Monday, October 8, 2018

Mary Worth 2986

The last time Mary made muffins for an elderly bachelor, she was assaulted. I would think she'd want to keep away from the muffins for a while. Instead, she tries immersion therapy.


RobC said...

He's really on the floor with a broken hip and can't get up. His feeble sounds to Mary are a cry for help as he suffers from dehydration. Where is his LifeCall badge? It's up on the mantle clipped to Bella's collar with her rabies tag. The whole plan was that Bella was to be his service dog in case he fell.

Yahoonski said...

Toby: "Gee, Mary, I know this sounds crazy, but do you suppose it's possible that maybe he doesn't want to talk to you, that he just wants to be alone with his grief for a while?"

Mary: "Toby, Toby, Toby. It's just a question of finding the right way to REACH OUT to him."

Toby: "How about fortune muffins? You could put a little slip of paper with an inspirational message inside each muffin. You know, stuff like "Let her go" and "Life goes on" and "Have you considered getting a parrot?"

Mary: "Toby dear, you really shouldn't start in on the vodka before...WAIT! That's a great idea."

Tomorrow: "A Platter Full of Platitudes"

LouiseF said...

I hope Mary forgot that the last time she tried to foist muffins on Saul, he snarled at her that they made him fat. I'd like to see him upend a plate of them in her face now, especially if they look like Bella's sad little face (a la muffins or chihuahua meme).. Airborne muffins twice in a year. Could we hope for more.

Anonymous said...

I maintain my theory that those muffins have powerful, indeed dangerous, psychoactive properties. They drove Ted Miller insane, causing him to veer off into a manic fantasy world of muffin salesmanship and, then, sexual assault. Toby, meanwhile, has clearly found the fix for her dull middle aged trophy wife life in a suburban retirement community. Scarfing a few Mary muffins really takes the edge off of that feeling of profound mediocrity as she listlessly crafts her dreary sculptures.

As for Myster Wynter, he is living a life of alternating despair for losing Bella and terror at being stalked by a very prominent resident of his home at Charterstone who has already forced herself not only into his residence, but even into the process of grieving his loss. For a private man such as our friend Saul, here, the intrusion is agonizing.

TimP said...

That was me at 11:57.

meg said...

Mary makes one last, desperate effort at Saul’s door:


Chester the Dog said...

Mary, MYOB, just MYOB.

Gina said...

I hope Nance is around, because I am REALLY looking forward to today's haiku. :-D

Anonymous said...

Mary enlists the help of Mr. Allora and finds a way to crawl through the ductwork. She arrives over Old Man Wynters' living room.

As Saul is leafing through his Bella photo album, he suddenly hears, "Pssst! Pssst!"

Looking up, he is aghast to see Mary's smiling face.

"Hi there," she says cheerily. "Would you like to talk about it?"

Saul's blood pressure skyrockets, and he keels over with a fatal stroke.

Problem solved, Mary takes Toby along on another victory lap.

-- Scottie McW.

P.S. @meg. I literally LOLed over "Candygram."

Nance said...

Today's (Sorry So Late) Boldface Haiku is titled

"If Only KM Would Heed The Wise Words Of Line 1 And Mary Worth Line 2".

Saul Wynter. Briefly!
Either. Shut up?
Appears. Reach out!

Gina said...

@Nance *applause*

KitKat said...

Wanders and all of you are really on your game today! “Fortune muffins,” “Candygram,” “ Shut up” - ha ha ha ha ha....!

Today’s invisible panel 3: Frustrated by Toby dribbling muffin crumbs all over the floor, Mary shoves Toby’s head in the oven and slams the oven door.

Anonymous said...

I'm hoping that tomorrow June will once again re-use a panel. Except that, unlike today, it will show Mary hovering over Mr. Alora as he picks Mr. Wynter's lock and show Toby leaning against the wall next to the door, drinking her vodka instead of eating a muffin.
Mary: Toby, don't you have anything better to do than to follow me around?
Toby: No, actually, I don't...