This dinner could be a segue into the next story. Toby and Ian have a tiff in fonrt of Mary and Wilbur. No, wait, that would take actual writing. What was I thinking?
@Scottie McW--A special Pat On The Back to you for your treatise in defense of the Oxford Comma! I read Mary's invitation the same way with Toby as the Noun Of Address. I love a little Grammar Nerdery in the morning.
A less awkward construction would have been “The Camerons and I...”, leading Wilbur to ask “Who are the Camerons?” Wilbur, you see, takes very little interest in people other than himself, and has never bothered to learn last names. He can be forgiven in the case of Zak, who still doesn’t have a last name (unless it’s “Iks”).
So NOW they want to take Wilbur out for dinner!! When he was down and out, without batteries for his shower radio, where were Mary and the Camerons then?! fauxprof: think we should always refer to Ian and Toby as"the Camerons" even in the singular. Toby could be "Cameron 1" and Ian could be "Cameron 2", sort of like Dr. Seuss' "Thing 1" and "Thing 2", but with green astroturf outfits instead of red and blue... This might help Wilbur learn their last names.
Toby: Wilbur, you remember Iris Beedie, don't you? I think she lives in one of the units near you. Well I just saw her with her new beau, and she looks sooo in love. I mean, the hussy is definitely robbing the cradle, but she seems so happy. I'm kind of surprised she never met anyone in her own age group. Not that I should talk. Too bad she's already taken, Wilbur, because you two might have made a good match. But that'll never happen now, right?
The correct subtext would be: Wilbur, I want to take you out to dinner. Ian and Toby will be joining us. I swear KM uses Google Translate and she's using it very badly. She needs to get out more and see how real people talk.
I am annoyed that Wilbur was on the brink of suicide two weeks ago and now he's all happy again because the newspaper returned his lousy columns. KM, that's not how depression works. Does this woman know ANYTHING about the real world? I'm starting to think she's an android.
Indeed, this is clearly indicative of him basically having thrown a massive snit because the universe was momentarily not entirely centered around himself.
Mary: DON'T feel bad. Just promise me THIS, Wilbur ...
... Don't tell Dr. Jeff! I'd like to have a fun evening out at the Bum Boat without that dullard!
... Don't talk with your mouth full at the restaurant. I don't want to be embarrassed in front of Toby and Ian!
... Don't order any alcohol. It wouldn't be a good idea, after that episode up on Lookout Point! Plus, I don't want to have to pay for it. The Bum Boat's prices went up!
At the end of the evening, Ian and Wilbur stagger out of the Bum Boat, arm in arm, singing Show Me the Way to Go Home (I’m tired and I wanna go to bed; I had a little drink about an hour ago, and it went right to my head).
@fauxprof at 9:25 a.m., I think a boffo surname for Zak is Zoiks. 0 Add me to the people who read Mary's statement as her calling Wilbur Toby. Overdue for your eye exam, Mary? Visit Medical Practice stat!
Indicate the way to my residence, I'm fatigued and I wish to retire. I had a little beverage sixty minutes ago And it went right to my cerebellum.
Wherever I may perambulate, Over land or sea or atmospheric vapor, You can always hear me a-warbling this lullaby, Indicate the way to my paternal domicile.
22 comments:
So Mary will be Wilbur's date at dinner?
Mary should promise to throw away that circa 1966 vest.
Uh, my name's not Toby, it's Wilbur.
What?
You called me Toby.
No I didn't.
Yes you did. I heard it plain as day. "Toby, Ian and I want to take you out to dinner."
I was talking about Toby.
But I'm Wilbur.
You know what? Never mind, jerk.
-- Scottie McW.
This dinner could be a segue into the next story. Toby and Ian have a tiff in fonrt of Mary and Wilbur. No, wait, that would take actual writing. What was I thinking?
Who's Mary talking to, a fly on the ceiling?
Toby and I enjoy a fine whine. May I suggest a tete-a-tête-à-tête at The Lying Snail?
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"And The Charterstone Intervention Society Lurches To Life".
Toby, Ian, I--dinner!
Like. Thanks. Grateful...embarrassed!
Don't. This...
@Scottie McW--A special Pat On The Back to you for your treatise in defense of the Oxford Comma! I read Mary's invitation the same way with Toby as the Noun Of Address. I love a little Grammar Nerdery in the morning.
I'm hoping Mary asks Wilbur about Fabiana at dinner - Wilbur mentioned "losing" her but nosy Mary hasn't meddled into that part of Wilbur's past, yet.
@Nance.
Thanks.
Eats, Shoots, and Leaves.
-- S. McW.
A less awkward construction would have been “The Camerons and I...”, leading Wilbur to ask “Who are the Camerons?” Wilbur, you see, takes very little interest in people other than himself, and has never bothered to learn last names. He can be forgiven in the case of Zak, who still doesn’t have a last name (unless it’s “Iks”).
So NOW they want to take Wilbur out for dinner!! When he was down and out, without batteries for his shower radio, where were Mary and the Camerons then?! fauxprof: think we should always refer to Ian and Toby as"the Camerons" even in the singular. Toby could be "Cameron 1" and Ian could be "Cameron 2", sort of like Dr. Seuss' "Thing 1" and "Thing 2", but with green astroturf outfits instead of red and blue... This might help Wilbur learn their last names.
PLEASE - not a another recap week / month.
Toby: What have you been up to Wilbur?
Wilbur: Well...
This could go on through Labor Day.
AT DINNER:
Toby: Wilbur, you remember Iris Beedie, don't you? I think she lives in one of the units near you. Well I just saw her with her new beau, and she looks sooo in love. I mean, the hussy is definitely robbing the cradle, but she seems so happy. I'm kind of surprised she never met anyone in her own age group. Not that I should talk. Too bad she's already taken, Wilbur, because you two might have made a good match. But that'll never happen now, right?
Waitress: More wine, sir?
Wilbur: Keep 'em coming.
-- Scottie McW.
The correct subtext would be: Wilbur, I want to take you out to dinner. Ian and Toby will be joining us. I swear KM uses Google Translate and she's using it very badly. She needs to get out more and see how real people talk.
I am annoyed that Wilbur was on the brink of suicide two weeks ago and now he's all happy again because the newspaper returned his lousy columns. KM, that's not how depression works. Does this woman know ANYTHING about the real world? I'm starting to think she's an android.
@ Regina,
Indeed, this is clearly indicative of him basically having thrown a massive snit because the universe was momentarily not entirely centered around himself.
Fifty shades of purple ... again!
Mary: DON'T feel bad. Just promise me THIS, Wilbur ...
... Don't tell Dr. Jeff! I'd like to have a fun evening out at the Bum Boat without that dullard!
... Don't talk with your mouth full at the restaurant. I don't want to be embarrassed in front of Toby and Ian!
... Don't order any alcohol. It wouldn't be a good idea, after that episode up on Lookout Point! Plus, I don't want to have to pay for it. The Bum Boat's prices went up!
... Don't--
Wilbur: Wait! How much more do I have to promise?
My real worry -- That this lunch with Toby and Ian will include a surprise Iris! (minus Zak). Fingers crossed.....
At the end of the evening, Ian and Wilbur stagger out of the Bum Boat, arm in arm, singing Show Me the Way to Go Home (I’m tired and I wanna go to bed; I had a little drink about an hour ago, and it went right to my head).
Mary and Toby walk behind them, carrying a sign that says WE DON’T KNOW THEM.
@fauxprof at 9:25 a.m., I think a boffo surname for Zak is Zoiks.
0
Add me to the people who read Mary's statement as her calling Wilbur Toby. Overdue for your eye exam, Mary? Visit Medical Practice stat!
Mary, I didn't know you and Ian were an item.
meg:
Indicate the way to my residence,
I'm fatigued and I wish to retire.
I had a little beverage sixty minutes ago
And it went right to my cerebellum.
Wherever I may perambulate,
Over land or sea or atmospheric vapor,
You can always hear me a-warbling this lullaby,
Indicate the way to my paternal domicile.
Courtesy of my mother. Ah, memories!
Love it Jana!
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