How many more days are we going to be hearing about Wilbur's pity party? We get it Wilbur, you're a miserable loser, let's just leave it at that and move on. Now let's get back to Harlan, Dawn and Beautiful Italy.
Even a world-class busybody like Mary has to start wondering what she got herself into this time.
Meanwhile in Beautiful Italy, a Good Friday Passion Play wends its way down a narrow Roman street. Not knowing it's a re-enactment, passer-by Dawn is startled at the sight and rushes into the middle of the scene screaming, "What are you doing to this poor man???" The fallen Jesus looks up at her and yells, "IDIOTA!" The Good Samaritan then pelts her with stones until she flees.
A swan dive onto the rocks would help Wilbur snap out of it. The approaching rocks would be wonderfully concentrating. The land could hard on him but he would snap of his funk on the way down--guaranteed.
Suddenly, Mary receives a call on her Old Bat Phone.
“Yes, yes, I see. I’ll be right over. Wilbur, I have an emergency consultation. Can you make your own way home?”
“Huh? I was just trying to decide between ham and bacon for my lunch sandwich- think I’ll have both. Mary?! Where are you going?” Wilbur sadly grabs his skateboard and begins the long roll home.
Later that same day:
Mary deplanes at Rome’s Fiumicino Airport, where she is met by an anxious Monsignor. “ Thank goodness you’re here, Signora Worth! The Holy Father has gotten himself into a jam, saying there’s no Hell. The Cardinals are ready to riot, and the faithful are gathered in St. Peter’s Square, demanding the facts. “
“You did well to send for Mary Worth, Monsignor. Now take me to Francis.”
Vatican City: Mary stands in the hall outside the Pope’s office. She hears music, and singing. The words are strangely familiar. The Pope continues to sing: �� Imagine there’s no heaven. It’s easy if you try. No HELL below us, above us only sky....
“Francis! Enough singing! You’re frightening your flock!” After Mary explains to the Pope, he invites her to join him on the balcony, where he intends to sing Imagine to the gathered crowd.
Meanwhile, Dawn and her friends are standing in St. Marks, flirting with the Swiss Guards.
Two people appear on the balcony. Harlan says: “Who’s that?”
Dawn: “ I don’t know who the old dude in the white dress is, but the lady in lavender is Mary Worth.”
Thank you very much, Wanders and Anon. How Moy could have passed up a story line in Italy to settle for this dreck is beyond our puny abilities to understand.
Scottie McW and meg are providing much better scenarios than the official Wilbur-the-garden-slug mopeathon. I’m sure June would have more fun drawing Mary Worth with Pope Francis.
Thanks for everyone’s good wishes responding to my rant yesterday. The problem with the fridge has been repaired at a cost much less than that of a new appliance, and although 48 hours of down time meant I lost all the food, stocks have been replenished, including my ice cream. I’m ok, so don’t send muffins. (Unless they’re chocolate-chocolate chip. No nasty raisins.)
Whew! fauxprof, the suspense about your fridge was killing me. Thanks for the update. And what a fabulous Good Friday scenario from Meg. Pope Francis singing "Imagine"... I see him swaying back and forth with Paul McCartney on one side and Yoko Ono (also in white) and Ringo on the other....
Just how many years did Mary volunteer in a hospital? She's hearing *this* kind of talk and isn't taking suicide prevention measures, such as asking someone if they are considering hurting themselves or suicide? Sheesh.
I get it now! Mary isn't going to push Wilbur over the cliff, she's just going to say the right platitudes to make him despair and jump off the cliff all by himself! Then she'll take over "Ask Wendy" and also write a column for "Survivor Stories" about the killer wind at Lookout Point!
18 comments:
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"I Find Wilbur Trying, Too".
Fun. Hobbies?
Wrapped up alone. Good.
Trying. Really!
You'll notice that Mary is standing slightly behind Wilbur as he contemplates his miserable existence, looking over the cliff.
How many more days are we going to be hearing about Wilbur's pity party? We get it Wilbur, you're a miserable loser, let's just leave it at that and move on. Now let's get back to Harlan, Dawn and Beautiful Italy.
Maybe a throat punch would help Wilbur snap out of this funk!
Even a world-class busybody like Mary has to start wondering what she got herself into this time.
Meanwhile in Beautiful Italy, a Good Friday Passion Play wends its way down a narrow Roman street. Not knowing it's a re-enactment, passer-by Dawn is startled at the sight and rushes into the middle of the scene screaming, "What are you doing to this poor man???" The fallen Jesus looks up at her and yells, "IDIOTA!" The Good Samaritan then pelts her with stones until she flees.
-- Scottie McW.
A swan dive onto the rocks would help Wilbur snap out of it. The approaching rocks would be wonderfully concentrating. The land could hard on him but he would snap of his funk on the way down--guaranteed.
The hobby of cliff-diving comes to mind.
Wonderful, Scottie. I love this one best of all. Your story has been almost as exciting as Wilbur on a Cliff.
Too funny, Scottie. Please tell us you can draw too. Karen and June will be looking for jobs.
Suddenly, Mary receives a call on her Old Bat Phone.
“Yes, yes, I see. I’ll be right over. Wilbur, I have an emergency consultation. Can you make your own way home?”
“Huh? I was just trying to decide between ham and bacon for my lunch sandwich- think I’ll have both. Mary?! Where are you going?” Wilbur sadly grabs his skateboard and begins the long roll home.
Later that same day:
Mary deplanes at Rome’s Fiumicino Airport, where she is met by an anxious Monsignor. “ Thank goodness you’re here, Signora Worth! The Holy Father has gotten himself into a jam, saying there’s no Hell. The Cardinals are ready to riot, and the faithful are gathered in St. Peter’s Square, demanding the facts. “
“You did well to send for Mary Worth, Monsignor. Now take me to Francis.”
Vatican City: Mary stands in the hall outside the Pope’s office. She hears music, and singing. The words are strangely familiar. The Pope continues to sing: �� Imagine there’s no heaven. It’s easy if you try. No HELL below us, above us only sky....
“Francis! Enough singing! You’re frightening your flock!” After Mary explains to the Pope, he invites her to join him on the balcony, where he intends to sing Imagine to the gathered crowd.
Meanwhile, Dawn and her friends are standing in St. Marks, flirting with the Swiss Guards.
Two people appear on the balcony. Harlan says: “Who’s that?”
Dawn: “ I don’t know who the old dude in the white dress is, but the lady in lavender is Mary Worth.”
Thank you very much, Wanders and Anon. How Moy could have passed up a story line in Italy to settle for this dreck is beyond our puny abilities to understand.
And meg, that's hilarious!
-- S. McW.
Scottie McW and meg are providing much better scenarios than the official Wilbur-the-garden-slug mopeathon. I’m sure June would have more fun drawing Mary Worth with Pope Francis.
Thanks for everyone’s good wishes responding to my rant yesterday. The problem with the fridge has been repaired at a cost much less than that of a new appliance, and although 48 hours of down time meant I lost all the food, stocks have been replenished, including my ice cream. I’m ok, so don’t send muffins. (Unless they’re chocolate-chocolate chip. No nasty raisins.)
Whew! fauxprof, the suspense about your fridge was killing me. Thanks for the update. And what a fabulous Good Friday scenario from Meg. Pope Francis singing "Imagine"... I see him swaying back and forth with Paul McCartney on one side and Yoko Ono (also in white) and Ringo on the other....
...and Mary in back of the group, desperately trying to elbow her way to the front...
Ringo (such a nice boy): ‘Ere! Let’s let me gram through.’
Yoko: ‘ scareeeech, yodel, pocketa pocketa!’
Paul: ‘Yoko, luv, stop trying to break up the group again!’
Francis and Mary (harmonizing): ‘Youuuuuu may say I’m a dreeeeeemeer (and I also give very good advice).
Just how many years did Mary volunteer in a hospital? She's hearing *this* kind of talk and isn't taking suicide prevention measures, such as asking someone if they are considering hurting themselves or suicide?
Sheesh.
I get it now! Mary isn't going to push Wilbur over the cliff, she's just going to say the right platitudes to make him despair and jump off the cliff all by himself! Then she'll take over "Ask Wendy" and also write a column for "Survivor Stories" about the killer wind at Lookout Point!
DWET, a two-fer! That’s inspired!
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