Friday, April 27, 2018

Mary Worth 2879

Wilbur's neck wattle inflates when he gets angry.

37 comments:

fauxprof said...

Wilbur is about to turn green and Hulk out! He will pull on his battered, toddler-sized sneakers and track Iris and Zak to their sylvan camping spot and pelt them with stale Mary Muffins.

Anonymous said...


This keeps going from bad to worse. Now Wilbur's media are turning on him. First his local newspaper, then his transistor radio, and now his TV.

Maybe he should go back to Bogota. At least Fabiana pretended to like him.

-- Scottie McW.

Delilah said...

Wilbur is now sporting a chignon a la Miss Scarlett in GWTW. It's not workin' for you, buddy!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

We are witnessing Wilbur's slow descent into madness. Before he goes completely bonkers, he needs to have that goiter checked.

RobC said...

Where is Mary? Isn't this a strip about Mary Worth? Mary! Please! Bring Wilbur over some muffins!

Wilbur . o O (These muffins remind me of Iris' muffin top...)

KitKat said...

Tomorrow: Wilbur hauls his TV into the shower, squirts half a bottle of Axx body wash over it, and turns on the shower full blast.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Plot? Nowhere! Rats."

"Camping? Supplies!"
(Nope! Boy Toy!
Good Grief!)

Garnet said...

Whoa. Wilbur is looking a bit deranged right now.

Yahoonski said...

I wonder if Rick's sells camping EQUIPMENT, too?

Sandi Ego said...

From the goiter to the eyeglasses that appear to penetrate Wilbur's nose, this is a disturbing and discombobulating panel.

Anonymous said...


I like how Wilbur caps off his disgust by invoking his soul mate Charlie Brown.

-- S. McW.

Stuart said...

Never thought I would read "Boy Toy" I'm a Mary Worth strip.

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

Review past interactions for possible causes.

Anonymous said...

Wilbur! Take a ride down Kelrast Road.

Sharon said...

Saturday

Not locusts, Wilbur. Ants!

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

SATURDAY
If you find a cloud, look for the silver lining!
also
It's not nice to tempt MOTHER NATURE!

Anonymous said...


Oh man, now he's channeling Job. Can martyrdom be far behind?

Time for a long walk, Wilbur.

Off a short pier.

-- Scottie McW.

Mr. Pedantic said...

@Scottie McW.: Actually, he's alluding to the Book of Exodus.
Plus, his "problems" are not that big a deal. Dawn will come back (groan!), and he might find a new love interest (Mary at Lookout Point?), plus his columns are still running in lots of other newspapers (although we never see him writing). He should be careful not to tempt fate. An earthquake, mudslide, drought, or wildfire could definitely be in the making in Santa Royale!
I'm hoping he'll get connected with Tommy Beedie's old friends and start using. Or, he'll become a country singer, which would be really funny. (Probably, we'll get something a lot more boring than those scenarios.)

lmjb1964 said...

Please, oh please, let it be a plague of locusts. That might create some actual drama, plus, I would love to see how Brigman would draw a plague of locusts.

r u ok? said...

Dear Wendy, I'm feeling alone and depressed. What should I do?, Lonely
Dear Lonely,
1) Don't ever read the Santa Royale Times as they are working for Satan
2) Don't leave your home as you might run into an ex and feel worse
3) Take lot's of showers while listening to Country music
4) Watch TV - then scream at the TV
5) Be selfish, believe you are helpless and complain that the world is against you
6) Repeat 2-5

How does Wilbur answer Dear Wendy questions? And how can anyone really feel sympathy for him?

Steve G said...

Finally - something Wilbur does that I can agree with...

You mean I have to change out of my bathrobe and go down to CVS to buy batteries for my shower radio? ...
I’d rather drink!

Peggy Olson said...

Mr. Pedantic, based on Sunday's column, Wilbur is too lazy to hit the streets in search of Tommy's street sources. He's hitting his well-stocked liquor cabinet instead!

Don't you love the Sunday quote? Yes, if you're as depressed and self-pitying as Wilbur, nothing's more uplifting than a quote by Existentialist Albert Camus!

Sharon said...

SUNDAY

Macallan is for sissies, Wilbur. Time to ramp it up to Laphroaig.

Marymyhero said...

I almost choked on my coffee -- he includes his shower radio in his list of woes...he's so complex! He makes me think of that sweet childhood song, "Nobody likes me, everybody hates me, think I'll eat some worms..."

fauxprof said...

Not to get dark here, but if Moy is about to trivialize depression and alcoholism into something that can be cured by Mary and her patented platitudes, she’s reached a new low.

KitKat said...

Sunday
So KM is doing product placement for scotch, hmm? We may never see ersatz brands like Splak ever again.

If Wilbur’s Big List o’ Woes had ended with the Santa Royale Times dropping his columns, he would have sought solace at his fridge. The non-working shower radio has tipped him over the edge into the well-stocked booze cabinet. Who knew the Weston apartment had one? Even more astounding, who knew Wilbur would muffle his sorrows in something besides muffins?

Tomorrow: Mary wonders why the recycling bin in the trash room is overflowing with liquor bottles.

Sandi Ego said...

I'm willing to bet Wilbur is not a fun drunk. Why can't we go camping with Iris and Zak instead?

Anonymous said...

Cue: Helen Clark - she can hear a cap coming off a whiskey bottle from 10 miles away. She's got plenty of dough so Wilbur won't need a job. A perfect match!

meg said...

Like the Avengers, every resident of Charterstone has a superpower. Ian’ s superpower is his sense of hearing. And, when, from three buildings away, Ian heard the bottle of Th’ twal year auld Macallan being opened, he rang Wilbur’s doorbell within thirty seconds.

“Awrite, Wilbur, woods ye loch to shaur a wee bevvy and teel Dr. Cameron yer troobles? I’ve broought a poke ay haggis chips take shaur.”

meg said...

Anonymous: I never knew about Helen Clark! Did she and Ian ever shaur a wee drinkie?

Anonymous said...


Aye, 'twas the radio what pushed 'im o'er the side, it was. (I have no idea why I went all pirate there. It just seemed right.)

I've got to give Moy credit. I too laughed (almost out loud) when I read that he capped off his litany of grief with the radio. Well done, Karen! I take it all back.

So where do we go from here? Willy staggers into Mary's apartment looking for solace? He drunk-dials Iris? Or Dawn? Or the S.R. Times? Or Fabiana? He pukes in Mary's rose bushes?

Can't wait.

-- Scottie McW.

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

When you need to drown your sorrows, do it in the shower, not in the bottom of a bottle.

lmjb1964 said...

I too laughed out loud when I read that the radio not working was the thing that pushed him over the edge. But maybe there were some even more traumatic problems that Moy didn't mention, like, "And I wanted to have a bowl of cereal, but I was out of milk! And then I tried to brush my teeth, but I couldn't get any toothpaste out because it was all squished down into the wrong end!" Then we really would have understood his deep, deep pain.

WIlbur needs to realize that his troubles come from the fact that he is completely self-absorbed. Suck it up, WIlbur, and stop thinking about yourself for maybe five minutes!!

@Sharon: Forget Laphroaig. He should move straight to Everclear.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I’m betting Wilbur drunk dials Iris and starts crying and singing country and western songs, which even makes Iris more determined to stay with Zak.

Why does Wilbur keep adding Fabiana as all of the things he lost? You dumped her for grifting you remember? He’s such a pathetic dope.

Tim said...

This is Chekhov's whiskey-a foreshadowing of Wilbur's future as a slobbering drunk leading to an intervention by Mary and everybody else in Charterstone. Sadly, Toby will be drunk on gin at the intervention.

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Why all the hating on Wilbur? The poor guy's in a funk. It can happen to any of us. (I feel the need to stick up for my dad!) As for drink of choice, Wilbur, I highly recommend a margarita poolside at Charterstone. Or, if you can't get a margarita, s strawberry daiquiri is always nice!

Garnet said...

Why does he think he "lost" Fabiana? I'm no relationship expert, but given that she was pretending to like him to bilk money and expensive jewelry from him, I think it's fair to say he never 'had' her in the first place.