Wednesday, May 30, 2018

Mary Worth 2896

"Because no one has ever felt judged while singing karaoke, and everyone feels better about their self when they do. But if you're feeling self-conscious, just take off your clothes and imagine you're in the shower at home."

21 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go ahead and kill her, Wilbur. There's not a jury in the world that would convict you.

KitKat said...

Karaoke, hmm? I hate it when our prediction is correct because it’s scary to think like Karen Moy.

“Without fear of judgment”? That must be why the people in panel 2 are fleeing. I hope a drunk-as-a-skunk Ian hoots Wilbur off the stage, or platform, or whatever he stands on. And how did Mary arrange this showcase? Did she choose the music? If so, just wait till she starts belting her take on “Gypsies, Tramps, and Thieves.”

Anonymous said...


Wow, I did not see this coming at all. Good one, Moy.

"Why don't you karaoke with me, Mary?"

"No way, Wilbur. I'm not THAT pathetic. But you get up there and have a good time. I know we will."

-- Scottie McW.

RobC said...

In Japan they have little karaoke rooms the size of closets that fit four friends and all the sake you want.

In America it's usually an empty stage at one end of a cavernous bar with not enough booze to go around ...

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"So Of Course Med Tiller, Country Music Producer, Will Be There And Offer Wilbur A Contract After He Performs (I've Got) Friends In Low Places".

Karaoke?
You. Sing shower. Without judgment!
That!

Peggy Olson said...

A true friend would go up to the mike first and make a fool of herself. Everyone would laugh, cheer her on and have a great time. Then, Wilbur would take his turn and really enjoy himself.

No, she arranges to throw Wilbur up on stage totally unprepared in front of a cold, hostile audience. Mary is a horrible friend.

fauxprof said...

I don’t recall Wilbur telling Mary about singing in the shower, but that doesn’t matter. Everyone at Charterstone knows that Wilbur sings in the shower. The walls are made of cardboard and Kleenex. Mary knows, Ian and Toby know, Tommy and Iris (when she’s home) know, Mr. Allora working out in the garden knows. They also know why there hasn’t been enough hot water to wash a dish in weeks.

....and they’re all there, waiting in the shadows, ready to be really, really nonjudgmental.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Everyone’s comments are so above par today. There is no way I can top them. Nance, I am still laughing at you haiku title.

Like everyone else I didn’t see this one coming. I don’t remember Wilbur talking about his scrub a dub dub singing either. But like fauxprof said the walls in Charterstone are as thin as tissue. (I can only imagine what people hear coming out of Iris’ apartment.) I want Wilbur to get up there and people start throwing stuff at him and the proverbial hook comes out and pulls him off stage.

Like everyone else I want to know what “friend” would subject a friend to possible ridicule. I’m hoping Ian gets up there and does a drunken Scottish ditty.

Tim said...

Mary will be singing Proud Mary, what else could she sing? She was a huge CCR fan.

KitKat said...

Wanders, please bookmark today's Boldface Haiku for Worthy Awards high consideration. Not only is the choice of bold-facing in the haiku itself exceptional, Nance hit it out of the park with her title. Yay!!

BTW, I noted yesterday that MW and Me is international - regular commenter Garnet lives in CANADA! Another big yay!!!

LouiseF said...

May every song Wilbur picks to sing be missing from this "showcase"..And how lame IS this? Mary takes credit for "arranging a special showcase"?! I think all she had to do was read the bar listings in the Santa Royale WeekEntertainer to find out where the karaoke was...No wonder they were serving burgers and fries at this establishment. Nothing goes with amateur singing like junk food.

Carlye said...

Just before Wilbur gets up to belt out "Your Cheating Heart", Iris and Zak will get up to do a duet of "I've Got You, Babe", or "Your Precious Love". Please, please, let it be so.

Maxwell Bacon said...

Are we starting a "Wilbur becomes a country music star" plot? That would be AWESOME!
If not, could the next "plot" focus on new characters who move to Santa Royale? Please, pretty please?

Nance said...

@Regina Wolfe-Parks--Oh, thank you. Only in the Worthiverse, as you well know, could all of it be Not So Very Farfetched At All.

@KitKat--You are too kind. Really.

*Isn't it Icky that Mary et al seem to be aware of Wilbur's shower singing, however it happened? And that they are now encouraging it to be in a Public Venue? Hm.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

It would be even funnier if Wilbur can only sing in the shower like Barney Rubble. Mary solves this problem by having management bring out a portable shower.

Wanders said...

Or a fire hose.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Hahaha Wanders!

lmjb1964 said...

Great comments and BFH. Wilbur did mention singing in the shower to Mary; I remember because people commented on it and were like, ewwww. But no one would assume that someone who sings in the shower wants to sing in public, in front of other people. And no one who likes someone tells that person, "Surprise! You're going to get up on stage and sing in front of drunk people, whether you want to or not!" And speaking of drunk people, since many people have to get drunk in order to get the guts to sing karaoke, isn't she encouraging his drinking? I bet once he starts drinking he realizes he's still pathetic and still doesn't have Iris, and ends up at Lookout Point again. Sheesh.

My vote for the next plot is anything that does not involve Wilbur. And if he takes off his clothes to sing karaoke, I'm leaving. (Loved the Barney Rubble reference, btw, Regina!)

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Thanks Imjb1964. I’d love to sit down with KM and find out her thought process with the stories. What sane person would take someone to a crummy burger/karaoke bar and surprise them with they’re going to get up on stage and sing. KM needs to see Dr. Sweater Therapist.

I keep thinking of Wilbur on The Gong Show doing the “Gene Gene the Dancing Machine” dance as everyone throws trash at him.



Anonymous said...

I've been reading this strip since I was a girl and I. HAVE. NEVER. UNDERSTOOD. WHY.
It was a Dark Secret as a teen. My friends would have judged. Almost forgotten and assumed long dead (as my local paper cancelled MW decades ago), a few months ago, I stumbled across an internet archive of forgotten comics and the squeaky basement door re-opened on the Hate-Reading of my youth, pulled me back in with a beckoning claw and poor wretch that I am (sob!), I binge-hate-read ~all~ the years of the humdrum Worthi-verse in the space of a few dark, dark weeks.

Years ago, my husband and I booked a last-minute stay at the last place available in a town full of families celebrating college graduations. On the internet, it looked like a typical suburban backsplit. When we arrived in the dark, after the graduation celebrations, the host couple greeted us, framed in the doorway like American Gothic and silently led us to a room in the basement evidently vacated by an escaped inmate, with twin beds covered in thin pompom bedspreads, a hand-painted giant Barney the dinosaur on the wall and a bare light bulb in the ceiling. It was freezing and the beds. would. not. push. together. We hardly slept. Over breakfast, the owners looked us over and smiled knowingly at our obvious exhaustion, saying they understood people like us needed a quiet getaway once in a while... to 'escape it all'. ~I~ escaped to search for a cash machine, leaving my husband behind as security for almost two hours. I later learned that in my absence, he was indoctrinated into the world of cranberry glass. We knew we had been marked by this experience. I now also know this was a portal into the Worthiverse.

I don't know why you read and mock, but I read and mock to keep myself sane. Yes, Maren Koy is a truly terrible writer, but she gets her material from somewhere... They walk among us.

In solidarity.

Sandi Ego said...

Anonymous, that is a terrifying travel story. Now I'm scared there are other portals to the Worthiverse. Thanks, there goes my good night's sleep.
And Mary really hates Wilbur, doesn't she?