Monday, January 23, 2017

Mary Worth 2504

"I'm also not dumb. I know who you were quoting. My point is, I'm not a kid. Geez, you're just like my mom, always treating me like a child. Is it because I over compensate for my immaturity by constantly nurturing my pathetic perma-stubble? Is it because my eye color hasn't stabilized yet? It's called iris-variosis, okay? I know that, yes, most boys' eye color is determined by the time they're ten years old... I'm just a late bloomer. But I assure you, I lost all my baby teeth years ago."

25 comments:

Nance said...

And, speaking of eyes--do you think Iris's name is supposed to be funny? "Iris Beedie", as in Beady Eyes?

Anonymous said...

Very funny secret message

KitKat said...

Wanders, you are rocking this story line!!

OMG, not only is Iris using a reference from the previous century, she's wearing one of her 1973 outfits.

fauxprof said...

A possible connection between Iris and Dawn--they're both Bogart fans? At least Dawn went to see Casablanca with One-Armed Jim lo these many years ago. Maybe the girls could have a heart-to-heart over Turner Classic Movies and popcorn.

Regina the NY Diva said...

@ KitKat: Iris quoting Bogie is not half as bad as when Zak quoted Al Jolson last week. I think these two are in an alternate universe that jumps from the early to middle 20th century.

I see it doesn't take much to offend Zak. What a dummy. As others have said it would be awesome if Dawn broke up with Harlan and Zak broke up with Iris and they both start dating the age appropriate partners. But this is KM we're talking about. This will have a very disappointing conclusion.

Yahoonski said...

Who's Bogie?

LouiseF said...

Actually, I am not sure Zak DOES get the "Casablanca" reference... What else could Iris have said to (awkwardly) illustrate how she and Zak inhabit different cultural generations? How about "That desk is so messy, I bet you could find the Lindbergh baby in it!"? Or "What do you want, a Dewey button?" or "Twenty-three skiddoo!

fauxprof said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TimP said...

Kinda off topic, but 'Humphrey' never really did catch on as a first name did it?

r u ok? said...

I was expecting a possible "When Harry Met Sally" double-date scene where Dawn and Zak would bail out and run off together leaving Harlan and Iris awkwardly stranded. Maybe at the next date/non-date event at the University Student Center.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

LouiseF nailed it. This is the beginning of the end as Iris and Zak realize that they have absolutely nothing in common except his Cougar attraction.

Anonymous said...

You outdid yourself this morning, Wanders! Priceless - I've been chuckling all day. Thank you!

jack said...

On your comment: If Zak talked to jerk Capt. America's girlfriend Purple, or even comprehended when he said "Dope" to Iris mentioning that she had a son his age, he could have figured out for himself. However, this "advanced degree student" in the undergrad cafeteria doesn't have that level of intellect.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

"BOOM! goes the dynamite!"

fauxprof said...

TUESDAY

I know how Iris feels. Once I was telling my students about watching my favorite Fred and Ginger movie and was asked "Fred and Ginger who?" I suggest she try a Star Wars reference. That seems to be trans-generational.

KitKat said...

A poll - how old do you think Iris is supposed to be? I think 50-55. (Tommy and Zak are 25.) Would a 50-something person really use Bogie as a general reference? I don't mean someone who's a classic film buff, just an average 50-something.

Darth Curt said...

@fauxprof Do you mean Fred and Ginger Flinstone? (Fauxprof then mimics Iris with an epic Facepalm)

Darth Curt said...

*FlinTstone

Anonymous said...

KitKat's poll - Didn't Iris mention to Zak that she hadn't finished college because she got pregnant with Tommy? So she can't be 50-55 - assuming she would have graduated before the age of 25-30. I'll guess 45. But you're right about the Bogie quote. In fact, why would anyone, of any age, still be saying "Here's looking at you, kid?" Seriously....

Anonymous said...

Excuse me, Iris, but I think that facepalm is a bit uncalled for. Did Zak give you one when you hadn't heard of the band you went to see, or how about when you showed up for the concert in that stupid frilly dress? No, I believe Zak was gracious and polite. How about a little consideration in return? Go back to Wilbur; you deserve each other!

KitKat said...

@anonymous at 11:45 AM, thank you! I had forgotten about Iris relating her past history. Maybe KM did to, with the Bogie/Casablanca reference instead of something like The Breakfast Club or Pretty in Pink.

Carlye said...

Well, Iris, there's another "activity" for you. Invite him over for a showing of Casablanca. You'll have to ask Tommy to move over on the couch. Maybe Mary can bring some rice krispy squares.

Gina said...

Dump his sorry butt, Iris. Any dude who hasn't even HEARD of "Casablanca" is bad news.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

"Face-palming" is to "Iris" as "face-touching" is to "Mary Worth" ... oh, dear!!!

DWET said...

"BOOM! goes the dynamite!" --Veronica Mars

Seriously, everyone should know what Casablanca is. It's general cultural knowledge in the US. I'm a huge Dostoyevsky fan, but I wasn't around in the 1860s.