Monday, May 7, 2018

Mary Worth 2879

I'm traveling on business this week. I'm in Salt Lake City. We had a backyard picnic tonight and Ryan Shupe and the Rubberband played an awesome concert just for our group. They were rowdy and hilarious (check them out on Spotify), but when they played this song, I couldn't help but think of Wilbur:

26 comments:

It's a ROBOT said...

WILBUR, WE WUV YOU!

Anonymous said...

...yeah, but you ARE a LOSER!"

Anonymous said...


We've gone from déjà shower mope to déjà cliff mope. Yeah, Moy, we get it. Been there, done that. Can we move on now?

-- Scottie McW.

KitKat said...

Wilbur’s going to keep mentioning Fabiana until Mary asks about her.

This would be a good time for a landslide to happen on Lookout Point.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I'm sick of Wilbur and his pity party. Let's examine his sorrows one by one:

Iris: They decided to take a break. Then he dumped her for Fabiana the grifter. Iris got upset, but moved on. What did he expect, that she was pining away from him because he's so attractive and fascinating?

Fabiana: Wilbur thinks she loves him for his personality and his good looks. We find out she loves him only loves his wallet and what's in it. He dumps her after being scammed out of an emerald. Why does he keep saying he lost her?

Dawn: Sheesh! Dawn is 35 years old if she's a day. Does he think she's going to live with him forever? He had no qualms about leaving her for a year to gallivant on the Bogota Beach with Fabiana and talk to the penguins in Antarctica.

His job: He did lose his job, he just lost syndication in the Santa Royal Pennysaver. He's still getting a paycheck to do absolutely nothing. Why is he moaning over this? He's always handing the job over to Mary anyway. He's just crying over this because Iris will no longer be able to read his "brilliant" musings.

Shower radio: Get some new batteries, you numbskull!

People all over face worse adversity than Wilbur. Put on your big boy panties and move on. If I was Mary, I'd just push him off the cliff and go on to the next meddle on her list. How about Mr. Allora? He looks like he's been putting on weight. He might have a problem that's causing him to eat. Go to it, Mary!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Oops, meant "didn't lose his job". Wishful thinking.

Johnny Culver said...

@Regina, you are right! 100% right!

LouiseF said...

Thanks for the summary/reality check, Regina! Actually, today's strip looks like Wilbur MAY have more to worry about than his current list. Apparently his eyes are gone.... Can't wait to see Nance's haiku today....

fauxprof said...

Beautiful analysis, Regina. I particularly loved your advice to Wilbur. He should indeed pull on his big boy panties—I think that should mean boxers, though, not tightie whities, and definitely not a Speedo!

Sandi Ego said...

That panel, though! Mary from on high with the purple clouds looking down on dishevelled drunken Wilbur. I'm feeling the "It's A Wonderful Life" vibe even more. Say it, Wilbur! Say you wish you'd never been born at all!

Tim said...

I think this storyline is coming dangerously close to trivializing suicide just like the Ted the Character storyline trivialized sexual assault.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Aww thanks all. In am so sick of Wilbur's "poor poor pitiful me". It has dragged on way too long. There's got to be other characters to focus on other than Wilbur, Dawn and Iris. How about Mary goes on a cruise again and meddles with married men succumbing to Entertainer Esme's charms?

Anonymous said...


@Tim

Tim, I don't see how Moy is trivializing suicide. Mary's not cracking jokes about it. It all seems pretty depressing.

If anything, you could say the rest of us are trivializing it, although I'm not buying that either. We're just having fun with a comic strip. We don't have to be dead serious about serious matters all the time, and there's nothing wrong with having fun with this. Lighten up a bit, my man.

-- Scottie McW.

Anonymous said...

DEAD serious?

Anonymous said...


@ Anon 1:36 p.m.

I see you see what I did there.

-- S. McW.

Anonymous said...

I think this storyline is putting Macallan Scotch in a bad light and I would think the Edrington Group would want to have a word with Karen Moy about it.

TimP said...

@Anonymous at 2:42, it is rather curious isn't it? A strip that couldn't bring itself to use Paul Newman's good name has no issues being quite specific as to Wilbur's particular brand of rocket fuel.

Does anyone recall whether Aldo was similarly specific with respect to his booze or did he just grab a handle of bottom shelf whiskey?

lmjb1964 said...

Regina has hit all of the nails on the head.

I'm assuming "I'm a Loser" is already on the Charterstone jukebox?

Tim isn't the first person to feat the Moy would trivialize suicide. Judging from past storylines, which had people upset with her trivial treatment of other issues (sexual harassment, the opioid crisis, faculty having inappropriate relationships with students, etc., etc.), the fear is probably not unfounded.

I was also concerned about WIlbur'e lack of eyes. Gives new meaning to the phrase "blind drunk." Of course, Mary's eyeballs have gone missing as well, but as least she still has her eye sockets.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

I think TimP is onto something. Judging from KM’s cavalier attitude about serious matters, she would (and has with Aldo) trivialize suicide. Like I’ve said KM has no idea how the real world works. As someone who has experienced sexual harassment, I was angered how she just made it like it was a minor inconvenience. I have no doubt if Wilbur jumped, she would have Mary just move on like nothing happened.

As I recall, Aldo’s drink of choice was Jack Daniel. I think he even said they were friends. (Too lazy to look.)

Michael Beaumier said...

Jeez, I’ve never seen Mary straight-up lie to someone like this — why don’t you tell him he’s tall and blond too, why not?

Anonymous said...

Scottie McW. Thank you for saying what I've wanted to for months... you are so right. This IS just a comic strip. People need to lighten up. Or, if they want real grief, go away and read the daily news.

Anonymous said...


Thank you, Anon at 8:11. The Perpetually Offended Insensitivity Police need to remove the sticks from their backsides. Enough with this "trivializing" nonsense.

-- S. McW.

Anonymous said...

All of you odd people who have trouble with the word trivialize really need to lighten up... Perhaps look up the meaning of the word? There is nothing wrong with pointing out a comic strip is trivializing a serious issue (which it is, and has done repeatedly with other issues), in fact it is even FUN to point out.

Maxwell Bacon said...

Wilbur's livin' large! Life on the edge! Gotta dig that!

Platitude-Generating Robot said...

Well, my work is done for today. Mary Worth has turned into a platitude-generating robot, so I don't have to!

Maureen Fisher said...

Poor Poor Pitiful Me https://g.co/kgs/TTcSe4