Monday, January 26, 2015

Mary Worth 1974

I don't know what a bottle of "Spark" is, but I think we're getting subliminal messages here. Hanna and Sean just watched a sickening romantic movie "based on a book." Arguably, the most sickening romantic writer these days is Nicholas Sparks, who's book "Message in a Bottle" was adapted for the screen in 1999, starring Buttercup, Elliot Ness, Butch Cassidy, and Hagrid. I don't know... maybe it isn't sickening. I mean, according to Rotten Tomatoes, a staggering 32 percent of critics actually liked it.

Today's Full Strip

15 comments:

fauxprof said...

I think I saw a Nicholas Sparks movie once. It had Richard Gere, and a beach house, and I think he died in a South American jungle. Maybe. I'm usually very good at movie trivia, but I must have been bored too senseless to even hate the thing. Much like the current MW plot.

Yahoonski said...

She'll be right behind him because that's the only way she'll be able to find her way out of Drugstore. She has very poor vision, you know.

KitKat said...

I baled after 60 seconds of the trailer for "Message in a Bottle" - ehh.

Note that Sean and Hanna are keeping their items in separate (and awfully small) baskets, not in a shared shopping cart. Maybe they're not ready to commit as a couple yet, despite the terms of endearment they've been bandying about.

I don't know what Spark is, but the bottles look heavy, so why are they on a high shelf?

limber Joe said...

Tired of the same old bowl of Kelk every morning? Wake it up with an icy cold bottle of Spark! Serve immediately before the Kelk gets soggy.

LouiseF said...

It Hanna and Sean's relationship is so invigorating, why does Hanna need a bottle of Spark?!

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

Will....this....never....end?

Nance said...

As a feminist, I must object to Hanna's silent affirmation to be "always" behind Sean in Panel Two.

Perhaps Spark is Pharmacy's own label for Geritol.

meg said...

News bulletin from KSRY, the voice of Santa Royale:

Demonstrators Swarm Charterstone

Here's our reporter, Bruce Parmley:

A large crowd of demonstrators are occupying the grounds of Charterstone Condominium Complex (hereinafter CCC), with signs indicating their feelings about the current Mary Worth comic strip plot line. While many signs are lauding the Dingdon story, others are demanding change.

I see signs reading 'Hannah Rules', 'Sean is a Hottie', and 'More Senior Sexytime', 'Let Hannah Drive', 'Reveal Amy's So-called Job', 'What's the Deal with Gordy?', and most tellingly, 'What's the Demographic for MW-Duh?'. Most of these demonstrators are, shall we say, seniors.

Surprisingly, the anti-Dingdon crowd are teenagers and college students. Who would have thought that this old-fashioned strip would attract so many younger readers? Perhaps the compassionate widow resonates with today's alienated youth.

At any rate, the signs on this side of the Great Charterstone Lawn read, 'Dingdon Must Die', 'For the Love of Moy, Give Ian a Story Line', 'Sean, Go Back to Somerset, Hastily', 'We Need Jeff and Mary at the Bum Boat', 'Wilbur and a Sandwich, Sitting in a Tree, E-A-T-I-N-G'.

These young people are traditionalists and want a return of the familiar MW family of characters.

I'll speak with one of them now, a co-ed carrying a sign reading, 'Toby is My Favorite Alky Faculty Wife'. Your name, Miss? "I'm Flo FoProf, and I, like, really love Toby Cameron, and OMG, I would give anything to own one of her paintings, and..."
Thank you, Flo, gotta go.

Now there's a sight- a little Yorkshire terrier with a red bow in his/her hair, and a collar that reads Chester the Dog. Frankly, I had always pictured Chester as being a bit more macho. Chester says, 'Yip, yap, yip, yap, yap, yap'. What is it, boy? You say Mary fell down a well?

Here's a young man with a pony tail, a nose ring, and no need for a sign. His tattoos speak for themselves: Dawn is Hawt; I'd Lend Jim a Hand With Dawn; Tommy, Call Me; I'll Mug Hannah if I Get a Chance. No need to interview this guy...

Hmm, this is an unusual sight: a person covered from head to toe with a snowy white damask fabric- looks like a giant napkin of some sort. Since napkins have nothing whatsoever to do with MW and friends, I guess this person is perhaps an eccentric attention-seeker.

Oh, there's someone I'd like to talk to: she's a beautiful young redhead wearing a very short cheerleader's uniform with a big red M on the front. Miss, do you have a minute...
(voice coming into reporter's earpiece: If you know what's good for you, don't get her started...Meg never knows when to shut up). Meg: Blah, blah, blah, and furthermore, yada yada yada, and also, too.

Thank goodness, the SRPD has arrived to take control of the situation. Police Chief Muldoon is speaking through a bullhorn.

Muldoon: Citizens of Santa Royale. Return to your dwelling units. Karen Moy will have a televised address from the Oval Office at 7PM. She has heard your pleas, and will provide answers for your concerns.

The crowd disperses, meg shuts up, Chester bites Muldoon, and a giant napkin is abandoned on the lawn.

That's it from Charterstone, folks. This is your reporter, Bruce Parmley, signing off. On a personal note, I hate the Dingdon storyline as well.

Yahoonski said...

Thank you, Meg! What a wonderful diversion as we sit here on the coast of Maine, waiting helplessly as the BIGGEST BLIZZARD IN THE HISTORY OF EARTH bears down upon us.

Anonymous said...

Nance, I'm with you... Moy appears too young, at least from her images on Google, to be spitting out this drivel. Is she on vacation and is Uncle Joe pulling double duty and writing this crap? Probably not; every couple in this strip, no matter what their age, calls each other "Dear." Hey Yahoonski, I'm here on outer Cape Cod - I'll let you know if you should crawl under your desk.

mar said...

Wanders all I could think of when I saw Saturday, panel 2, was "Please bless this popcorn, that it may nourish and strengthen us. And thank you for Mary for bringing us together. In the name of..."

meg said...

I know it's early in the year, but I'd like to nominate today's (Tuesday) strip for the Worsies. It's even worse than the strip in which Mary and Olive danced down the Charterstone sidewalk. On the other hand, they do mention the early bird special.

LouiseF said...

And don't you love that the "Early Bird Special" is offered at "Robin's Egg Diner"?!...Sitting here in the snows of Cleveland, that (obvious, tormenting to me) reference to spring AND the fact that Sean and Hanna are casually attired in sweaters and enjoying the out of doors, complete with fully leafed-out trees (they ARE in California, after all) feels like a cruel trick Moy and Giella are playing on those of us trapped in (what feels like) eternal winter...

Nance said...

TUESDAY

ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Grackle said...

Fix your dang glasses, Hanna!