MW: Hello?(hope Toby isn't hitting the bottle this early)
TC: Hello, Mary, it's Toby.(hope Mary isn't drunk already this morning)
MW: No, I'm sorry, there's no one here named Mary Toby. (hangs up)
TC: Aaarggh!
Ring-ring!
MW: Hello? (knew she'd call back)
TC: Mary, wait, don't hang up, it's Toby Cameron. (Mary's really slipping, maybe it's time to call in her son)
MW: Oh, Toby, of course I wouldn't hang up on you. I just had the oddest wrong number call- someone was asking for Mary Toby. Isn't that just the strangest coincidence, because I'm Mary and you're Toby and....(got to take a breath, must pace myself)
TC: Mary, have you heard about what happened to Terry and Adam last night? (oh, please, oh please let her not have read the Santa Royale news on her Commodore 64)
MW: I don't know anyone named Terry Anne Adams. (Toby is so gullible)
TC: Miss Bryson and Mr. Miller! (why do I let myself in for this)
MW: Oh, yes, of course, I told Miss Bryson to have a trial reconciliation with Mr. Miller, and don't let things move too quickly, but don't let him get away because a good man is hard to find and my dear husband Jack and I were taking a tour of the Flatiron Building and he got away from me and the next time I saw him he was on the pavement below and...(I may be semi-old, but I have the lung power of a lithe young athlete)
TC: Mary, Terry and Adam were having dinner at a restaurant on the waterfront last night. (she'll start paying attention when she hears the word 'restaurant')
MW: Was it the Bum Boat? You know, it has such good food and I always order the salmon special because it's the most expensive item on the menu and Jeff always pays because you know doctors make a lot of money...(Mary girl, you're brilliant today)
TC: No, they ate at the Marina Royale, the new restaurant on the boardwalk, and when they left there they encountered an elderly man who seemed very confused.
MW: Was it Ian? I'm sorry to hear he's started drinking again. (Ian stops drinking every night when he goes to sleep and starts up again every morning. Poor Toby)
TC: NO, NO! It was an elderly resident who had wandered away from the Somerset retirement community. (oh, I hope she asks me if it was Sean Hastings, because I have a great put down answer if she does)
MW: Oh, did they give him a ride home?
TC: No, they pistol whipped and beat him, and they were arrested and charged with assault and battery on a person over sixty, which carries a double super serious penalty! (Terry's gonna do ti-ime, Terry's gonna do ti-ime)
MW: Well, is Ian going to be all right? You should just make him lie down and give him two aspirin and a dram of Old Donaldtrump in a mug. (and make it a big mug, 'tis Ian we're talkin' abit)
TC: ( %^$#@*!) It wasn't Ian, and it wasn't Sean Hastings! It was another old man.
MW: Oh, I haven't seen Sean since his wedding day. I hope he'll be okay.(loving this)
TC: Mary, may I come over? If you've got some orange juice, I'll bring the gin. (waving the white flag of surrender here)
MW: Of course, dear, Terry is here and she was just telling me about what happened to her and Adam last night. You'll never believe it! (let's hear it for me: Mar-y Wo-orth, clap clap clap, Mar-y Wo-orth, clap clap clap. I haven't lost a step!)
Ahh, the ocean, moonlight, seagulls, a delicious meal ... wait--a mugger, guns, assault with a blunt instrument, foul language ... isn't this romantic?
As their lips began to brush against each other, closing the gap of the the years, Terry's finger tightened on the trigger of the gun she was holding against Adam's gut. Yes, now... she thought, while the only witness was a mugger and a bum. And who would believe him? If she killed Adam now, he wouldn't leave her. He would never leave her. Their partnership would end at the height of perfection. Their last violent escapade opening the doors to eternity.
11 comments:
Mary and Toby's Passive-Aggressive Relationship
Ring-ring!
MW: Hello?(hope Toby isn't hitting the bottle this early)
TC: Hello, Mary, it's Toby.(hope Mary isn't drunk already this morning)
MW: No, I'm sorry, there's no one here named Mary Toby. (hangs up)
TC: Aaarggh!
Ring-ring!
MW: Hello? (knew she'd call back)
TC: Mary, wait, don't hang up, it's Toby Cameron. (Mary's really slipping, maybe it's time to call in her son)
MW: Oh, Toby, of course I wouldn't hang up on you. I just had the oddest wrong number call- someone was asking for Mary Toby. Isn't that just the strangest coincidence, because I'm Mary and you're Toby and....(got to take a breath, must pace myself)
TC: Mary, have you heard about what happened to Terry and Adam last night? (oh, please, oh please let her not have read the Santa Royale news on her Commodore 64)
MW: I don't know anyone named Terry Anne Adams. (Toby is so gullible)
TC: Miss Bryson and Mr. Miller! (why do I let myself in for this)
MW: Oh, yes, of course, I told Miss Bryson to have a trial reconciliation with Mr. Miller, and don't let things move too quickly, but don't let him get away because a good man is hard to find and my dear husband Jack and I were taking a tour of the Flatiron Building and he got away from me and the next time I saw him he was on the pavement below and...(I may be semi-old, but I have the lung power of a lithe young athlete)
TC: Mary, Terry and Adam were having dinner at a restaurant on the waterfront last night. (she'll start paying attention when she hears the word 'restaurant')
MW: Was it the Bum Boat? You know, it has such good food and I always order the salmon special because it's the most expensive item on the menu and Jeff always pays because you know doctors make a lot of money...(Mary girl, you're brilliant today)
TC: No, they ate at the Marina Royale, the new restaurant on the boardwalk, and when they left there they encountered an elderly man who seemed very confused.
MW: Was it Ian? I'm sorry to hear he's started drinking again. (Ian stops drinking every night when he goes to sleep and starts up again every morning. Poor Toby)
TC: NO, NO! It was an elderly resident who had wandered away from the Somerset retirement community. (oh, I hope she asks me if it was Sean Hastings, because I have a great put down answer if she does)
MW: Oh, did they give him a ride home?
TC: No, they pistol whipped and beat him, and they were arrested and charged with assault and battery on a person over sixty, which carries a double super serious penalty! (Terry's gonna do ti-ime, Terry's gonna do ti-ime)
MW: Well, is Ian going to be all right? You should just make him lie down and give him two aspirin and a dram of Old Donaldtrump in a mug. (and make it a big mug, 'tis Ian we're talkin' abit)
TC: ( %^$#@*!) It wasn't Ian, and it wasn't Sean Hastings! It was another old man.
MW: Oh, I haven't seen Sean since his wedding day. I hope he'll be okay.(loving this)
TC: Mary, may I come over? If you've got some orange juice, I'll bring the gin. (waving the white flag of surrender here)
MW: Of course, dear, Terry is here and she was just telling me about what happened to her and Adam last night. You'll never believe it! (let's hear it for me: Mar-y Wo-orth, clap clap clap, Mar-y Wo-orth, clap clap clap. I haven't lost a step!)
meg, the image of TC and MW drinking their breakfast will get me through the tireless recaps in the weeks ahead.
Where is the traditional, out-of-context Sunday quote? Today, it could be "Love means never saying your sorry."
"...you're sorry." (See, I am not a robot.)
Does Adam not realize that Terry is an adrenaline junkie, and he will have to keep the high-risk scenarios coming? Sounds exhausting.
Ahh, the ocean, moonlight, seagulls, a delicious meal ... wait--a mugger, guns, assault with a blunt instrument, foul language ... isn't this romantic?
It's amazing, the gray streaks jumped off Adam's hair, right onto Terry's!
@meg, love the commodore 64 reference, Marys email address must be 5667445@compuserve.com!
Is the full moon rising in the west. or is it 5 am?
Yes Adam, kiss me before my hair turns all gray
and begins to fall out.
This whole story line makes me PIMMAL (puke in my mouth a little).
As their lips began to brush against each other, closing the gap of the the years, Terry's finger tightened on the trigger of the gun she was holding against Adam's gut. Yes, now... she thought, while the only witness was a mugger and a bum. And who would believe him? If she killed Adam now, he wouldn't leave her. He would never leave her. Their partnership would end at the height of perfection. Their last violent escapade opening the doors to eternity.
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