Tuesday, May 27, 2014

Mary Worth 1821

It may seem strange, but Iris and Tommy have the same shared memory of a 1950's prisoner bropping the floor under the menacing glare of an armed guard who insists on tracking his dirty shoes across the wet floor. Clearly, they both hate housekeeping.

I feel an obligation to point out this little gem in the lower corner of panel one:

Be careful. It might be some kind of phishing scam. If Mary Worth has taught me anything, it is that the Internet is not to be trusted.

Today's Full Strip


KitKat said...

In tomorrow's strip, I hope we see Jerry aiming a Super Soaker at Tommy as Tommy mops the floors.

meg said...

"Say hello to my giant friend, Tommy."

(my wf: vices no use"

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

I'm not sure, but being a mule for jerry's family may turn out to be worse.

WakeMeUpWhenItsOver said...

Again with that bizarre mop/broom hybrid thing... And how poor of a shot IS that guard that he has to stand so close to the prisoner with his shotgun?!? I see inmates out doing road work in suburbia with armed guards standing further away than this dude!

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Thanks for the link to Karen Moy's Mary Worth blog, Wanders! The most recent post details Mary's (often sexual) adventures in other strips. Sometimes she even uses profanity. Her life in other strips seems to be just a smidge more exciting than it is in her own strip. Maybe it's time for Mary to talk about all of her doings with Toby Cameron!

meg said...

Santa Royale Whig Herald

Santa Royale Foodies are Seeing Double!

It has long been felt that Santa Royale is a dining mecca, and at the top of the food heap, there has always been the Big Three: The Bum Boat, Bobby's Hotel's Restaurant, and Jerry's Sandwich Shop.

And now one of the Big Three has launched a major food war against another. Starting yesterday, The Bum Boat has featured and heavily promoted their new sandwich menu, featuring "double super secret special sandwich sauce," and sammie-loving Santa Royaleans have been flocking to the Boat. A long line were waiting to be seated for dinner last evening, and comments from the crowd would appear to be bad news for the Jerry establishment. "Best sandwich ever", "exquisite sauce", "full bar", "cloth napkins", "cleaner bathrooms"... And the list goes on. What's next for the long-established Jerry standalone location?

In an exclusive interview with Jerry Bono, the owner of Jerry's Sandwich Shop (100 ingredients and 50 different sandwich rolls available for your choice at all times. Extra mustard. Try Our Jerry Cola.), vowed to fight the Bum Boat in a scorched-bun fashion. "We shall defend our shop, whatever the cost/benefit analysis may be, we shall fight them on the grills, we shall fight them on the steam tables, we shall fight them on the condiment rack, and we will never, never, never, never give up. In the meantime, come on down to Jerry's for our buy two, get one free special."

Later that week:

Sandwich Wars Continue

The vicious battle over sandwich-munching customers continues in Santa Royale. Jerry's buy two, get one free special has swung the momentum in his direction for the moment. But the Bum Boat establishment has a few tricks up its natty white sleeves. They've added a tuna casserole burger to their menu, and a Santa Royale middle school music teacher will entertain on the harmonium during Happy Hour.

Meanwhile, back in Jerry's office:

Jerry: Tommy! Get in here!

Tommy: Yes, Don Jerry. How may I serve you?

Jerry: We've got to find out the recipe for the Bum Boat secret sauce. Only you can find out for us. Here, eat a cup of Jerry's sauce so you'll know what to expect.

Tommy: OK, I ate the cup of sauce, and it tasted just like...mustard, with extra mustard.

Jerry: Get over to the Bum Boat and get a couple of sandwiches. Eat them there, then take two more home to eat for dinner.


Iris: Are you ready for dinner, Tommy?

Tommy: No, mom, Mr. Jerry says I have to eat two sandwiches for dinner.

Iris: Nonsense! I'll give these sandwiches to Wilbur, and you and I will eat the lamb chops I've cooked.

Tommy: !!!!!!!!

Later as Tommy and Iris watch tv:

James Cagney: Top of the world, Ma! Top of the world!

"TCM must interrupt this showing of White Heat to bring you this important message from Santa Royale. We are at the Charterstone Condominiums awaiting a statement from Wilbur Weston, free-lance writer and bon vivant. Here's Wilbur Weston."

Wilbur appears as cameras flash and reporters shout questions.

"I've just uncovered some valuable information that the people of Santa Royale are entitled to know. This evening, I ate two sandwiches from the Bum Boat. The bread was fresh, the lettuce was crisp,the tomatoes juicy, and the ingredients first rate. But the sauce, the so-called double super secret sandwich sauce, is .....Mustard, People! The super secret sauce is mustard, people! Bum Boat has stolen Jerry's secret recipe. Mwahahahahaha," and Wilbur walks off, sobbing and laughing alternately.

Back at Jerry's:

Jerry: Young Tom! How did Bum Boat get my sauce recipe?

Tom: Well, Wilbur told Mary Worth, and Mary told my mom, and my mom must have mentioned it to someone at the Bum Boat.

Jerry: Bring me the head of Don Wilbur and you will be a made man.

Tommy: Do I still have to mop the toilets?

Anonymous said...

"Mop or I'll shoot!!"

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

@meg: I love it! Wilbur Weston as "bon vivant" was particularly priceless! Bravo! Oh, and ... LOL!

Yahoonski said...

Let us recognize Anonymous's "Mop or I'll shoot" as the classic it is!