Santa Royale Gannett Tribune Knight Ridder Whig Herald
EXLUSIVE!
A routine mugging on the Santa Royale Boardwalk near white-hot new restaurant Marina Royale turned into something quite different last evening. Local residents and former Double Super Secret Service Agents Terry Bryson and Adam Miller were confronted by a serpent-headed gunman who said,
"Give me your money and no one gets hurt! Beaucoup piastres, an' Ah don' hurt you."
Terry: " Arrete toi Stop, you! Alohrs pas Of course not! Toi bon rien Good for nothing man. Toi braque you're crazy! Dit mon la verite'! tell me the truth, James Carville, why've you taken to a life of crime?"
"How you know it's me, Vielle Fille?"
"Cause of your big old ugly bald dos gris."
"This ain't what it look like, I'm just trying to help out a fren' who owns de Bum Boat; he wants it to look lahk dis neighborhood ain' safe so Marina Royale goes bust, and I say, hey, I'm between jobs now and I'll be red-dy to help you out. Orange you glad you asked? I may be a coward, but I'm not yellow. Besides, I was feeling kinda blue, you know, and a little green around the gills after eating too much boudin. I'm go-indigo rightaway. So then I shaved my head, put on my very bes' pale violet-colored matching jacket and pants, drove my 1970 Barracuda down to the waterfront and..."
"Ok, den we let you go this time. Don' come back. Get yourself an honest job, you heah?"
"Thank you, Missy- I'm goin' to work for Congressman McDugal presidential campaign next month."
Adam Miller: "Hey, Carville, tell the Congressman to call me! 202-456-1212!"
At that point, Miss Bryson broke Mr. Miller's cane over his head, drove away in his car, and went directly home to propose to her roommate. They celebrated in a Cajun restaurant.
Things have gotten so bad with the sorriest team in the NFL, Coach Pettine is hanging out in Santa Royale (no NFL team there) looking for easy marks to accost.
a recent conversation between Karen Moy and Joe Giella. . .
JOE: If I have to draw these two insipid mopes repeating the same conversation ad nauseum, I'm quitting. I can no longer hold my head up when I go out with fellow comics. And switching to a conversation with Toby and Mary swilling coffee and tsking away about Terry and Adam won't cut it either.
KAREN: So what DO you want?
JOE: Action!! This plotline is putting the readers to sleep! I do best when crime and crime fighting is involved. Even illustrating superhero Mary Worth diving into a pool to save a delusional tyke was more fulfilling than drawing these bench-sitters.
KAREN: So, if I write you a mugging, what will you do for me?
JOE: OK. . .I know you've been hankering for some new food illustrations and decor in Mary's apartment. I'll even throw in a cameo by Wilbur Weston and Dawn, but that's as far as I'll go.
KAREN: Just don't leave me, Joe. You're the only person I still trust.
8 comments:
Santa Royale Gannett Tribune Knight Ridder Whig Herald
EXLUSIVE!
A routine mugging on the Santa Royale Boardwalk near white-hot new restaurant Marina Royale turned into something quite different last evening. Local residents and former Double Super Secret Service Agents Terry Bryson and Adam Miller were confronted by a serpent-headed gunman who said,
"Give me your money and no one gets hurt! Beaucoup piastres, an' Ah don' hurt you."
Terry: " Arrete toi Stop, you! Alohrs pas Of course not! Toi bon rien Good for nothing man. Toi braque you're crazy! Dit mon la verite'! tell me the truth, James Carville, why've you taken to a life of crime?"
"How you know it's me, Vielle Fille?"
"Cause of your big old ugly bald dos gris."
"This ain't what it look like, I'm just trying to help out a fren' who owns de Bum Boat; he wants it to look lahk dis neighborhood ain' safe so Marina Royale goes bust, and I say, hey, I'm between jobs now and I'll be red-dy to help you out. Orange you glad you asked? I may be a coward, but I'm not yellow. Besides, I was feeling kinda blue, you know, and a little green around the gills after eating too much boudin. I'm go-indigo rightaway. So then I shaved my head, put on my very bes' pale violet-colored matching jacket and pants, drove my 1970 Barracuda down to the waterfront and..."
"Ok, den we let you go this time. Don' come back. Get yourself an honest job, you heah?"
"Thank you, Missy- I'm goin' to work for Congressman McDugal presidential campaign next month."
Adam Miller:
"Hey, Carville, tell the Congressman to call me! 202-456-1212!"
At that point, Miss Bryson broke Mr. Miller's cane over his head, drove away in his car, and went directly home to propose to her roommate. They celebrated in a Cajun restaurant.
I bet the mugger doesnt say "ugh" on the roller coaster.
Ha, the mugger is none other than Mike Pettine, head coach of the Cleveland Browns.
http://www1.pictures.zimbio.com/gi/Cleveland+Browns+v+Detroit+Lions+ZNfwdg3B2e-l.jpg
Things have gotten so bad with the sorriest team in the NFL, Coach Pettine is hanging out in Santa Royale (no NFL team there) looking for easy marks to accost.
a recent conversation between Karen Moy and Joe Giella. . .
JOE: If I have to draw these two insipid mopes repeating the same conversation ad nauseum, I'm quitting. I can no longer hold my head up when I go out with fellow comics. And switching to a conversation with Toby and Mary swilling coffee and tsking away about Terry and Adam won't cut it either.
KAREN: So what DO you want?
JOE: Action!! This plotline is putting the readers to sleep! I do best when crime and crime fighting is involved. Even illustrating superhero Mary Worth diving into a pool to save a delusional tyke was more fulfilling than drawing these bench-sitters.
KAREN: So, if I write you a mugging, what will you do for me?
JOE: OK. . .I know you've been hankering for some new food illustrations and decor in Mary's apartment. I'll even throw in a cameo by Wilbur Weston and Dawn, but that's as far as I'll go.
KAREN: Just don't leave me, Joe. You're the only person I still trust.
JOE: Please shut up.
Wow. They're getting mugged by Locke from Lost. Finally a series finale I can understand!
Looks like Adam's eating a sandwich while his girlfriend fights the bad guy.
Face-melting action!
No, literally - Adam's face seems to be sloughing off. It's gonna make it hard to eat that brown sugar pop-tart.
Karate CHOP!
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