Last night, I dreamt I was Frank Zappa, and I was performing solo in my elementary school cafeteria. I was disappointed that only about 40 children showed up, sitting on the floor as I told sardonic jokes from the stage. A few of the children asked their teacher if they could leave, and I knew I was bombing. But I had one last trick up my sleeve. I grabbed my guitar and was going to play my greatest guitar solo of all time: The Muffin Man. But as I started to play, it was like I really didn't know how to play the guitar at all. It was like I wasn't really Frank Zappa. I was humiliated in front of the remaining children who stared at me bored. I left the stage, only to remember my glory days:
12 comments:
As someone who owns something like 80 FZ albums/compilations/what-have-yous, I have forborne making reference to the Muffin Man for fear it might be a bit too obscure. Thank you, Wanders!
Is Mary actually rolling her eyes? I would be impressed if she was.
Ted's got a point. There's nothing I enjoy quite as much as a glass of wine and a muffin before dinner. Blueberry wine, of course.
BTW, that's an interesting two-tone hair color Dr. Jeff is sporting. Not quite the distinguished touch of gray you see on many men of a certain age. Come on, Jeff, either go all the way with the Just for Men or don't go at all. Commit!
-- Scottie McW.
Have another Ted...glass of wine that is
Sounds like Wanders had some of Mary's magic muffins before bedtime last night.
There's an odd play called bobrauschenberbergamerica
Worth catching - a lot more interesting than today's quote
We saw it at a small college production in the round. I was in the spot where an actor reached up longingly. Of course I returned towards him, much to the annoyance of the family.
Full script at http://www.charlesmee.org/bobrauschenbergamerica.shtml
We all know where this is going, and it may involve the Better Business Bureau eventually.
Mary: Ted- if that is really your name, which I doubt- Mary Freakin’ Worth did not get to be 138 years old by believing what every freakin’ huckster tells her, including your so-called friend, Dr. Jeff the Medical Malpractice King Cory. So here’s the deal: I’ll sell you the recipe for 25 large, and I’ll introduce you to a sucker who’s eager to spend his cash on hopeless causes, and the three of us will share the profits in the unlikely event there are any. Capish?
Ted: WOW! I accept! Now lead me to that sucker!
Jeff: (proudly) That’s my Mary!
Mary: (on the phone). Hello, Wilbur? I’ll be right over.
If Mary had any spare cash - she wouldn't be living in Charterstone.
The better "mark" is Doctor Jeff.
Ted better review the rules on "Accredited Investors". Doubtful that Mary qualifies.
@meg
You've got my vote for Comment of the Year!
I know it's only January, but of the many, many, many brilliant and hilarious comments I've read during my time here, that is absolutely the best so far.
-- S. McW.
Anonymous/S. McW: Thank you!
Love the monogrammed paper napkins...Mary is one class act.
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