We'll help him, like when we helped him get addicted to Vicodin.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled"Iris Gets Real And Mary Shuts Her Down: No Help For Tommy".Worrying future.Young time.Never.Fine. Help. Adult.
Yes, that’s exactly what a struggling young adult wants. If only Mary had lived next door to me when my son was a struggling young adult. (One if them would be dead.)
Faithful readers of MW will be able to remember better than me, but honestly, I can't remember a time Mary has ever spoken to Tommy; let alone helped.
"He's an adult."Toby and Mary look at each other. Three seconds later, they both burst into laughter.-- Scottie McW.
Wanders, thanks so much for your post! I'm STILL upset with Mary and Iris for getting Tommy back on drugs! With "help" like that ... well, who needs it?!?!?!?So, who IS this woman talking to Iris, and what have they done with Mary Worth? The REAL Mary Worth would NEVER pass up a chance to butt in! She would NEVER wait to be asked! You've gotta be kiddin' me!As for Iris, who is she thinking about when she says some of us never figure it out? Tommy? Wilbur? Herself? (She doesn't mean Zak ... Zak is probably the most together dude in this whole strip!) Or ... GASP! ... is this a passive-aggressive dig at Mary Worth? I bet it's that! Oh, joy!
Tommy is an adult. Mary doesn't need Iris's permission to meddle in his life. So don't hold yourself back Mary.On first glance I honestly thought Mary WAS talking to Tommy.
SUNDAYThe simple act of caring is not heroic. This is utter nonsense. The word "hero" and its various forms have been misused, abused, and overused to the point that they risk becoming meaningless. -- Scottie McW.
I agree Scottie McW. This quote is ridiculous. I think KM has a book of quotes and she closes her eyes and picks the first one she sees whether it applies the story or not.That being said, Tommy is creeping me out. The next thing he’ll be doing like John Belushi in Animal House is climbing a ladder and staring into her bedroom window.Instead of crowing about what a great (read lousy) job she did as a mother, Iris should have a talk with Tommy about how many years he can get for stalking.
Scottie McW., bingo regarding “hero” and related uses. We could start keeping a list of overused, meaningless words (e.g., amazing, awesome) but it would be so lengthy we’d give up.If Freda fires Tommy, he can panhandle with a sign reading “Lost everything but my faith.”At an outdoor market yesterday a vendor selling homemade, all-natural dog treats had the typical peanut butter but also (drumroll!) SALMON SQUARES! I wonder if Mary has considered baking for dogs? This could be bigger and better than muffins!
So Tommy's been off the drugs for a year. He was also in jail multiple times, and through all that Iris was a full-time student. Tommy's jail sentences were long ones, too. Usually people who go to school full time that long are called "Doctors," or they at last have a Master's degree. I think Tommy and Iris need an intervention for their epic laziness.
I’m in total agreement with Scottie McW and KitKat on the overuse of “hero”. And I tried an experiment and attempted to take a can of soup out of the pantry, Tommy-style. Luckily, I caught it with the other hand before I bashed a toe. I realize that hands are hard to draw, but, c’mon, June!
@ fauxprof, I agree with you with the can holding. Unless it has a cup handle on it, it shouldn’t be held that way.
Mary (to herself): Oh, goodness, I’m down to my last case of Splak! I’d better get down to Freda’s before they close.
Kitkat, I am intrigued by the idea of Mary baking for dogs, which made me also try to think if there's ever been a dog in a Mary Worth strip. Not by my recollection...Maybe these people (Tommy, Wilbur, Brandy) could use a therapy dog. Of course, Mary would have to throttle it, because nobody likes competition...
Scottie McW: Edward Albert's standards were lowered considerably after moving into Green Acres.
@LouiseF: I think Mary adopted a dog named Chester once.Today's strip: At first, I was just going to comment "BARF!" and note that no progress whatsoever has been made in the Tommy subplot ... Tommy still hasn't shelved (or pocketed) that can of peas, and Brandy still hasn't rung up the toilet paper (she's still too busy squeezing it).But then, I saw the last two panels of the Mary and Iris lunch "plot" and became infuriated! Iris didn't help save Tommy! She and Mary got him hooked on Vicodin in the first place, even though they knew that he was an ex-drug dealer, possibly ex-user! How much cognitive dissonance do these two chuckleheads have?
July 8th and 9th, 2016 (MW 2349 and 2350): Wanders posted both strips completely ... Mary and Iris take Tommy to the doctor, say NOTHING when he prescribes highly addictive Vicodin, then take Tommy to the pharmacy and fill his prescription! Argh!!! @#$%!!!
Chester the Dog! Arf Arf!!
Chester, would you eat salmon squares baked by Mary? Or anything baked by Mary?Tommy and Brandy, the fun couple (snore). “What do you wanna do?” “I dunno. What do you wanna do?”
MONDAYHe's been driving her home for weeks and they still haven't gone on a real date? Tommy is definitely in the Friend Zone, not to mention the Taxi Zone.-- Scottie McW.
Several WEEKS of driving her home? I hope Brandy finally signed up on Tinder.
TUESDAYAnother completely natural conversation.This strip gives me inspiration when I'm trying to fall asleep.-- S. McW.
Maybe Brandy's gay-dar is going off...or her loser-dar...
I think Moy is paying us back for our snarking by trying to bore us to death.
Tommy can’t remember the name of the movie, apparently, unless it really is “That Big New Spy Movie.” More likely no film company wanted MW product placement.Looks like Iris gave her Dodge Aspen to Tommy when Zak bought her a new car.
Is that really a Cambodian or Laotian license plate?
Like us, Wanders is so bored, he can't even think of any snark. This is like watching paint dry.
"it'll give me inspiration when I go running". That's right, when Tommy goes full tilt stalker, she'll be running.
Tommy’s car is the anti-Tardis. It’s smaller on the inside than the outside.
When Tommy says the movie character had no choice, he's cuing up confessing his drug dealing past. But Brandy unwittingly shuts him down saying you never have to lose your humanity to survive. Actual dialog in Mary Worth. My world just doesn't make sense anymore.
Wednesday I’m guessing Wanders is on vacation, not so bored that he’s thrown in the Mary Worth towel.Brandy and Tommy deserve each other. They should drive off and never be seen again, like Adrian and her new husband, Scott. Brandy and Tommy need to promise they will not procreate, either. That would be brutal AND fascinating!
I see Tommy put on a new tee shirt for their big date. He's so smooth. It doesn't even say "Megadeth" or some such on it.More stilted conversation. And what Brandy finds brutal, Tommy finds fascinating. Uh-oh.And, of course, Moy butchers the analogy. You play the cards you're "dealt," not "given." Finally, I'm chuckling over the older couple in the background, trying to fathom what's going through their minds. She looks defeated. She must have found "That Big New Spy Movie" brutal as well. -- S. McW.
I take it back. He didn't put on a new tee shirt. It's the same one he wore to work the day before. Brutal.S. McW.
Hey - Scottie McW. - at least Tommy's didn't wear his wife-beater to the movie. And speaking of tee shirts, it appears that Brandy hasn't changed hers in some time. Isn't that green shirt the same one she's had on for "several weeks"?
Tommy in panel one today is freaking terryifing. He looks like some kind of emaciated zombie woman deadite.
I am waiting for the big reveal here to be that Tommy has been dating Dawn all along (QED: the movie is "brutal"). Even Brandy's haircut says "Dawn", and giving her a two syllable name doesn't convince me differently...Think the oppressive heat is finally getting to me, plus the fact that it's the 4th of July, and I can't pass up "Mary Worth"... Mary is probably off somewhere with Wanders, slurping up watermelon while watching fireworks, which I hope all of you will be doing too!
A philosophical debate emerges ... Tommy is the realistic pragmatist, his experience shaped by hard times and a prison sentence, and Brandy is the naive idealist who’s in for a wake-up call. Brandy, have you never heard of the Donner party? I’m diggin’ this relationship!
One of the best things about this bloc, aside from the BFH, is when others point out things I missed. Scottie McW, I totally missed that woman in the background. She does look defeated. Maybe she's decided that survival does require losing your humanity after all.The dialogue in Mary Worth is always a source of great joy to me. Is KM in isolation somewhere, away from normal humans?But seriously, I've been away for a bit, and I come back to find that...nothing has happened. I thought by now there would be some hint of trouble in Paradise, or a hint at a dark secret that Brandy is hiding, or...oh wait, this is Mary Worth.
..after the movie,blah blah. Lets talk AT each other, it'll be fun!
It's Independence Day, and I'm declaring my independence from the drivel that is ... Mary Worth! ... Just kidding! I'm ADDICTED! I think it's high time that Tommy went to Mary for some relationship "advice"!
THURSDAYOh Tommy, you're so deep.-- S. McW.
What Iris really said was “Before you judge a man, walk many miles in his hairstyle.”I hope Wanders posts soon. There are SO many comments to scroll through.
THURSDAYToday's Boldface Haiku is titled"Tommy, Go What Yourself".Choices those?What...yourself."Judge, his."
Thanks, Nance! Wonder what you would do with yesterday's (July 4) boldface haiku. My guess is that Brandy and Tommy went to see "The First Purge", judging by their comments.
Tommy got his thoughtful quote from the side of a popsicle stick.
Nance, today’s boldface haiku is perfection! Can’t you just hear the voice of Yoda?
@Nance, you owe me a new keyboard. ROFL!
Nance, ad usual you’’ve outdone yourself. I think your title tells how we’re feeling.Anyway I couldn’t figure out what was going on with Brandy’s head. I thought it was either out the window or she had been decapitated and was still moving around like a chicken with its head cut off. I think Tommy’s getting ready to tell Brandy about his sordid past. When she starts running, he’s going to say “Hey! Walk a mile in my shoes!”I think Wanders is in “beautiful Italy” with Harlan and Dawn. Wanders, should you come back, I want to suggest for the Charterstone jukebox “Walk a Mile in My Shoes” by Joe South.
Thank you, everyone! It's been a Heat Wave Hostage Crisis here in NEO, and my brain is seriously turning to porridge. I'm tired of being cooped up in the AC, but the alternative is to venture outside and walk/breathe in an atmospheric Bowl Of Soup. I'm starting to Lose It.
Friday: The glacial pace continues. We get it you guys enjoyed the movie, let’s move on to something more interesting, like Mary making salmon squares.
FRIDAYToday' Boldface Haiku is titled"The 1855 Godey's Etiquette Guide-Book To Dating".Thanks. Nice.Enjoyed.
Nance, another perfect zinger. You really rock! BTW, Mary was a charter subscriber of Godey’s Lady’s Book.Can we get a BOGO deal for Brandy and Tommy for a vocabulary enrichment course? They are really in need of new words.
They look at each other. Tommy beams. He has a popcorn husk stuck in his teeth.So then Brandy goes all like, "Eeeewwwwww!" And the moment is ruined. If you wanna charm the ladies, Tommy, ya gotta make sure to pick your teeth on a date.-- S. McW.
This is the most non-compelling courtship story in the history of—er—literature? I’m not sure what to call it. Tommy and Brandy have zero chemistry, and should be allowed to get on with their lives of quiet desperation without involving us. Nance has barely enough words to put in a boldface haiku (with a brilliant title, as always), and Wanders has deserted us. We will soon be reduced to talking about the weather. (It’s much pleasanter today in NEO, a cooler day for me and Nance and KitKat.)
Brandy still hasn't taken either of the Advils attached to her earlobes, so that's a good sign. It looks like it's time for a ... SMOOCH!!!(I think Wanders must be on vacation ... he is missing some great stuff!)
Tomorrow Brandy confesses that she has a very bad face-lift. Tommy is pleased that she looks just like Iris!
Is it me or in Friday's strip, does Brandy look like a character from the movie Avatar? And I agree that Wanders must be on vacation. But where's our crummy postcard?
Agreed, fauxprof, (from another denizen of NEO) that the weather is (thank heaven) cooler, and much more volatile and exciting than the lives of these two. I want to know what happened to Jared (of Star Wars action figures fame). Annoying that a half-way interesting character emerges and then fades into the shadows, replaced by Beedie and Brandy, which could be the name of a drink made with brandy and honey bee liquour.
SATURDAYWell at least they're not talking.Hey, I'm from NEO too!-- S. McW.
SATURDAYConfronted by Nance's brilliantly titled boldface haikus on a daily basis, Karen Moy resorts to a desperate strategy - no dialogue, no sounds (not even a lip smack).Scottie McW, NEO seems to be a hotspot of Worthiverse aficionados.I hope Wanders is okay and will return very soon.
So, just to be clear, the main thing that has been established is these two share the following in common:- They work at Freda's- They love their mother's although Tommie's is better because she's alive and dating Zak- Following advice they both read in a paper newspaper (which is totally a thing kids these days do), they consider sandwiches to be the most appropriate first date food when eating at Diner- They think Action Movie is brutal and choices are hardYep, nose kisses ahoy! These two were clearly fated to go down in the history of great mope romances.
Ok, please help me out. Does NEO mean North East Oregon? I Googled it, and it comes back with "Noncombatant Evacuation Operations". I figure that's not it. I'm from MSP.
Non-Bold Haiku from a Non-NEO Location orNance's Day OffFingers interact.Idiots prepare to kiss.Where has Wanders gone?
I think it's northeast Ohio. Even out in the deserts of Eastern Oregon we are not having anything close to a heat wave in the NW.
Yes, NEO is northeast Ohio on The North Coast, The Best Location in the Nation, as Cleveland, aka The Forest City, likes to say.-- S. McW., Civic Booster
Maybe we should contact the SRPD and ask them to put out an APB for Wanders, to include NEO. ASAP, or at least PDQ.
Scottie McW, remember “Cleveland’s a Plum” (in answer to New York’s the Bug Apple but Cleveland’s...”). That campaign is better left in the 20th century,Yahoonski, you have filled in admirably for Nance. I hope she’s using her day off to relax and enjoy the (at last!) beautiful weather here on the North Coast. I just hope Canada isn’t so fed up with things that it’s preparing an invasion.
I hope those earrings Brandy is wearing are really birth control pills instead of Advil...
Panel 3:Tommy: BURP!Brandy: !
Getting kinda worried about Wanders!Noreen
Wanders where are you? Did Wayne the kidnapper take you? Do we have to get Mary to look for you? I know the plot is boring, but we miss you!
@KitKatHa haaa, yes I remember "Cleveland's a Plum!" Back in the '80s. Never quite caught on, did it?Then LeBron recently dubbed us "The Land," but I think that moniker has hit its expiration date.SUNDAYJeez, talk about distracted driving.-- S. McW.
SUNDAY The “big new spy thriller” turns out to be “Red Sparrow”? Santa Royale must be a backwater indeed because that film opened in the U.S. in winter. I note that it was released on DVD in May, so maybe KM is angling for a free copy.We all know about Tommy’s checkered past. I’m hoping Brandy has an even more checkered past, including embezzling from Freda’s and lying about her supposedly deceased mother.If Wanders doesn’t come back by tomorrow, I will really be concerned.
I wouldn't worry too much about Wanders, folks. He's disappeared before. Probably just a family vacation where Mrs. Wanders has threatened him with bodily harm if he so much as looks at a Mary Worth strip. However, if you get really concerned, just post an "unfriendly family" comment; he'd be back before you could type "!"
"If you are a false human being, better to hedge your bets."- Me
I’m just surprised that Baren Koy didn’t change Jennifer Lawrence’s name to Lennifer Jawrence.
Regina Wolfe-Parks, and the film title to "Red Buzzard."BTW, when discussing a film, wouldn't most people refer to the character's name, not "[actor's name]'s character"?
Ooh! There's a new post (well, it's from June, but I didn't see it until now) on the official MW site ... it's all about Brandy! It also has a link to the song! Yay!
I had to look up the source of today’s quote, since I am not well versed in medieval Persian poet-philosophers. I can only surmise that KM has abandoned Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations for his lesser known Unfamiliar Quotations, or perhaps the Really, Really Obscure Quotations.I didn’t see Red Sparrow, either.Wanders, please come home?
Rumi has become quite popular in recent years, particularly the Coleman Barks translations. Maybe KM is more hip than we realize. ( is hip still a thing?)
I forgot to add that this is the most awkward kiss since two two Private Eyes kissed. (Too lazy to look up their names.). Geez Louise, JB needs to go back and look at those romance comic books from the ‘60s and ‘70s. (Yes, I am that old and yes I read them like all the girls in my high school.). Now they knew how to draw a guy and a girl kissing!
Tommy looks so grey skinned, ugh.
MONDAYToday's Boldface Haiku is titled"The Baggagehandlers At Dinner: We're Just High On Love".Get? Great beers!Ginger ale. Don't drink!Same...anymore! (Past year...God willing!)
Do most people advertise to strangers that they don't drink? Don't they just order something else without explanation? The dialog in the strip continues to be head-shakingly unrealistic. Why is it so hard to write normal dialog?-- S. McW.
The first thing I though is the waitress looks like Curly from the Three Stooges in a dress and blonde wig. I've gone to many a diner and the server never has told us right off the bat that they have great beers. It's usually "What will you be having to drink?"Sottie McW, I'm with you, who the heck announces this? Has KM ever heard people talk? Besides, I though Tommy's vices were more of the drug-related kind, not alcohol. Wanders, you better get back and fast. The comments are coming too fast and furious here.
I meant *Scottie*. My fingers type to fast for their own good.
Once again Brandy ignores a red flag, Tommy unnecessarily proclaiming “I don’t drink”. Next, he’s going to invite her for some Bible study.
So, now we're going to tackle alcoholism with the similarly deft (or daft) touch which was used for sexual assault and depression? Sign me up! I can't wait to learn that the key to stopping drinking is to decide to (God willing) stop drinking.
what a dull couple...
It looks like Tommy and Brandy are making out in his car both while driving or while parked in front of the movie theater so the whole world gets to see the ugly scene. Plus if they saw "Red Sparrow", they'd probably be doing more than just kissing.... Such dweebs.
Someone needs to get that waitress a brush. Though now that Regina has mentioned Curly in a wig, I can't unsee that.I for one am happy that they're kissing. Finally, something besides weird, boring conversation between these two! And while it's an awkward kiss, it's nowhere near as awkward as the one between those two detectives or whatever they were. But I think they are kissing right in front of the movie theater.And no, no one announces when they order ginger ale that they don't drink, and no waitress says, "Hi! We have great beers!" I think they are all robots, only less lifelike. But I'm wondering if Tommy is so worried about his checkered past that he's missing one of Brandy's red flags. Maybe there's a reason she doesn't drink. The plot thickens...we hope...I hope wherever Wanders is, he's having fun.
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