Friday, July 11, 2014

Mary Worth 1849

Mountview Hospital keeps getting crazier and crazier. Mary posing as a nurse in novelty glasses and a rubber nose? Dr. Kapuht? Don't laugh, though... my daughter's podiatrist is Dr. Footer, and one of my neck surgeons is Dr. Mesick.

Speaking of my surgeons, thank you everyone for your well wishes and kind words yesterday. I am really grateful your support.

Today's Full Strip

29 comments:

Peggy Olson said...

Dr. Kapuht? Brilliant name! His malpractice attorneys are Dewey, Cheatem, and Howe.

Mary has traded her purple walking outfit for green scrubs. She plans to assist Dr. Kapuht in the operating room.

TimP said...

They're pretty dressed up for a visit to the doctor's office. Sure, maybe in another time and place that was par for the course, but do you really need to wear a suit? Admittedly, Eddie isn't wearing a tie so kudos to him for dressing down ever so slightly but still...

KitKat said...

A doctor in my neighborhood is named Dr. Nice. I bet Olive would rather be seeing him.

Isn't it fortuitous that Mountview Hospital has a specialist in torso cysts on its staff? Thank goodness the Taylors are not dealing with the mediocre hospitals in NYC.

Anonymous said...

Not only are they dressed up for the doctor's office, but the kid is wearing a scaled-down version of one of Mary Worth's suits.

fauxprof said...

There is actually a dentist in my town called Dr. Kaput. We drive by his office a couple of times a week. As to this storyline, it's getting so wonderfully surreal that realprof suggested this morning that it's all a dream Olive is having.

Our very best thoughts are with you, Wanders.

Sandi Ego said...

The dentist who extracted my daughter's wisdom teeth is Dr. Kuklok. I so badly wanted to ask if they ever sent out holiday cards from "The Kuklok Clan". To my daughter's eternal relief, I did not.

Darth Curt said...

I used to drive by an Orthodontist Office with the ironic name of Dr. Payne on the sign.

Regina the NY Diva said...

There's some foreshadowing going on...Dr. Kaput? Could this mean Olive Oyl is "Kaput?" Mary in scrubs and "Clark Kent in disguise glasses?"

I am totally convinced that Moy is messing with us.

Carlye said...

My second grade teacher was Mrs. Nice. And she was. The third grade teacher at the time was Mr. Kind. It made school just a bit softer.

birdie said...

Wanders, if your Dr. is named Kapuht, I would suggest that you reschedule the surgery with someone else.

I do wonder if this is supposed to be Olive's dream sequence. Maybe it's what her brain is doing as she drowns in the pool.

Anyway, it's more exciting stuff that we've had since Aldo. I hope that doesn't mean it has to end with a death.

Mike in Cleveland said...

Once they remove the cyst, Olive will lose her powers.

meg said...

Mary has begun to realize what an asset Olive might be in controlling her financial destiny. After all, "dear Jack" left her a comfortable but not generous income.

Santa Royale Whig Herald

SEC in Dawn Raid at Charterstone Condo Complex;
Two Seniors Charged with Insider Trading

by Ivana Newman

The Securities and Exchange Commission has charged Mary Worth, age undetermined, and Elinor Kinley, who cares, with insider trading which has netted the two millions of dollars in unjust profits. Worth, who seems to have been the ringleader, and Kinley, Worth's lackey, are believed to have obtained advance knowledge of the merger of Jerry's Sandwich Shop and the Bum Boat restaurant (now known as Jerry's Bum Restaurant Chain). Worth and Kinley purchased shares of Jerry's at $2 per share, and Jerry's Bum (ticker symbol BUM) is now selling for $3 per share. The two women also purchased shares of the Bum Boat for $1 per share.

The daring raid by the SEC, the FBI, and the FDA took place after a lengthy operation nicknamed "Game of Crones." Although neither Worth nor Kinley were known to have previous criminal records, the Whig Herald has obtained an exclusive interview with retired Detective Dick Tracy, editor emeritus of the Cronestoppers Textbook.

IN: Thank you for meeting with us, Detective Tracy, and I'd like to ask you-

DT: Well, as I was just saying to Diet Smith blah blah blah B.O. Plenty blah blah blah the nation that controls magnetism will control the world blah blah...

IN: I'D LIKE TO ASK YOU what you can tell us about Mary Worth.

DT: Mary Worth! The first time I arrested her she had all her own teeth and called herself Apple Mary. There she would sit, in front of the Chrysler Building, or maybe the Empire State Building, selling apples. Apples-yes, but they were windfall apples, rotten and wormy, trucked in every week from Dutch Schultz's property in Jersey.

Well, naturally people called New York's finest (that would be me, Dick Tracy) to complain about the apples. Ha! That was Mary Worth's undoing. She was running the numbers for Schultz, and the little slips with the numbers were hidden amongst the apples. Blah blah blah. She always says she's the widow of Jack Worth, but he never even existed. All of her income is from what she was able to stash away before Dutch Schultz died. Ha-should have called her Numbers Mary.

IN: Well, this is certainly shocking. Mrs. Worth has been a pillar of the Santa Royale Community for many years. Do you have any information about Elinor Kinley?

DT: Yeah, she's an ugly, mean old broad.

Nance said...

@Sandi Ego--I laughed and laughed at your Kuklok Clan comment. So wonderful. Equally wonderful was your Herculean restraint.

I doubt I'd have been able to do the same.

@fauxprof--I am on the same wavelength as realprof. Once I saw Mary Worth as the dr. assistant, I figured something had to be up.

There was a Dr. Doctors who practiced around here for the longest time. When I was a candystriper, hearing them page him never ceased to crack me up.

Wanders, nothing bad can happen; your mission here is not fulfilled.

TimP said...

@Meg: I always thought that it was the nation that controlled Magnesium controlled the world...

Vicki said...

My son had a seventh grade teacher named "Miss Meany", who fortunately wasn't mean. And then there is the fire chief with the last name "Burns". It really IS funny how these name/occupation things occur pretty frequently!

I'm wondering why TeeHeeOh,Ed! is making such a peculiar face! Maybe he has a gas problem? "Paging Dr. Flatulence...please"

meg said...

Tim P- that would only be if they controlled milk as well.

Yahoonski said...

SATURDAY

First off, Dr. Feelgood, the fact that this place is just the same as the blood-spattered, tear-soaked horror pit where you work is no reason not to feel glum. Secondly, YOU'RE not the one with a freaking cyst on his freaking torso.

Peggy Olson said...

Saturday:
The insensitivity of Olive's parents is hard to watch. Can't they at least give her a hug? (Or do they do that only on a pool-side lounge chair?)

This story has moved from a fantasy with visiting angels to a grim episode of Medical Center.

Drs. Cory, Marcus Welby, and Chad Everett, you are all needed in ER - stat!

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

Just you watch. The genius of Karen Moy will bring all these plots together for a satisfying conclusion. Tee Hee

KitKat said...

Only at Mountview Hospital are the exam rooms marked "Private." That keeps other patients from barging in.

Sorry, Olive, but your expression screams "glum." You need to practice your "scared" face.

The mirrored cabinet behind them is mounted so high, Dr. Kapuht will need to stand on a step stool to get exam gloves. And, I'm hoping that Dr. Kapuht is just like Dr. Leo Spaceman from "30 Rock."

TimP said...

@Meg: I dunno, this guy seemed pretty convincing...

http://ronleyba.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/typeofcollegeteachers.jpg

Sandi Ego said...

@Nance - thank you, mwah!
@Meg - I love the restaurant merger. Jerry's Bum, yum!
@Wanders - thinking about you, hope all is well.

meg said...

TimP-I stand solidly behind Dick Tracy and the Berkeley Lab:

http://newscenter.lbl.gov/2011/03/18/enhancing-the-magnetism-in-bismuth-ferrite/

meg said...

Sunday: The ghost of Aldo Kelrast is in the house!

fauxprof said...

meg, you beat me to it. Aldo is a lot grimmer since he died. (Even though he found a Mary clone for his receptionist in this new life.)

meg said...

I'm convinced that there will shortly be a scene replicating the last scene in The Wizard of Oz, where Olive awakes and sees her parents, who seem normal instead of just cold and horny, and Mary, who's not receptionist-ing or skipping through the Charterstone grounds. It was all a dream as she was recovering from her near-drowning in the pool. And if this comes to pass, I'm going to start reading Apartment 3-G instead.

birdie said...

Olive's mother is brutally cold. Her biggest concern in all of this is getting on with her vacation.

Maybe they could have brought the lounge chair along with them to the hospital, so they could "vacation" while they wait for the doctor.

And yes, it's good to see that Aldo is no longer kaputt, and is now Kapuht.

TeacherPatti said...

Oh, man...today's strip is just...don't these "artists" talk to each other? I mean, what, did Olive use her mind to melt his 'stache right off his face????

KitKat said...

Dr. Kapuht's mustache is kaput.