Friday, September 1, 2017

Mary Worth 2682

"I'd slap you with my tiny hand, but I have to maintain this death grip on my bagel. I learned it from my Dad."

17 comments:

fauxprof said...

Maybe Dawn should do a basic internet search on her new boyfriend. I bet she'd find Mrs. Dr. Ned's Facebook page, complete with pictures of Ned and the kids at home. Even then, the only thing that will convince her is Mary Worth telling her. (BTW, when eating a bagel with cream cheese, almost everyone schmears the cream cheese on half the bagel. You don't make a sandwich out of it. Of course, perhaps a bagle' is different.)

KitKat said...

It's SO tiresome when men keep telling you they're in love with you.

Anonymous said...


If Jared had that much trouble working up the nerve to tell Dawn about Ned, he'd pass out before he could tell her that he loves her.

@fauxprof. Yeah, what's the deal with the cream cheese sandwich? If that even is cream cheese. Maybe in California they use sun-bleached seaweed paste or something.

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...

Way to be discreet, Dawn. First you refer to the doctor as "Ned" and perhaps a better response to Jared might have been, "Why are you telling me this, Jared?"

Anonymous said...

Maybe due to the misspelling of bagel Dawn was unsure of what to order so she went for the whoopie pie instead.

Dave in Parma said...

Excellent call @Anonymous @8:20.

I can't what to read what Dawn writes on her "what I learned on my summer internship" report.

(Actually, yes I can; I do have a life beyond imagining reading summer reports by comic characters in strips headed by meddling old ladies. A bit of a life. Really.)

Nance said...

I like how they've moved outdoors to the Bagle Deck solely for this part of the conversation.

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled "Fake News At The Bagle Barn".

Is? (Please in love!)
Boss...married!
Was! Divorced! A while!

Gina said...

I like how Jared was sure to specify "Dr. Ned Fletcher," so Dawn wouldn't get him mixed up with all those other Dr. Fletchers running around.

Darth Curt said...

So in my head I heard "Dr. Ned Fletcher is... [dramatic organ chord from 1960's soap operas] ...married."

I think a lot of things are better if you add a dramatic organ chord.

Anonymous said...

I think that's a burger, not a bagle. Her death grip has put an indentation on the bottom half of the bun. Jared's schnozz is about to feel the weight of the top half.

Sandi Ego said...

Dawn is eating her bagle exactly as shown on the front window of Bagle Barn. That is how they are served and must be eaten. If you question it, no bagle for you!

Anonymous said...

Golly, adulting is really hard.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Being a New Yorker, I have to instruct Dawn on bagel etiquette 101 (or "bagle etiquette 101"):

1) You ask for a "schmear", you don't pile the cream cheese on like you're making a sandwich out of it (maybe that's how Wilbur does it)

2) The person that gives you the schmear ALWAYS slices the bagel in half. You eat it like a sandwich, not a doughnut.

3) You never wave your "bagle" in people's faces. That's just rude and will get you killed in NY.

Getting back to the "action", I'm trying to decide who I despise more: Medical assistant Jared, who is a dweeb who collects Star Wars figures and lives in his mother's basement or Dawn who thinks that every guy that looks at her is falling in love with her. I think I hate Dawn more because she has two dates with a guy and already she's ready to buy a bridal gown. Like I said before, she's as dense as a rain forest.

Tomorrow's strip: Dawn calls Jared a liar and storms off, leaving her "bagle" behind.

LouiseF said...

Love the comments today! I agree that Jared's "information", which he has not tried to validate in any known way, will be dragged out for the long Labor Day weekend as he and Dawn squabble about its veracity, so we may as well all go to sleep until Tuesday....

Dave in Parma said...

The important question is if we'll have a random quote box extolling the fruits of labor in Sunday or Monday's strip.

Andrew Leal said...

Dawn is Wilbur Weston's daughter. She's still compelled to make a sandwich out of *everything*.

Chester the Dog said...

Dawn, Supercuts called. They have a free session for you.