Wednesday, May 3, 2017

Mary Worth 2579

Katie's croissant is making Derek hanker for an unfiltered Camel 
Esme's not just a singer! She's a dancer! How dare you? And I didn't go on about her all night. Just until 4 AM. 

Enjoy: 15
Love: 11
Nice: 5 

Drove through Iowa yesterday. 

The Spider Bug in Avoca, Iowa 


Anonymous said...

Ha haaaa, a VW bug!

Back to floating hell. Derek went on and on about Esme all night, and now Katie is going to go on and on about her all morning. What a great relaxing getaway, huh?

Derek, she's going to keep harping on you until you fix that attitude of yours, mister. In other words, the beatings will continue until morale improves.

-- S. McW.

fauxprof said...

A beetle-spider! How hilariously creepy!

What is Katie about to bite into? That's an odd way to hold a croissant. Actually, it sort of looks like a small raw sweet potato. Maybe she should go to the cooking demonstration, too.

KitKat said...

@fauxprof, Katie has her eyes closed, so maybe she's about to chomp on the seashell table favor instead of her croissant. Is there a dentist on board? Maybe he's a hottie, and Katie can have a fling with him to retaliate for Derek's fixation on Esme. Now that would be worthy of boldface type!

Nance said...

Oh, Wanders. You are the Perfect Travel Companion.

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "There's Way More Wrong Here Than The Way Katie Is Manhandling That Croissant".

I--on, on, singer!
Dancer! Didn't!

Chester the Dog said...

Is there a cigarette vending machine on board?

Garnet said...

Yikes. I think Derek needs to fake his own death and start anew somewhere far away from Katie.

LouiseF said...

M. Wanders, it appears you may have been checking the site for fun stuff to see on your trip. You might also check out the SPAM museum when you get to Minnesota (if you haven't already).

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

The tension grows. Will Derek give in to the temptation of a cigarette? Will he give into the temptress Esme? Will Katie throw herself overboard in despair? Karen Moy has hit a home run this time.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...


Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Oops, I've been slacking off!

Mary’s Helpful Hint #32 (for MONDAY): To find out the latest about current events and the political situation in various Caribbean nations, read the travel brochure that the cruise activities director gave you! It is sure to have the most up-to-date political and socioeconomic analysis available on board!

Mary’s Helpful Hint #33 (for TUESDAY): For those of you who ENJOY making yourselves MISERABLE, remember to dredge up yesterday’s passive-aggressive conversation points about how MUCH your husband LOVED the lounge singer! It will make you REVEL in your own SELF-PITY! ... Plus, your husband will just think you’re a dork.

Mary’s Helpful Hint #34 (for WEDNESDAY): If your wife’s conversation turns into NAGGING and HARPING about how she’s jealous of that really HOT singer ... and dancer ... and all-around AMAZING talented person ... and beautiful ... and probably NOT a nag ... well, get yourself a fresh CIGARETTE ... and a fresh new travelling companion, too!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

So glad that you're having a much better time than Derek is having, Wanders!

Poor guy, trapped at sea with this seashell eating shrew. If there's any reason to throw yourself overboard, this is it.

Anonymous said...

"Esme's a dancer as well!"

Oooooooo, not a smart move, Derek. Referring to her my name as if you know each other, defending her entertainer chops. This is not the way to get Katie to climb down off your back.

Go hot rod a cigar to calm down, and if she asks you if you've had a cigarette, you can honestly say No.

-- S. McW.

Anonymous said...

This conversation would be a lot more fun if we could go back to imagining Derek with a lisp. "Ethme’s not justh a thinger. Thee’s a danther too!"

r u ok? said...

The bug spider picture is nice.
The bug spider picture is good.
I enjoyed the bug spider picture.
I love the bug spider picture.

Have a great road trip Wanders - the best way to travel around the US.

Fraser said...

But ... but beetles have six legs! That sculpture is seriously triggering my ocd.