Ted's door approach seems a little pushy. What was he selling in his former sales career? Magazines?
The reason I ask is that back when Mrs. Wanders and I were first married, she was in our apartment when two guys in their late teens or twenties knocked on the door. When she answered, the bigger of the two guys explained that they were selling magazines. He asked, "Are you a model?" perhaps to interest her in a fashion magazine. Then he asked, "Is that your Porsche in the parking lot?" perhaps to interest her in an automotive magazine. She said she wasn't interested and they desperately explained that if they could sell just two more subscriptions, they'd earn a trip to Disney World, perhaps because they knew she wanted them to be that far away. She finally got rid of them and a few minutes later I came home. She told me about the encounter, and I went back in the hallway and found them on the floor below knocking on doors. I said, "Hey! What do you mean coming around here asking my wife if she's a model?" At that point, the little guy ran out of the building, and the bigger guy started to say something, but he only got four words in before I started walking toward him, "There is no soliciting in this building." He left, too.
To this day, my wife cringes every time I ask her if she's a model, or it that's her Porsche in the driveway. Which I do a lot.
16 comments:
So, Ted, what other sweeping successes have you had?
Well, Mary, have you ever seen Star Wars merchandise for sale? That was me. Flat-screen TVs? Me again. Smart phones? Mine.
Uh . . .
-- Scottie McW.
I wish them the best of success in sweeping up the stale crumbs of 20000 unsold muffins and fifteen grand in credit card debt.
OMG, Wanders, I had to stifle my laughter at work after reading your story. I always read your secret message first and it didn't make sense until I read your tale.
Ted is one pushy salesman. I too am curious as to what Ted sold. My guess is Amway, Mary Kay or Avon. I bet he was Mary Kay's top salesman and has the pink Buick in the parking lot.
I get the feeling that Ted and Fabiana deserve each other.
I get the feeling that Maren Koy has been conned, repeatedly, and she’s trying to work out how it happened. We (and June) are simply helping her out with her therapy.
"A possible hit! Your muffins are it!" "Possible" should give Mary pause.
So we'll be seeing Ted eating muffins in the kitchen the rest of the week while Mary preens and fails to ask the details of his "former sales career"?
Do you think Ted brought his own bottle of milk with him?
What's up with the turtlenecks, Ted?
Is that a picture of Toby?
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"Ted Used To Be Off Caffeine, Too".
Come in!
Thanks! Sales career, hit! It! Sweeping Success!
Flattered! Overwhelming!
If Ted had found a "hit" he would already be rich, so . . .
Maybe we should add "Fame and Fortune" from Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer to the jukebox.
Creepy Alert! Mary has a framed photo of her neighbor, Toby, on a shelf in her living room. That's a little more than odd.
Vince: I think it might be Toby, but why is she half-naked?
Where did Ted come from anyway? He's acting like he's never come across a muffin before, even though they are sold in coffee shops, donut shops, grocery stores, convenience stores, bakeries, and gas stations. They're pretty much the easiest baked good to make as well.
What was he selling, and where, that would make him this excited over a bland baked good? He doesn't appear to be from an uncontacted tribe deep in the Congo or the Amazon. So, he's either mentally defective or is about to scam Mary out of money.
And to follow up on Garnet's comment, Mary has been making muffins so long, they've become a staple in her meddling. Her (surprising) enthusiasm over the prospect of Muffin Queendom is not believeable, along with her sudden need to test batch something she's made at least once a month for the past, oh so many years. Wake up and smell the coffee, Mary. Think she's been drinking Sanka too long.
Gosh, I'm loving Garnet's irritation/snark/dismissiveness-bordering-on-outrage. I feel like we would have a great time at a long drinks lunch, and talking about this storyline would just be a launchpad for a vast amount of topics.
@Garnet, your comment is terrific today.
:) Thank you,
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