Thursday, April 5, 2018

Mary Worth 2857

It was Harlan Howard who is attributed as being the first to describe country music this way. He should know; he was one of the most prolific and influential country songwriters, and his passing in 2002 left a big hole in the heart of Nashville. So, yeah, I have gone through many country music phases. I have no problem with country music. What I have a problem with is country music radio. It's three songs and a pigsty full of commercials. Over and over and over again... whenever I get in a country music mood, it lasts about three days until I can't take it anymore. So hopefully, the country music station in Santa Royale plays more music from a deeper playlist.

But in honor of Harlan Howard, I've added one of his songs to the Jukebox, "Heartache by the Numbers." It ought to cheer Wilbur up immensely.


Downpuppy said...

Radio country is insipid pop songs sung with a bogus accent. Unless Moy realizes this, & is up to something, we have reached the Platonic Ideal of the Pointless Strip.

Tim said...

By the time the singer's dog leaves Wilbur will be weeping into his bubble bath. Are there no bars in Worthverse?

Tim said...

In all seriousness. I'm not a big drinker but if I was Wilbur's friend (hahahahaha) I would take him a favorite pub for a couple of adult beverage and conversation about what ever comes up. It would do him more good than Mary's insipid platitudes. Here's an out of context quote: beer is proof God loves us and wants us to be happy.

LouiseF said...

Won't Wilbur be surprised when he finds out that that "shower radio" is really soap-on-a-rope?!

Chin Napkin Groupie said...

Go KM, you're on a roll. With any luck, we will next be entertained with Wilbur pondering his choices for No, I think I'll have a baloney about SpaghettiOs. By the way, for real country music, nothing beats Willie's Roadhouse on Sirius XM.

KitKat said...

I'm so excited that we might see Wilbur shampooing his hairs tomorrow!

Maybe Iris will counter Wilbur's rendition of "Heartache by the Numbers" with her special take on "How Can I Miss You if You Won't Go Away?"

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I have never been more relieved that this strip doesn't come with a soundtrack. I think I'd rather watch Wilbur shave his legs than listen to country music. In fact, I'd rather shave his legs myself than listen to country music.

Anonymous said...

But we all know that Wilbur can't handle the truth.

Wanders, ditto on the oldies station here. I try to listen to it while doing yardwork, but I can't listen for more than maybe an hour. There were thousands and thousands of great songs released in the 60s, 70s, and 80s, but our station plays the same 50 or so over and over and over. I developed an intense loathing for Fleetwood Mac, as their songs get excessive airplay. Makes me resort to idiot hot-take sports talk.

Delilah said...

My ex used to drink and listen to George Jones. Like clockwork, he'd come into the bedroom late at night, crying, and blubber "I love you honey!" And I'd reply "Ol' George has broke your heart again!" My question is, who will Wilbur blubber to? Mr. Alora? He has exceeded Mary's platitude limit.

fauxprof said...

Actually, what Wilbur needs is a clean towel. That one looks like it was used to facilitate an oil change.

meg said...

Wilbur’s Playlist:

She got the ring, and I got the finger.

She’s out doing what I’m here doing without.

You broke my heart at Walgreen’s, and I cried all the way to Sears.

I’ve got tears in my ears from lying on my back crying over you.

I’d be better off in a pine box.

The next time you throw that frying pan, my face ain’t going to be there.

A day without you is like a sandwich without extra mustard.

I don’t know whether to kill myself or go bowling.

I wish I were a woman, so I could go out with a guy like me.

I’’ve got hair oil on my ears, and my glasses are slipping down, but baby I can see through you.

Anonymous said...

My favorite: Go ahead and feel bad if it makes you feel better.

-- S. McW.

lmjb1964 said...

For the jukebox:
Splish Splash I Was Takin' a Bath
Love Bath--Smokey Robinson
Wonder if he'll go full on bubble bath?

I tried Google to find country songs with "Shower" of "Bath" in the title. No luck, but I found this:

I hope he can tune into KPIG Radio in Freedom, CA. It changed my mind about country music.

Lcanon said...

You've just described all commercial radio, only with car dealership commercials where they yell at you because no one will buy a car unless they're being yelled at.
I listen to Pandora -- at least the commercials are shorter. And I can hear whatever I want.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"A Big Night For Wilbur Means A Bad Day For Us: Add Truck, Beer, And Twang To Complete".

Ah, country!
"Three chords truth".

(I'm so with you, Anon @11:36. Bleah.)

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Unless it's Michael Nesmith and his "Country Rock", I don't want to hear any country music.

I suggest Wilbur listen to "She thinks I still Care" and think of Iris.

I'm just dreading tomorrow's strip which may feature a hairy, soaped up Wilbur.

MissScarlet said...

Yeah Meg!!

meg said...

I’m just dreading the plot twist where Wilbur slips and is injured in the shower, and Iris shows up to nurse him back to health.

Of course, he could take horseback riding lessons to cheer himself up - and the horse is named Mr. Ed, “ Willllburrrr! Get yer fat arse off me- you’re killing my back.”

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Welp, I was wrong yesterday about what Wilbur was hiding in the closet ... I think Ol' Wilbie is gonna fall in the shower and get addicted to opioids, then drag Tommie Beedie back to a life of crime ... and ... SANDWICHES!

Maxwell Bacon said...

Wilbur should listen to Carrie Underwood. She really packs a wallop.

Iris sings screechingly said...


Chin Napkin Groupie said...

Wow, I can't believe all of the country music bashing. Can it really be that you don't appreciate the likes of George Jones (He Stopped Loving Her Today) , Patsy Cline (Crazy), Kris Kristofferson(Help Me Make It Through the Night, Me and Bobby Mc Gee), Johnny Cash (I Walk the Line, Ring of Fire) , Willie Nelson (You Were Always on My Mind, On The Road Again) and so many more.

BLSD said...

Wilbur is the very definition of insipid and has that in common with a considerable amount of modern country radio. For some non-insipid modern country music, try Chris Stapleton, Sturgill Simpson and especially, Jason Isbell.

Tim said...

I would add Cody Jinks, Courtney Stoddard and Sarah Petite to modern country musicians worth listening to.