Wednesday, August 1, 2018

Mary Worth 2938

And now Father Silhouette knows how we feel. His advantage over Dr. Sweatervest is that the priest can let his eyes droop and Tommy won't know.


RobC said...

Mary, Joseph and Jesus!


“Bless me father, I killed a man once. I dishonored my mother twice. I had impure thoughts 87 times. And covet, Father, heavy on the covet.”

You approach the confessional with a contrite heart already having worked all this out. The Priest is covering three parishes now and Confession is only scheduled for half an hour on Saturdays at 2:30.

KitKat said...

Father Silhouette: “I can understand how your girlfriend might feel. You’ve been talking for only three minutes, and I’m struggling not to hate you. By the way, any Vicodin abuse also?”

Anonymous said...

Fr. Silhouette: "Yes, My Son, I know all about it. Lots of people do. Some old woman was gossiping about you at our last bake sale. She told me you'd be here. But as for your problem, yeah, you're pretty much screwed."

-- Scottie McW.

fauxprof said...

Tommy grows more repulsive looking by the day. If he won’t cut that hair, how about washing it? Oh, yeah, Wilbur has used up the water allowance for Charterstone, possibly for all of Santa Royale.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Fr. Silhouette: "You've been talking for 15 minutes and I'm struggling not to hate you as well, my son."

I can picture the crowd outside the confessional, as Father Silhouette is the only priest on duty and Tommy's taking up his time with his sorrowful story. It's like the scene in Airplane! where Robert Hays is telling his story to a little old lady about how he lost his girlfriend and then you see after the flashback, you see the old gal has hanged herself. I'm sure Fr. Silhouette is fashioning a noose with his belt as Tommy blathers on.

If I was Fr. Silhouette, I'd so the Judge Judy thing and say "If you want to discuss your problems, go on Dr. Phil. This is a confessional, not a talk show."

Either Tommy's not a Catholic or he's beyond stupid. "Confession" means just that, you confess your sins, not use the confessional as a therapist's office. I have a book for KM to read "Catholicism for Dummies." (I really do have this book.)

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@kitkat, sorry I missed your post and posted the same thing! Great (Catholic) minds think alike LOL.

r u ok? said...

Reminds me of a Simpson's episode with Reverend Lovejoy trying to avoid Ned:

Fr. Silhouette: "Maybe you should try another religion - they're all pretty much the same."

Mary say the warning signs early on and pushed Tommy onto someone else (anti-meddling?) - so how does Fr. Silhouette end this "long story" Tommy is recapping?

Chester the Dog said...

I can't imagine, after all this time working at the store (too lazy to look up the name of it), that no other worker has cornered Brandy and spilled the beans to her about Tommy. Maybe she DOES know about his past and is just using him for free rides and unlimited ginger ale!

Tim said...

Father Anonymous is still waiting for Tommy to confess an actual sin.

Sandi Ego said...

RobC - exactly! This is not free counseling. You can schedule that for another time, Tommy. Sheesh.
Regina Wolfe-Parks, yes, I thought of the same Airplane scene!
If Tommy is Catholic I assume Iris is, too. You know, Iris the Adulteress. Now, there is a confession we want to hear!

Steve G. said...

Like the esurance commercial about posting photos on a wall:
"That's not how it works! That's not how ANY of this works!"

Let's fast forward (please) and Tommy's finished with his ruminations.
Now what?

The priest gives him dating advice????

Was there any forethought about this plot?

It's a pyramid scheme to kill time and steal money from North American Syndicate, Inc.
Tommy talks to himself (1 week: July 16 - 24)
Tommy talks to Mary (1 week: July 24 - 29)
Tommy talks to a Priest (1 week: July 30 - August 5)
Tommy talks to Mary about talking to the Priest (1 week: August 6 - 12)
Tommy talks to himself while walking over to Brandy's (1 week: August 13 - 19)
Tommy talks to Brandy (1 week: August 20 - 26)
Tommy talks to Mary about talking to Brandy (1 week: August 27 - September 2)

Happy Labor Day everyone!
Pool party at Charterstone!

Anonymous said...

padre some vikes isn`t a sin it`s a blessing...

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Deja Vu All Over Again Zzzzzzzzzzzzz".

Criminal drugs, alcohol...
Hate too!

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Fr. Silhouette, just cut Tommy off at the pass, tell him to say an entire rosary and send him on his way or else you’ll have two weeks worth of him saying out loud what he’s been thinking to himself.