Thursday, June 15, 2017

Mary Worth 2617

"My roommates and I have been looking for a fourth for Spades."

So, let me see... Katie throws Derek out of their cabin and then wanders up to the designated smoking area on deck 5, port side, where she sees Derek and Entertainer Esme (and nobody else) kissing. In tears, she runs all the way back to their cabin and locks out Derek who has followed her all that way without catching her. Then Derek, with his marital relationship at risk, hikes back to the designated smoking area where Entertainer Esme is smoking another cigarette, holds her, calls her "Beauty," and uses a metaphor of doomed romance, which Entertainer Esme quickly turns sexual.

Being good looking sure comes with a lot of stupidity.


Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Today's strip crosses the line of "family friendly", Wanders!

I read this when I woke up and said to myself "Who in the world calls someone "beauty" in a sentence? Who even talks like this?" Who wrote this, Barbara Cartland?

Anyway, I hope the "game" Entertainer Esme is going to play is bridge. Derek can be the dummy.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Where Bad, Passe Dialogue Goes To Die".

What? Kiss? Help!
You, me...Not.
Sure? My play. Lucky!

KitKat said...

Wanders, you hit another home run with today's secret message!

KM must be trolling B movies for dialogue:

Alan Ladd: "You and me,'s not in the cards."

Veronica Lake: "Are you sure, Derek? Let's go to my room and play."

Re yesterday's comments: @fauxprof, I don't see Helen Mirren as Mary. How about Betty White in an updated Sue Ann Nivens mode?

Toots McGee said...

Barbara Cartland! Hahaha Regina!

I haven't heard hackneyed, cards based innuendo this bad since AC/DC's "The Jack". (It's not family friendly, trust me. It's clunky and repetitive, though so it might resonate with Moy readers, if you don't mind a little filthy rock and roll.)

Wanders, to your point. I think the Hoosier's booked a cabin with a sliding door that opens right onto the designated smoking deck. Yes, Derek and Entertainer Esme are standing right outside the Hoosier's cabin. Sure, that's absurd. Sure, no such cabins exist for very good reasons, but this is a Mystery Ship and Scooby and the gang (in the persons of Mary and Toby) will get to the bottom of it. (Entertainer Esme won't get away with this, due to some meddling so and so's.

"This is the worst trip
I've ever been on."

Anonymous said...

This is the airport scene in Casablanca, although much much worse!

-- Scottie McW.

LimberJoe said...

Listen, Doll..things just aren't coming up spades, see? I've seen dames like you before. Sure, things are swell in the beginning, but then they get all topsy-turvy and jamokes like me end up being taken to the cleaners on a bum rap. So, hang it up, Doll Face. Dry those peepers and take a powder, see? I'm not falling for just another pretty mug!

Dave in Parma said...

When did Derek start using phrasing like Bogart? I expect he'll be calling Mary and Toby 'the old dame and the young dame' in tomorrow's strip.

I'm really getting whiplash moving from weeks of no plot movement to getting thrown into 6th gear today. I'm looking forward to when Derek and 3E get thrown from the smoking deck tomorrow when Cruise Line's ship hits the iceberg.

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

I can't wait until Derek finds out that Esme is transgender.

LouiseF said...

As I may have said earlier, this plot veers ever closer to the torrid waters of "Love Boat: the Worst Nightmare Episodes"....

ssvermi compost said...

Nice Post Kindly us

Chester the Dog said...

Derek, you one stupid guy, you.

KitKat said...


I think this is the closest to family-unfriendly that KM has ever gotten, although "turn that frown upside down" is not at all sexy.

Sheesh, the blog's been hacked by "ssvermi compost." From Russia, or North Korea?

fauxprof said...


So Esme is in Room 22? That implies she's on deck 2, below the waterline and near the engine room. That's where the crew quarters usually are. Esme may be the headliner, but all that might get her is a cabin to herself. Not gonna be luxury accommodation, Derek, but is that what you're looking for?

Delilah said...

Where is the phrase “turn that frown upside down” from? Seems like it was from some chintzy 70’s song?

MissScarlet said...

Well, Delilah, you got me thinking. I found 62 artists and 100 albums that include that phrase.

Have fun!

Anonymous said...

And then there's this one. Has nothing to do with Mary Worth, but worth checking. Especially the sequence at 2:30

LouiseF said...

Actually the "frown" phrase I remember was from Lionel Kiddie City, who promised to turn kids' frowns upside down...Referencing a toy store makes Esme's use of it even ickier.

Anonymous said...

When it comes to having an iron will, Derek is a veritable tower of jello.

-- Scottie McW.

Nance said...


Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Welcome To The Museum Of Bad Dialogue And Threadbare Cliches; I'll Be Your Guide, And My Name Is Esme".

Me, Frown!
Whole night! 1122!

(Wait til she gives him her phone number--555-1212. Sigh.)