"We are so done. I meant it when I called you a boorish pig. Did I say pig? I don't remember, but I should have. Anyway, I'm not coming back. There's a box of Splak on the counter. You won't starve if that's what you're worried about.
"P.S. There's a vase under the sink for your pathetic bouquet."
I wanted to thank Santa Royale citizen "Daffodil" for pointing out some strips from Jeff and Mary's first date in 1996. It didn't go well. He took her to the Bum Boat and, well, meh. But given our fascination with Ian's AstroTurf sports coat, I thought you might enjoy his cotton ball sweater.