Tuesday, May 1, 2018

Mary Worth 2875

I know we all joked about Mary bringing muffins to Wilbur. We were joking. It was a joke. Not a suggestion.


KitKat said...

That little bottle is syrup of ipecac, Mary's secret ingredient. If someone eats too many muffins, the ipecac kicks in and solves things.

Why is Wilbur not answering such a concern for Mary? If her number came up on my phone, I wouldn't answer.

Nobody stacks freshly made muffins like that.

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

A friend in need is a friend indeed!

Maxwell Bacon said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Wanders, your secret message, "It's funny because it's stupid," was totally awesome! It applies to every single Mary Worth strip ever, and it's why I read MW! I love it!

I can't wait for the title of today's boldface haiku. The bolded words available promise an awesome text!

Why does it always have to be muffins? Mary used to make ghost pie. She could bring Wilbur over some chicken salad appetizers or vegetable terrine. After all that scotch, he needs the nourishment! I can't wait for Mary to find a drunken, slobbering, half-coherent Wilbur! This is going to be epic!

fauxprof said...

I really think those muffins need a longer baking time. They don’t seem to have browned appreciably.

We all knew it would come back to muffins. And platitudes. Who needs psychotherapy and AA?

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Mary Gets The Message About Her Muffins. Not".

Not. Message.

Anonymous said...

OMG! If you were writing a withering sarcastic parody of Mary Worth, this is exactly what you'd do right now! Call in the muffins! And it turns out that fictional life mirrors fictional fiction -- or something like that. This is truly priceless.

We've had two good laughs in the past few days -- the radio tragedy and now all-purpose muffin therapy. If it weren't for the absolutely brilliant earlier panel with the muffin on Ted Miller's head, this might rate as panel of the year.

-- Scottie McW.

Tim said...

Wouldn't it be best if Mary baked her muffins before bringing them to Wilbur? And how does she get uncooked muffin dough to hold its shape that way? I would like to see Drunken Wilbur go into an incoherent rage when Mary shows up.
And Wanders, are there any songs in your playlist by The Drunken Wilbur's? That would be a great name for a new Bluegrass Band.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@Maxwell Bacon: I was more thinking salmon squares. I'd love for Mary to come to door, muffins in hand and Wilbur just hurls on her.

Michael Beaumier said...

Says Mary, "My Muffin Sense® is tingling! Or maybe it’s my fibromyalgia. In any case, it’s time to bring this story line back to being about ME, baby."

LouiseF said...

Define the word "use" here, Mary. Is there anyone who actually NEEDS muffins? Just keep kidding yourself that your baked goods serve a purpose greater than adding several inches to your neighbors' waists... Love Mary's Freudian slip in the boldface haiku today...

Steve G said...

To make the scotch drinking worth while....

TOMORROW: Wilbur gets a phone call

Dawn: Hi Dad! I'm having a great time in Italy
Wilbur: Am glad to hear that, dear.

Dawn: Harlan and I got married!
Wilbur !!!

Anonymous said...

these Mary Muffuins are just what Wilbur needs:

Serves: 4
Time: 20 minutes
Difficulty: Easy

Muffins are good to eat anytime of the day, be it breakfast or as a snack, and if it’s freshly made and eaten, there’s just nothing like it. There are so many ways to make muffins but the weed muffins made from the cannabis plant are supposed to be a healthy option. Blueberries contain antioxidants that are very useful in neutralizing the free radicals in the body. They are low in fat, have lots of fibre, contain manganese, which is useful to convert fats and carbohydrates into energy. So Weed muffins seem to be a good thing.

½ cup 100 percent vegetable oil
6 grams ground cannabis or three grams full melt hash (no straining necessary)
½ a cup water
Cake Flour

Anonymous said...

To both Wanders and Maxwell Bacon: YES!!!!

TimP said...

Man, I sure hope that when I don't immediately pick up the phone, my friends and family don't immediately assume that there must be something terribly wrong. To be fair though, Mary is right to be concerned. Unfortunately, I fear the combination of Mary's dry, crumbly muffins and Wilbur's parched palate will present a serious choking hazard.

Peggy Olson said...

I have nothing new to add. Everyone’s comments have been hilarious. You’ve all made my day!

lmjb1964 said...

Who is this woman? She looks vaguely familiar...oh wait, right, that's the person this comic strip is supposedly about. It had been so long since we'd seen her, I'd almost forgotten.

It looks like that top muffin is floating off of the plate. Maybe gravity is somehow distorted around Mary. I see that Mary has unfortunately been stricken with the strange hand paralysis that has other Santa Royale residents holding their cell phone with the thumb and forefinger.