Don't thank Goodness, Mary. Thank YOU! Without your wisdom and advice, Toby might never have experienced a "change of heart." The only problem is, who will you sit poolside with and gossip about your latest intervention? Toby is going to be so busy taking care of Ian, you'll have to hang out with Wilbur.
11 comments:
"Looking quite back together"? Moy-speak, I guess.
Anyone else notice that Mary's apartment sometimes appears to be on an upper floor and other times, like today, it's on the ground floor? Maybe the apartment she's in today is not hers - she's "monitoring" Charterstone residents for their own good. On to Mary's next victim!
I've long accepted that Mary's apartment is some sort of magical space that violates every law of physics, gravity, and perspective. Furniture floats about, walls appear and disappear, and the colors whirl past in a haze of lilac, orange, and bile green. The vortex of the horror seems to be the kitchen, a hellhole of shifting masses and kelk.
Another Moy storyline ends with the female finding fulfillment by becoming a man's arm candy. It would have been interesting to see Toby decide to support herself through her art -- or a job at an arts supply store.
Who am I kidding? Moy is hopelessly stuck in the 1950s. Of course Toby went back to being Ian's Stepford Wife.
I'm just glad that part of The Deal was for Ian to take off the green blazer.
Bring on the pool party!
Toby's expression says, "oh, what the heck, it beats working at Food Team."
What Mary does on her Day Off
Mary Worth holds a glass to the door of the Cameron apartment. She can hear the disquietingly affectionate tones of the Ian/Toby reunion. My job here is done, she thinks smugly, and slithers back across the hall to her own abode. Inside, she double bolts the door and puts a bit of masking tape over the peephole- you can never be too careful. She proceeds to pull all pink drapes and curtains, and takes the Princess phone off the hook.
Mary sits in a swivel chair in front of her bookcase. She reaches for a concealed button, and the bookcase slowly turns 180 degrees to reveal her true library, and it is not all gray books. There is the Black Pullet Grimoire, the Picatrix of Ancient Araby, the Munich Manual of Demonic Magic, and the Great Blackstone's Little Black Book, as well as the Fanny Farmer Funky Cookbook. These books all have their uses, but Mary's most frequently used volumes are the Big Little Book of Meddling, How to Manipulate Friends and Influence People, Ah Has Spoken, by Mammy Yoakum, and The Art of the Steal by Ronald Rump (an old friend of Mary's who last appeared in MW 1283 comments).
Mary, however, pulls out a small spiral-bound notebook which appears to have comments written only by Mary.
Activities for a Dull Day:
Prank Calls
Mary selects a burner phone from her drawer. These come in handy when she doesn't want her identity to be known.
"Hello, this is Ken Kensington's number. Please leave a message."
"Mr. Kensington, this is the house manager for the Imperial Theater, where Les Miserables is (are?) playing. Our Jean Valjean has called in sick, and we need you to fill in. Please be here by 1:30 for the matinee."
"Please leave a message for dear old Shelly Cohen."
"This is Dr. Milton Smith's office calling. Dr. Smith would like to see you in his office at 4PM- in a red nightgown."
"Jerry's Sandwich Shop, Jerry speaking."
"Mr. Bono, this is Tommy Beedie's probation officer. He hasn't shown up for this week's visit. Please tell him to come down right away. He has the address.'
"Bum Boat, salmon is our specialty, how may we help you?"
"Santa Royale Health Department calling. We've had a complaint about your abalone chowder. Our inspector will be right over. Yes, we know it's dinner hour, but we'll try to be discreet. There will be only one light and one siren on our van, and only three white-coated inspectors will storm your building."
"Food Team, your friendly local superstore."
"Do you have Prince Albert in a can?"
"Hello, is that Director Berkes' Secretary? This is Professor Cameron's personal assistant; can you remind him that he's expected at dinner tonight at the Cameron condo? Seven o'clock, thanks."
"Domino's Pizza, we deliver! What'll it be?"
"Please deliver 3 large pizzas to Apt. 3G at Charterstone. One anchovy, one lutefisk, and one sardine. Deliver at exactly 7 o'clock and the gentleman will give you a large tip. Thanks!"
Life is good, thinks Mary, as she settles back in her LazyBiddie for the evening.
Oh, Meg, you're so much more entertaining than the strip!
How touching....Ian has been given another chance! What a wonderful marriage it will be, with Ian knowing he is just another dinner guest or late arrival away from divorce. I must be a masochist...."Mistress KM, may I please have another?"
Was there ever a doubt? How great would it have been if Toby left Ian because she was secretly sleeping with Wilbur. Mary's head would explode.
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