has to fix? Love, finances, internet troubles?

Pete Farmer said...

"I have lunch all prepared!" (cue Wilbur, stage right)

Thorpnotized said...

I've posted my revised version of today's strip on Facebook, if anyone is interested. Search for my alter ego "Hodces Dirchnic".

Muscato said...

Apparently the part of dear ol' Shelly Cohen will be played by the corpse of Thelma Ritter. We can only hope that means that Undead Bette Davis will show up at some point...

Gina said...

Mary! So good to see you! You look terrific! Let's stand here and play "London Bridge Is Falling Down" in the middle of the street!

meg said...

Mary: Am I hungry? of course not! After all, I left Santa Royale about 10 hours ago, and the breakfast and lunch on the plane was just fabulous. There was a cold bagel with jelly, a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese, and a whole bag of pretzels. Well, maybe just a sandwich with extra mustard.

meg said...

It's the night of the dinner at which Mary Worth is to be thanked. And oh, yes, at which Shelly Cohen is to be honored.

The two old friends have spent the last week reminiscing. "Remember when what's-her-name did that thing?" Hahahahha! "And when you thought that somebody was going to do something?" Hahahhahah! "But what about that time when we went to that place and saw somebody doing something?" Hahahhahah! Ah, good times.... "Now who are you again, dear?" "I'm Mary Worth. And you?" "I'm dear old Shelly Cohen!" "Oh, of course...."

After Shelly departs, wearing a smart Claire McCardell dress that Mary recalled from her days as Shelly's neighbor, Mary gets dressed. Shelly's plan is that she will arrive early and knock back a few Old Fashioneds at the bar with some of her New York friends. Mary's plan is that she will arrive when everyone else is seated, so that all eyes will be on her, wearing a fabulous pantsuit in a lovely shade of salmon.

Mary leaves the apartment and attempts to hail a cab, but not one will stop to pick her up. She thinks, "Oh, it's usually so easy to get a cab on Park Avenue on a rainy Saturday night...." (Mary does not know that Manhattan cab drivers have been terrorized by a robber in recent weeks, a robber who disguises himself as a little old white-haired lady in a salmon pantsuit.)

Mary makes her way to the Waldorf on foot, arriving in the Grand Ballroom just as the gala dinner begins. The room is filled with large round tables, decorated with orchids, roses and ferns, sparkling white cloths, and shining crystal and silver. Mary is seated at a card table next to the service entrance.

Shelly, far at the front of the room, rises to speak. "Ladies and gentlemen, I am honored to be honored for my work in assisting homeless teenage girls grow into homeless women. But I have been helped along the way by someone wonderful."

Mary tenses at her table- this will be her moment.

Shelly: " I could have never succeeded without the advice and counsel of Ma-"

Mary leaps to her feet, eyes glittering, hands clasped above her head.

"-ury Wolf, who donated one million dollars to the program."

Audience applauds wildly, Mary sits down.

Shelly continues: " And where would I be without the sage wisdom offered by M-"

Mary pops up again, smiling broadly.

"-urray Wirtz, who was by my side as we made history.

Audience applauds wildly, Mary sits down.

Shelly: "And through it all, my very dear friend, M-"

Mary rises with dignity, a steely smile splitting her face.

"-oira Weiss, who was always there for me."

Audience cheers, Mary sits down.

Shelly: "And I mustn't forget the wisest person I know, who always kept me grounded, M-"

Mary stays put.

"-orty Wank."

Audience applauds. Mary looks around for the exit.

Shelly: And last, but not least, the woman who loaned me a nickel to use the payphone to call Girls Without Homes to offer my services- Mary Worth!"

Audience: crickets.

Mary: zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Mary's Cranberry Mothballs said...

Oh my... Shelly is HIDEOUS. I'm getting a Planet of the Apes vibe off of her. Is the taxi cab a two door coupe?! How can that be practical?

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Dear Old Shelly Cohen looks exactly like a cross between Mary Worth and Elinor Kinley. I'm sensing shenanigans were in play!

Also, I have this wonderful sense of promise when I see the beginning of this story--new location, new character, new potential problems--I'm excited to see how interesting this will get! ... Oh, well, who am I kidding?


Sandi Ego said...