Tuesday, February 20, 2018

Mary Worth 2821

I'm not that bright, so it is difficult for even this strip to insult my intelligence. But when it does, I tend to get a little worked up. Why in the world would a grocery store allow someone to do this? What's their cut? It's not like they're doing it for charity, like letting the Girl Scouts sell cookies out front. It isn't like they've contracted with a temp agency to provide minimum-wage workers to hand out a chip with some salsa on it to Costco shoppers. This is about undermining sales in their bakery department. And it makes no logical sense.

Usually, I can make it to about June before I invoke my first logical fallacy penalty, but this year I'm calling it in early.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

So Mary bakes the muffins and then hands out free samples at Aileen’s. I suppose Ted will be there to hug potential customers.

Anonymous said...


Wow, Ted Miller the Lady Killer set up Mary with a weekend job without even bothering to consult her about it. What a guy!

I'm with you, Wanders. The plausibility of this whole stupid story line is sorely lacking. Oh well, we'll just have to roll our eyes, slog through it, and accept it as the farce it is.

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...

Um...any more ridiculous than Mary taking a cruise and getting excited about a demonstration on napkin folding? As you said, we will just have to roll out eyes,slog through and accept it as the farce it is.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"See? That Whole Hugging Thing Was Just Ted Miller Being A Character".

Aileen's Grocery, in person!
Great! Free samples!
First step! Grow!
Thanks!

r u ok? said...

Wouldn't there be issues with Mary running a business (i.e. muffin making/selling) from her Charterstone condo? And with one oven it would seem that she already has a bottleneck problem with her production line. Is she going to make muffins during the week and then sell the stale muffins on the weekends? She can't be at two places at once . . .

KitKat said...

I was going to say that Santa Royals must have the most lax food safety laws out there, but even lax laws would be tons more stringent than this scenario. Then I read Wanders’s post and shouted “Yes!” My husband periodically reminds me, “It’s only a comic strip.” Yes, it is, but Baren Coy has abandoned any grasp at reality here.

Maybe Mary can hire Tommy Beedie to make labels for Mary Muffins. Of course there should be packages for those labels....

Vince said...

Are Ted and Mary sitting in the same chair?

fauxprof said...

@KitKat, you hit on exactly the point that occurred to me. My first full-time job was at the City Health Department, and the rules for licensing food service organizations were pretty stringent then, almost 50 years ago. A charity bake sale might get a pass, but this idea is both illogical and possibly illegal. Since we already refer to the “Worthiverse”, maybe we should just accept that the action takes place in a parallel universe only vaguely similar to ours.

Nance said...

...not to mention that Ted Miller and Mary keep eating all the inventory.

How will this work? Will Mary sit at a table and hand out quarters of muffins as samples? Then, when impressed customers say, "Oh, wonderful, I'll take a dozen blueberry!", she will grab a ...what? Where will she get all the boxes, trays, racks, etc? And what if someone says, "I love these! Our annual Rotary Club brunch is tomorrow, so I would like six dozen cinnamon muffins, please."

Certainly, Aileen herself will be Thrilled to supply everything Mary and Ted Miller may need. It's what Santa Royale citizens do.

Anonymous said...

I'm starting to wonder if "Aileen's" is an anagram for some other store name, like our previous Saul Lewman.

Chester the Dog said...

Free samples AND sell? Who is going to buy when you can get a free sample? AARRGGHHH!!!

LouiseF said...

If Mary is so concerned about Ted's hugging, why is she inviting him into her apartment? Can't they meet somewhere public? Or is his over friendliness (He's like that with EVERYONE!) just going to be glossed over with muffin icing? Seems like Mary could use three billboards...

Garnet said...

Yep, like others here, my first though was, "wouldn't she need some sort of license to sell food?" And frankly, I know very little about business. I've also never seen a random old lady selling food she made at the store. If someone from outside the store is selling food, it's typically children selling cookies for their girl or boy scout troop. Recently, I bought some chocolate off of kids raising funds for their sports club at Canadian Tire.

Plus, why did Mary let creepy Ted in her apartment? This is bizarre.

Garnet said...

Also, couldn't the store get in trouble for allowing the sale of food from a non-licensed vendor on their premises? Why would they allow this? For all they know, Mary's house could look like something from "Hoarders" and her muffins could have cat hair in them.

Andrew Leal said...

"any more ridiculous than Mary taking a cruise and getting excited about a demonstration on napkin folding?"

I'd say yes, because Mary Worth is exactly the sort of person to be thrilled by napkin folding (but not the sort of person who, in reality, could bend vending and health laws to her will, unless it's Ted "I'm a Character" Miller doing the bending).

KitKat said...

And another thing: When will Mary get around to asking Ted what his cut of "we" is? So far she's supplied all the ingredients, labor, and her oven. What kind of agreement did Ted make with Aileen's? Maybe Aileen just said, "Sure, bring the muffins! You are such a character!"

Peggy Olson said...

I'm late to today's discussion. All of you have wonderfully stated my initial reactions. Even Girl Scouts sell licensed cookies from an authorized, licensed manufacturer. This story line makes no sense!

Maybe Ian and Toby can ask a business professor to brief Mary on Econ 101. Will Jeff chime in with warnings about food poisoning? Doubtful.

Anonymous said...


But Ted, don't we need a license to sell my muffins at Aileen's?

License, schmicense, rules are for losers. But if you insist, I'll make one for you. Can I borrow your desktop? And by the way, I just got a text that we closed a deal for you to hand out samples down at the gun factory when the second shift gets off. You have to be there at a quarter to midnight starting Monday. It's only for about an hour or so. Let me know how that goes.

-- S. McW.

Sandi Ego said...

I try not to think too much about other people's kitchens and cleanliness or I have trouble eating at parties. If presented with a free sample of a Mary Muffin I'd wonder if she wore a hairnet, wore gloves or truly scrubbed her hands and nails, how clean is her oven, how clean are the muffin tins and utensils, how were the muffins transported, etc. I will share an apple, bite for bite, with a horse, but would probably pass on a Mary Muffin.

fauxprof said...

Let’s face it, Baren Coy just writes whatever pops into her head without doing any troublesome research. I suppose she might run across a random factoid now and then and incorporate it into the strip (like the way the fish face on a cruise ship carpet?). But actual marketing strategies and health regulations would be too much trouble for her.

TimP said...

Not to be contrarian, but some years back they passed a law in Texas allowing for sales of so-called cottage foods.

http://texascottagefoodlaw.com/FAQ

I'm guessing California is not nearly so laissez-faire as Texas but what do I know?

Carlye said...

I remember when our church wanted to have (free) spaghetti dinners on Wednesday nights, to bring families together. They couldn't do it because they didn't have a regulation stainless steel stove and dishwasher. I'm pretty sure it's illegal to sell food items that are made in a home kitchen, unless it's your kids selling lemonade.

Yahoonski said...

Muffins, muffins, muffins. Anybody else feeling full yet?

Yes, Vince, they're both sitting in the same chair. It's Mary's patented backless loveseat.

Anonymous said...

This story makes me miss the days of pork chops and acrobats.

Matt said...

Wait... I thought Ted was the "great saleman?"

DWET said...

EGADS! What is that flesh-colored spot between Ted's nose and Mary's neck? Is it Ted's HAND on Mary's NECK?!!?!?!? .... or is it just the flesh-coloured lamp? (Let's hope so!) ... And why is Mary smiling through all of this?!?!?! Inquiring minds want to know!