Monday, April 30, 2018

Mary Worth 2874

Congratulations to Karen Moy for creating a truthful character. Wilbur is right. No one does care about him. I know I don't. I'm only here because, after 2,874 blog posts, I feel an obligation to my fans.

27 comments:

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"For The Want Of Batteries, The Point (hic) Was Lost".

(Point sober?
Cares...)

r u ok? said...

So does this means that Mary's minor meddling (lookout point, platitudes about perspective, bags of muffins, etc.) FAILED?!?!

Anonymous said...


Wanders, we thank you for your service.

Yep, Wilbur's about to do something really stupid, so I hope he hurries up and gets on with it. We don't need to see another full week of self-pitying lead-up.

Meanwhile in Beautiful Italy, Harlan pours himself a scotch after a long day and thinks, "Man, my life couldn't be any better right now."

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...


@ r u ok?

No, Mary didn't fail. It's just that she could not have foreseen the broken radio tragedy. Followiing that kind of trauma, no amount of counseling could have prevented this spiral.

-- S. McW.

Tim said...

Any future development would be great provided it doesn't lead to a week of showing Wilbur poised over his toilet boil calling Ralph on the big white telephone. I suspect Wilbur is now officially a drunk, which will ultimately get Mary involved.

Toots McGee said...

This is weird. Wilbur asks “What’s the point of staying sober?” Does that not sound like something that someone would say if they had problems maintaining sobriety, perhaps even a person in active recovery? If this is part of Wilbur’s story, we’ve never heard of it. Yes, it’s Karen Moy and she just doesn’t seem to have lots of experience with contemporary human speech. Obviously, since Wilbur keeps a big cabinet full of booze around, he’s not averse to imbibing. Either that or he is in recovery and that ethos is yet another thing that Karen doesn’t quite grasp.

Anonymous said...

@ S.McW.
Mary will see the bright side of the beautiful daisies Wilbur will be pushing up. "How lovely Wilbur gifts us every spring with fresh flowers."

Tim said...

@Toots McGee Most excellent point but I don't think a recovering alcoholic would have a well stocked liquor cabinet. So I think the fact is Karen Moy doesn't know how real people talk. Getting drunk is a more likely response to Wilbur's petty problems than infinite showering. It would be nice if Moy allowed for people at Charterstone to have friendships.

Anonymous said...

Tomorrow Wilbur may be yelling, "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"

mr_darcy said...

Looking over the past week's panels. I have to give props to June Brigman. She's done a decent job drawing Wilbur's various expressions. If only the art served an actual story.

fauxprof said...

Don’t leave us, Wanders! Maybe you’d like to throw in an occasional reference to “Judge Parker”. Plenty of stuff happens, all of it bizarre, and calling for your brilliant brand of snark. But you know Mary Worth is your first love!

LouiseF said...

OK, it's Monday, and Wilbur is STILL drunk? He's going to lose the rest of his syndication if he doesn't pull himself together. I foresee a week of his answering "Ask Wendy" by referring to his OWN problems...

KitKat said...

I'm so glad you're back, Wanders. After your recent week of unfortunate occurrences, I worried that you took to the shower, although I doubt you'd wallow in self pity like Wilbur with his country songs. I picture you singing Broadway, maybe your version of "The Room Where It Happened." Anyway, your multitude of fans missed you!

Great comments today, everyone! I also wondered about the "staying sober" remark. Is Clueless KM introducing an "alcoholic Wilbur" plot device out of nowhere? Oh puh-leeze. The next thing we know, Mary will be suggesting Tommy Beedie as a sponsor and herself as a Higher Power..

Tim said...

I see Wilbur drunk dialling Mary to ask Mary if she'll take over Ask Wendy until he runs out of liquor. She'll say yes. Oh, and I don't think one instance of getting drunk counts as a binge.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

"Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life, son"-Dean Wormer "Animal House"

Wow, Wilbur starts his drinkin' early (At least I think it's daytime). Not sure if it's morning or night. I thought it was morning because Wilbur's boss called while he was eating breakfast. Then, I thought it was night because he was watching "Modern Family". It's hard to tell because Wilbur's been in the same filthy bathrobe for a week.

Wanders, some suggestion for the jukebox: "Alabama Song (Whiskey Bar)" by the Doors and "Drinking Again" by Bette Midler.

cobrasteve said...

Wil-drunk gets dui and begins state induced exercise program...

TimP said...

Wilbur is pretty clearly stone drunk. You can tell by the way he is blankly staring into that votive candle he's holding.

Also, thanks to Nance, Point Sober? Is going to be the name of my fly by night rehab clinic.

Sandi Ego said...

@Regina Wolfe-Parks - yes! Wilbur is Flounder.
Could this be the start of a "The Lost Weekend" arc? In the movie, the guy was a writer and it ended with him starting to write his novel about being a drunk.
A novel would surely impress Iris. But first we'd have to slog through all the episodes of hidden liquor bottles and pawning laptops before Mary convinces him to just stop drinking, for gosh sakes.

MDMaryTed said...

Oh oh! I know! Mary will stop his drinking by plying him with muffins!

Yahoonski said...

Tim & Toots: Maybe the liquor all belongs to Dawn.

Regina & Wanders: I can think of three appropriate Kinks tunes: "When Work Is Over" "Have Another Drink" and, of course "Demon Alcohol."

doug said...

Does Santa Royale have a dispensary now that weed's legal in California. I'd love to see Wilbur get the spins from drinking too much scotch after roasting a big fat j-bird.

doug said...

Also, if Wilbur spirals in to full blown alcoholism and then goes into rehab maybe Tommy can be his 12 step sponsor. That'll get him closer to Iris!

lmjb1964 said...

Great comments here, as always. S. McW @ 8:53AM made me LOL. And Nance, you're bold-face haiku have become one of the high points of my day.

I would just like to point out that the titular (heh heh, she said titular) character has not been seen for three weeks. We've had two weeks of Wilbur in his bathrobe, broken up by one shower. This is getting ridiculous. (OK, we've probably moved beyond "getting.") Sheesh.

lmjb1964 said...

Oops, that should say "your bold-face haiku." Although, Nance, you are the bold-face haiku.

Delilah said...

I would like to nominate "I'm Torn Down" by Eric Clapton for the Charterstone Jukebox.

Nance said...

@Imjb--I'm blushing. Thank you for your kind--and incredibly flattering--words.

@Tim P--If Maren Koy doesn't move on from this Sad Sack Wilbur crap soon, I'll be one of your first Residents!

Frumpenlats said...

It has been YEARS since I read this blog - can't believe it's still here! Wanders, you may need some advice from Mary about your obsession with her! LOL Seriously, glad to see you're still at it and glad to see Wilbur's finally gotten a !@#$% clue the dummy