Tuesday, October 9, 2018

Mary Worth 2987

It's only been months? It feels longer. But I think he's entitled to grieve for at least as long as you feel entitled to obsess over him.

23 comments:

KitKat said...

Very funny secret message, Wanders!

Mary's going to stuff muffins into the gas tanks of every car in the Charterstone parking lot. Saul Wynter will get past his grief when Mary tells him how much in demand his car-repair skills are. KM is a genius, isn't she?

RobC said...

Months?! Didn't I read yesterday "it's been several weeks ..."? How many months is "several"?

We're going to find Wynters dead under a pile of trash bags. Thank goodness he wasn't a cat person.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Collyer_brothers

Anonymous said...


Yes, great secret message, Wanders.

That sly Mary is going to tap on Saul's door and say, "Oh, Mr. Wynter, the doohickey on my car's thingamajig is making funny noises and the warning whatchamacallit is flashing red. Could you please, please help me. I'll pay you."

Saul makes a face and snarls, "Call Triple-A."

-- Scottie McW.

New riff on an old James Bond joke:

Mary raps on Saul's door and says, "Worth. Mary Worth.

Saul replies, "Lost. Get lost."


meg said...






Mary Worth, while confident in her position as world’s greatest advice giver, occasionally feels the need to ask the opinion of others. And so it was with the Saul Wynter dilemma.

Wilbur: Take him to karaoke. Yeah, that’s the ticket!

Dawn (chiming in on FaceTime): Oh, he should come to Bella Italy and do parkour with Harlan.

Iris: Maybe he’d like to come over and play ZAKIKS with Zak- it’s wicked fun!

Tommy Beedie: Well, yeah, I think I might know of something that will help Ol’ Man Wynter, but I’ll have to call my friend first.

Hanna Dingdon Hastings: He should just move into Somerset. There are no dogs allowed there, and no one cares if he’s old and fat. And he could watch C-SPAN with Sean so I can go out to play bingo once in a while.

Dr. Jeff: I’d be happy to take him out in my all wood cabin cruiser, then we could dine at the Bum Boat. They have salmon appetizers!

Jill Black: He should go out for a few drinks with me.

Toby: I’m gonna go with Jill.

Ian Cameron, BFD: Mary lass, it’s up to ye. Yoo can tak’ th’ high road an’ let Saul solve his ain problems. Ur ye can tak’ th’ low road, an’ dog his every step, an’ nag hem until he completely breaks down.

Mary smiled smugly, and hurried off to take the low road.




Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"What Do Dead Dogs And Carburetors Have In Common?".

Canine companion. Natural.
Months. Recluse.
Busy. Retired?
Car repair shop. Hmm...

Chester the Dog said...

@Meg:

Evy Taylor: Come to New York, there are lots of broken cars here! Tee Hee!

mr_darcy said...

Saul hasn't been alone. Ted Miller thinks bow-tie dog collars are a aure-fire business opportunity. They've been having "business meetings" inside Saul's apartment.

TimP said...

Toby's been in a muffin induced haze for so long that she no longer can reckon the passing of time. All her addled forebrain can process these days is doing whatever she has to, even listening to Mary talk about that grumpy guy with the dead dog for literally months on end, just to get one more bite of those sweet, sweet crumbly muffins.

LouiseF said...

In this corner, Meddlin' Mary Worth, ready to advise her unwilling neighbor out of his natural grieving process. Her motto, "It doesn't take a village; it takes one persistent neighbor." Her hero: Gladys Kravitz..

Tim said...

MW: Mary's Magical Muffins look inedible to me.

r u ok? said...

I would like to see the room in Mary's apartment with all the surveillance monitoring equipment. How else would she know Saul never goes out? Or maybe she attached a GPS monitor on him somehow so that she can track his every move?

Tim said...

Just in time for Halloween zombie chihuahua will attack Charterstone looking for brains.

meg said...

Tim: hold onto that thought-tell us more!

Vince said...

I bet Saul will be tempted to fiddle around with Mary's brakes.

Gina said...

@Tim -- I fear she's going to be bitterly disappointed.

Tim said...

The ongoing story arc will be The Barking Dead. Picture Wilbur cowering in his shower with a toy crossbow.

KitKat said...

Wednesday
Looks like @Scottie McW. called today’s “plot development” yesterday. Just how fiddling with Mary’s car will snap Saul out of his grief remains to be seen. Perhaps Mary has planted a chihuahua wearing a neck tie in her trunk.

LouiseF said...

Saul opens his door, and Mary calls out, "Surprise!", along with the group of Charterstone residents that Mary has rounded up, along with their car problems. Unfortunately, their car issues go to topics like, "I got a paper clip stuck in the fan of my air conditioning, and it makes a terrible noise. Can you help me get it out?" Saul looks disgusted, refers them all to re-runs of "Car Talk" on NPR's web site and slams the door again.

Carlye said...

Do you think that Mary will be giving out muffins for Tricks or Treats? Talk about a trick.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

You got to hand it to Mary for perseverance. She can’t take a hint someone may want to be alone with their grief. She will break them down if it’s the last thing she does. KM has no idea how people act in real life. If I had a neighbor like Mary, I’d be getting a restraining order. Mary is truly an awful person.

On another note, I was in Christmas Tree Shop (for The uninitiated it’s a store that sells everything but Christmas Trees) and there was a lady with a Yorkie that had a bow tie on exactly like Bella’s. I was tempted to ask her if her dog’s name was Bella, but I thought the better of it.

fauxprof said...

@ Regina W-P, I’ve never been inclined to dress up any of my pets. Actually, cats are likely to try to shred you if you pull something like that. I did have a large, dignified mixed breed dog that came back from the groomer with a bandanna around her neck. She looked at me with an expression that said, very clearly, “Please take this thing off me, please?” I would never have submitted her to the indignity of a bow tie.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

@fauxprof: I sometimes put hats on my cat Ronnie and take pictures of him. He always has a look that says “help”. I bought him a bow tie (like Bella Wynter’s) and my husband told me to stop torturing his “son”. My two female cats will not allow me to make sport of them. If I did, I’m sure they’d scratch my eyes out in my sleep.

TimP said...

@fauxprof and @ Regina Wolfe-Parks:

My daughter loves nothing better than to improvise adornments for our cats who, being indoors cats, have never worn collars. (They're chipped.)

These capes, 'necklaces' (nothing that could get caught and choke the cat), hats, etc. rarely last more than fifteen seconds. That duration, by the way, is only achieved with the one of our two cats who is amazing with kids. My daughter has learned not to try to adorn the other cat who is far less tolerant.