Friday, May 4, 2018

Mary Worth 2878

Today's strip brings back a vivid childhood memory.

When I was eight or nine, my parents took me and my two younger brothers, and two of our cousins on a camping trip. They pulled a small silver camp trailer with our brown, faux-wood-paneled station wagon. On the way home, they decided to take us to the beach along the California coast. Dad set up the trailer atop a cliff overlooking the ocean, and June Brigman has captured the setting perfectly. It was a gray, chilly day, and the beach below the cliffs was utterly deserted.

Dad was with us boys down on the shore and asked me to go up to the trailer for something, where Mom was caring for the baby. I climbed the cliff trail, and as I approached the trailer, I could see mom engaged in conversation with a man who had arrived at the beach after us. The man walked away as I approached, and mom took me into the trailer and very calmy handed me a note she had written. "Wes," she said, "Please take this note to your dad."

I returned to the beach and handed Dad the note. Dad read the note, and his eyes got huge with alarm. His expression was just like Mary's in panel 2. "Okay everybody! We're leaving! Come on! Right now!"

We didn't know what was going on, and we were disappointed to leave, even if the weather was bad. Dad rushed us up the cliff, tossing all of our gear quickly into the trailer. As Dad hit the accelerator, the car bumped over the dirt parking lot, and my cousin Rod looked out the window and screamed, "That man is naked!" There at the top of the cliff was a middle-aged man, buck naked, watching us drive away. All of us boys laughed hysterically at that crazy man without any clothes. My parents explained what a nude beach was, and we thought it was the stupidest thing we'd ever heard.

37 comments:

Anonymous said...


Has Wilbur hit rock bottom, literally as well as figuratively?

-- Scottie McW.

Delilah said...

Great story, Wanders! Makes me wonder what Mary is "oh-my-goodnessing" about. Is this beach a nude beach as well? Has Mary spotted Wilbur in the altogether?

KitKat said...

Wanders, your anecdote really got my attention. I'm glad it turned out to be a hilarious family memory instead a menacing one.

Who else thought of Waldo when they read "Where's Wilbur?" today? I'd love to see it, but I doubt we'll soon see Wilbur wearing round glasses, a scarf, and little else. Since tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo, maybe Wilbur will have spelled out "Adios Iris" in empty liquor bottles on Lookout Point.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Wanders, I was in the middle of eating a cannoli and almost choked on it, trying to contain my laughter. I thought you were going to tell us a tragedy happened that day. Now I have a picture of a naked, greased up Wilbur in my head. (I'm glad it's not a floating head.)

I picture your father taking off like when people see Herman Munster. That's what Mary should do.

Tim said...

Wilbur's eating a Tim Horton's muffin.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Literally, A Cliffhanger".

(Where's?
Oh my goodness!)



Great story, Wanders. While I doubt Mary sees Wilbur in his Altogether, I'm sure he's not at the bottom of Lookout Point, either. Probably just standing at the edge, slobbering and teetering. And blubbering. Ugh.

KitKat said...

A coincidence: The Story Corps feature on NPR’s Morning Edition today is about a couple who met at a nudist club.

Anonymous said...

You know your life is boring when the most exciting thing to happen in years, is happening in a comic strip.

meg said...

Today is the day Wilbur has chosen for the US debut of his Speedo. And he looks no better in it than he did at Playa de Bogota. OMG, indeed.

fauxprof said...

I, too, was expecting a tragic tale, Wanders. However, the mental image of Wilbur drunkenly cavorting on a nude beach is even more horrifying than a sober Wilbur in his Speedo. At least we have clouds of steam in the shower.

And, for my fellow nerds in our little community, Happy Star Wars Day! May the fourth be with you!.

MissScarlet said...

I'm pretty sure I know the beach you visited, Wanders. But I must say, in my day we didn't visit on cold days.

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

Seek and you shall find!

Anonymous said...


SATURDAY

Look, Wilbur's having scotch on the rocks. [rimshot]

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...

Okay everyone, you might as well save your comments for Sunday. Scottie McW. wins today by a landslide.

Maxwell Bacon said...

Mary, just give him a little push! "Ask Wendy" will be YOURS!

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

Look before you leap!

Yahoonski said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KitKat said...

I fear that Mr. Allora’s long-overdue appearance this week will be left on the cutting-room floor on Sunday.

KitKat said...

SUNDAY
“I’m here now and I’m listening. First, answer two questions. Do you have a full bottle of scotch handy? And who in blazes is Fabiana?”

Dawn Weston's Evil Twin said...

Whew! It's not a cliffhanger, it's a cliff-sitter! My nerves can't take this! ... I need a margarita poolside! ... STAT!

Maxwell Bacon said...

Could we please have a mini-mudslide at Lookout Point? Now? Please? Just enough for Mary and Wilbur to go ... PLOP!

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

Two's company, three's a crowd!

Yahoonski said...

KitKat: I don't know about her asking for scotch, but I too would have predicted that when Wilbur's litany of sorrows finally concluded, Mary's first words would have been "Who's Fabiana?"

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

KitKat and Yahonski, I agree about Mary asking “who is Fabiana and why did you never tell me about her. How dare you don’t mention pertinent information for me to use as meddling material”.

I’m waiting for Wilbur to tell her that the tipping point was his shower radio not working.

doug said...

Wilbur, you didn't lose Fabiana. She was never interesting in anything other than separating you from your money.

Anonymous said...


MONDAY

Wanders, where are you? We feel alone, abandoned, and rejected.

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...

Yeah...forget Waldo, and Wilbur...where's Wanders?????

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Wanders, we hope you’re not sitting on a cliff singing country and western songs. Maybe we need Mary’s meddle-sense to locate him.

I am loving this Wilbur. Drunk, disheveled, being a big fat baby. “Wah, I’m a loser.” Do us a favor and jump.

I have a suggestion for the jukebox: “Loser” by Beck

Anonymous said...

P U. Wilbur needs a shower.

TimP said...

Y'all will have to forgive me for having spent almost all of my life living on flat prairie and coastal planes lands. That said, is sitting on a cliff and drinking a thing to do out on the Pacific Coast?

As in, if I suspected a close friend (or someone from whom I derived a weird satisfaction in meddling with their life) didn't answer their phone and I thought something was amiss, my first reaction would be to send a text or leave a voice mail, not immediately go out to Ye Olde Drinkin' 'N Thinkin' cliffs to look for them.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

TimP, I agree. If you're so concerned about your neighbor, you call the police, tell them the friend is over the edge (no pun intended) and let them do a welfare check. How does Mary know that Wilbur's at the "Ye Olde Thinkin' and Drinkin" cliffs in the first place? She only took Wilbur there once.

Wilbur should also be arrested for drunk driving as well. Does KM even think the way a real, normal human being thinks? Is she a robot, disguised as a human? The reason I ask is that she has absolutely no idea how the world works.

LouiseF said...

Hmmm... "If Tomorrow Never Comes"...The lyrics have nothing to do with Wilbur's relationship with either Iris or Fabiana. Think KM is maybe trying (unsuccessfully, I'm afraid) to broaden her appeal to country music fans. Get Wilbur a new radio, quick. At least he might contain his caterwauling to the shower, where his main hazard might be slipping on the soap.

MissScarlet said...

Yesterday Mary was sitting. Today she is standing. Is she trying to make a break for it?

lmjb1964 said...

Maybe the excitement of the story was too much for Wanders. He had to take a break.

Love "Ye Olde Drinkin' 'N Thinkin' cliffs." I wonder if there's a sign for that, just past the one for Lookout Point.

Are those giant icicles at the bottom of the cliff in panel 1? Stalagmites? One again, June Brigham has shown that drawing water is not her thing.

Maureen Fisher said...

"I Believe I Can Fly"

Garnet said...

Heh. "Ye Olde Drinkin' N' Thinkin' Cliffs."

Some people will drink in questionable locations. I found a bunch of beer and liquor containers quite close to the edge of a cliff in the mountains of Alberta once. There were no barriers or anything to keep people off of the cliff.

Drinking and driving pretty much does make Wilbur a big loser. Does he also forget he ditched Iris in the first place? I wouldn't date a man who ditched me so easily for another woman either. And blubbering over Dawn going overseas for three months really makes him pathetic. He was away from home for a year, but if she's the one who gets to travel and do something interesting, he acts like a big baby over it.

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

"Loser" is in the eye of the beholder-- Wilbur, we wuv you!