"I also live with my mom and drive you home in her car. I've lost a series of jobs, and I work as a stock boy in a grocery store... oh, wait, you already know that last one."
I was surprised to learn yesterday how many of you actually live in Maine! If I'd known, I would have suggested we take a cruise together or something.
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Plus, I never wash my hair, and I wear the same t-shirt for days at a time—oh, wait, you probably figured that out for yourself.
"But worst of all, I never cleaned up a big mess in the bathroom of Jerry's Sandwich Shop."
Married to a Mainer.
I wish I known you were in Maine Wanders. We could have gotten together. A cruise with us Mainers would have been great-we could call it "The Mary Worth and Me" Cruise.
Like Barbara L. Hanson, I too married a Mainer, although he was a military brat that finally ended up in Maine when his father bought a home here and decided that he was going to retire here. Sadly, he passed away while still in active duty. After he died, my mother-in-law decided to keep the family in Maine and the rest is history.
Anyway, enough of beautiful Maine (which I'm sure is not as beautiful as Italy). As Tommy tells his tale of his sordid past, he hasn't realized that Brandy has sneaked away and is running as fast as she can.
Today's Boldface Haiku (straight from NEO) is titled
"Tommy Raps His Rep".
Growing up, rocky relationship!
Died, bad decisions...
Alcohol drugs, prison!
Addicted!
"On the bright side, I could open a bottle of beer with my eye socket and then drink it through my nose. So it wasn't, you know, all bad."
-- Scottie McW.
"I was also forced to mop the prison floors at gunpoint"
"Oh, and I found Jesus in prison."
“And now that that’s out of the way, lemme wow you with all my good attributes....”
True story, someone very close to me was imprisoned years ago for a white collar crime and learned to give tattoos. My kids were sort of in awe. I mean, prison tats! Just wondering if Tommy has any and what it would be. First guess is a heart with "Ma Forever" in a really bad font.
I'm going to take this stupid comic strip too seriously for just a minute.
This "I made some bad decisions" thing bugs me. Trying to make it to the next gas station with the low fuel warning light on amounts to a bad decision. Somehow drug dealing, addictions and prison seem to be in another category.
IIRC Father Choprak let Tommy get away with claiming bad decisions as well..
There I got that off my chest. Carry on.
Wanders: A cruise. Ha ha. Such a loaded word for Mary Worth readers. How delightfully arch of you.
I forgot to mention On the "Mary Worth and Me" cruise, Entertainer Esme will be the headliner. I think we're safe if we don't smoke.
Sandi Ego, IIRC, Tommy has a tat on his left arm of what may be a snake and a knife (or maybe it's a worm and a garden stake). I remember it in the Uncle Joe era. Maybe Tommy got it lasered off to make a good impression with Brandy. One of the panels that were discarded was the one where Brandy told Tommy she hated tattoos because her father was covered head to toe with them.
@Regina WP
Tommy is aghast to come home one day and find that Ma and Zak got matching tattoos.
BTW, I don't get the "Ma" bashing. My five siblings and I called our Mom "Ma" for her entire life. Lots of kids in our neighborhood called their Moms "Ma."
-- S. McW.
@Tim: I totally agree with you on the "bad decision" thing.
@S McW: My husband is 63 years old and he calls his 87 year old mother "ma". I think I'm going to get on him about it LOL.
Maybe it's okay with the "ma" stuff, but Tommy is 25 going on 40. It's time for him to better himself. He needs to stop dying that mop on his head yellow, get a haircut and try to better himself.He needs Judge Mathis to talk to him about being a criminal and turning your life around. Or better still, have Judge Judy yell at him and tell him what a burden he is on society. One of those two should wake him up, but Tommy's got the ambition of a slug, so I doubt it. He'll be stacking cans until it's time to collect Social Security.
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