I thought the whole point of this endless country-music-in-the-shower sequence was to punctuate Wilbur's depression with music that emphasizes what a heartbroken loser he is. I mean, really, why else would we be subjected to this? So why would Wilbur sing this Johnny Cash song? "They call me bad news, because I'm bad news, breaking little girls' hearts who hate to see me go..." and so on and so forth. Maybe this marks the turning point for Wilbur. Maybe he'll turn into the next Zak, with unbounded confidence, dating a woman at least 20 years older than he is.
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Cheer up, Wilbur! As soon as you're through with the shower, make like comics legend Stan Lee and visit the massage therapist!
https://pagesix.com/2018/04/23/stan-lee-sued-by-massage-therapist-over-sexual-misconduct-allegations/
The idea of Wilbur breaking little girls' hearts makes me squirm. However, if he emulates Zak and wants to date woman at least 20 years his senior, Mary is always available.
Meanwhile, at a campground nearby, Iris pulls out the Santa Royale Times and searches fruitlessly for Ask Wendy and Survivor Stories. She was hoping to read the most hilarious excerpts to Zak and collapse in giggles.
Wilbur's got them ol' Lost Girlfriend, Dropped Columns, Maxed-Out Card, Gone Daughter, Dead Battery Blues.
Wilbur dreads Zak holdin' Beedie /
Calls a friend and starts to whine /
But he dare not drown his sorrows /
In Santa Royale Bay brine.
Okay, it's a stretch.
-- Scottie McW.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"Soggy Bottom Breakdown".
(Alone...)
"Well, Bad news travels like wildfire
Good news travels slow"...
**And it's slowLY! SlowLY! Adverbs, people. ADVERBS!
Why are Maren Koy and Bune Jigham subjecting us to this???? Do they think this is some erotic fantasy that we all want to see, like "Fifty Shades of Grey?" It's more like "Fifty Shades of Ugh."
I'm surprised Wilbur's skin hasn't fallen off from all the showers he's been taking. I'm hoping The Charterstone tenants complain to the Condo board that there's no water due to Wilbur's excessive showering.
It could be worse. He could be singing Karaoke and inflicting his misery on a whole roomful of people.
@Nance: I don’t think good grammar is a priority when writing country music lyrics.
The strip is becoming more overtly religious. Moy is warning us of the endless, repetitive torture that awaits us in the afterlife. Not so that we can do anything to avoid it. Nope, we're all fallen. She's get getting us ready.
@fauxprof--Oh, I know that. I don't think proper grammar is a priority when writing anymore, period. I, however, cannot in good conscience let an opportunity go by To Witness For The Language.
--Nance, trying to exercise considerable Restraint in not mentioning all of the things which are obviously Not A Priority in the writing of country music...
I think we are stuck in some sort of weird, infinite loop where something bad happens to Wilbur, and then he bolts to the shower.
I must say, bolting to the shower is a weird way to deal with stress. I usually shower to get clean, not pout about my life. I sometimes will take a bath to relax. I think most people do something relaxing to deal with stress, like engage in an enjoyable hobby, talk to friends, watch a movie, or just chill out. Some people turn to drugs or alcohol, which can turn out bad. I've never heard of someone just run to the shower when things go south.
I wonder if he knows about the concept of batteries. That would fix the radio.
Wilbur will soon realize what a great singer he is- even without the radio - and will hatch a plan to try out for "The Voice".
Anybody have any idea how much flexibility June has with her drawings? Does Karen demand that June depict Wilbur's endless showers? If it were up to me, I'd have him sitting at his kitchen table with a pile of sandwiches in front him and an open case of Hellman's on the counter.
Oh jeez, no, not The Voice. My husband and daughters watch that stupid show and keep score sheets where they vote and predict who will advance and win or whatever. Whatever singing I have heard on that show was either mediocre or outright caterwauling. And the background stories where the contestant says they are doing this in honor of their beloved granny who always supported them and died tragically of old age 10 years ago, I can't stand it.
Sorry, you touched a nerve here. And come to think of it, Wilbur is actually a perfect fit for that moronic show.
This showering business shows no awareness of real life. Besides moping doesn't work up that much of a sweat.
Maybe Wilbur is delivering his shower performance for a bigger audience than we know. I'm betting his bathroom fan is broken along with his radio, and he has to keep a window open or else the place fills up with mold and mildew. I predict his neighbors begin clamoring to hear him, but he can only sing in a bathtub, so he has to bring a portable shower enclosure with him wherever he performs, like that old episode of the Flintstones. http://www.topcartoons.tv/the-flintstone-canaries/
In the second panel, Wilbur is clearly scrubbing his butt.
This big baby is a real life sucker, yet he wonders why no one wants to hang out with him.
So. Much. SEXINESS! Can't. Take. It. Any. More.
You've got to sing for your supper.
I don't understand. Wilbur got bopped in the face with Iris' good news about moving on from their relationship almost the moment he got home it seems.
I live in California, and while we got a nice amount of rain this winter, we are still in a drought situation. Wilbur should be a lot more conscientious about his excessive water usage.
What would Wilbur ever do if he had true cause for grief like the banning of mayonnaise?
What do the words move on mean to him?
Meanwhile at the Galleria dell'Accademia in Florence:
Dawn: "This statue used to remind me of Dave. Now it reminds me of Harlan!"
Endless scenes of toady Wilbur in the shower are too hideous for publication. The only way it could be worse would be if Mary joined him. Shudder...
My biggest problem with all of this, snark aside, is that Maren Koy has never established any reason why Wilbur would be so broken up about losing a relationship that never seemed that important to him. For that matter no relationship in Worthverse seems important.
In other words she seems unaware of how real people act and think.
This storyline is really depressing me. I think I'll go and sing some Metallica in the shower.
Meanwhile, in the alternate timeline I am currently following in the Worthiverse, Iris has just broken up with Zak, the only positive thing in her life, because she saw him in the hallway with his friends, and everyone knows there's no going back in a relationship once that happens. She consoles herself by corresponding with her loser boyfriend who left her for Antarctica, and smothering her adult son, who stopped lying around the apartment taking Vicodin, and now sits around the apartment reading the Bible. Meanwhile, Dawn continues her age-inappropriate relationship with Harlan. People were simultaneously outraged and bored by this story, and I thought, it takes a certain kind of talent to create both apathy and antipathy in the same story. I'm not sure what kind of talent, but it is definitely a certain kind.
@ Carlyle, I was working in California during the worst of the drought a while back and internalized the messages regarding water conservation except that... I got a bit cynical about it on my commutes past large fields where they were literally spraying water into the sky or when I'd pass verdant green office parks with sprinkler systems leaking into the storm drains. At times like those, I questioned whether me cutting a minute or two off my shower was really the solution.
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