Dealing with past traumas is Mary Worth’s specialty! She should have a heart to heart with Bela and offer gentile platitudes and muffins (with a little more bone meal than her usual recipe). Greta will be cured and then she’ll be a bow tie away from having a forever(ish) home with Mr. Wynter.
Most well-run shelters work with traumatized animals to reassure and socialize them before making them available for adoption. As KitKat so wisely points out, no animals are crammed into small, bare cages with no bedding, food, or water. Karen Moy should be forced to watch a marathon of “Animal Cops” on Animal Planet to learn what kind of challenges shelter personnel face in trying to rescue vulnerable creatures. I’m afraid this storyline has beaten all the funny snark right out of me.
Mary: "Willing? Willing? What are you two yammering about? I'll show you willing. Move aside; I'll have that mutt outta there in a heartbeat." And with that, Mary shakes the cage until Greta falls out.
Sue: "We're not quite sure what caused this traumatic behavior. Greta seemed fine when she was given up for adoption. This cowering and whining only started after some blonde bimbo dressed in a disco outfit stopped by and took her out for a walk."
Mary: "Toby, I thought I told you to go over to the shelter and cheer a dog up."
Toby: "Oh, sorry, Mare. I thought you said to go over there and smarten' them up. Oh well, whatevs. Got any more vodka?"
Okay, so Saul's been softened up, he'll adopt Greta, and Mary's a big heroine again. Yip yip. I hope this means this terrible story line wraps up this week.
Saul knew when he was beaten. He no longer had the will to withstand the Mighty Mary Meddling Machine. “I’ll take that one,” he blurted out, pointing to a scruffy but well-behaved mixed breed female. And he took his new companion home and attempted to bond with her. Didn’t work.
One day he went with his dog to Mary’s house to bemoan his inability to be a good doggy daddy. As it happens, Mary’s beau, Dr. Cory, was there. Amazingly, the poor dog went directly to Dr. Cory and extended her paw to shake. Dr. Cory was charmed, and the two continued to interact in the friendliest of ways.
When Saul got up to leave, Dr. Cory cut to the chase: “Wynter, Mary says you and your dog don’t mesh. Why don’t you give her to me? I’m a very lonely guy.” “Done!” said Saul, and he scurried back to his fetid lair.
LOL Meg. I'm glad I'm by myself in the office. I'm still laughing.
ASPCA lady: "I don't know abut her past, but it appears she's been traumatized." Saul: "Just like me, living in the same building as this old dame."
This place is as awful as Mary. I'd be reporting them to whoever's in charge of animal welfare in Santa Royale.
I bet when Greta turns around she'll have a face like one of those sad eyed pet drawings. Perhaps Myster Wynter can pick up some knick knacks to compliment his Bella pictures and Greta on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/market/sad_eyed_puppy
So Greta vants to be alone? I've adopted a traumatized dog. It took me a year, $1000 in vet bills, and consultation with a dog trainer just to get the 3yr old dog housebroken and healthy. He still nips at people that get too close and we've had him 11 years. If only I lived in the Worthiverse where a total transformation would occur in a couple days. Perhaps if I'd dressed little Skipper in a bow tie...
15 comments:
I'd be traumatized if I was confined to a small metal cage with no food and water and no bedding. What kind of shelter is this?
Dealing with past traumas is Mary Worth’s specialty! She should have a heart to heart with Bela and offer gentile platitudes and muffins (with a little more bone meal than her usual recipe). Greta will be cured and then she’ll be a bow tie away from having a forever(ish) home with Mr. Wynter.
Today's Boldface Haiku is titled
"All This Metaphoring...Reminds Me Of...Dave?".
Past, traumatized.
Never do!
Try out?
Willing.
Most well-run shelters work with traumatized animals to reassure and socialize them before making them available for adoption. As KitKat so wisely points out, no animals are crammed into small, bare cages with no bedding, food, or water. Karen Moy should be forced to watch a marathon of “Animal Cops” on Animal Planet to learn what kind of challenges shelter personnel face in trying to rescue vulnerable creatures. I’m afraid this storyline has beaten all the funny snark right out of me.
Mary: "Willing? Willing? What are you two yammering about? I'll show you willing. Move aside; I'll have that mutt outta there in a heartbeat." And with that, Mary shakes the cage until Greta falls out.
"As the Curmudgeon Turns", starring Saul Wynter.
Sue: "We're not quite sure what caused this traumatic behavior. Greta seemed fine when she was given up for adoption. This cowering and whining only started after some blonde bimbo dressed in a disco outfit stopped by and took her out for a walk."
Mary: "Toby, I thought I told you to go over to the shelter and cheer a dog up."
Toby: "Oh, sorry, Mare. I thought you said to go over there and smarten' them up. Oh well, whatevs. Got any more vodka?"
Okay, so Saul's been softened up, he'll adopt Greta, and Mary's a big heroine again. Yip yip. I hope this means this terrible story line wraps up this week.
Not that the next one will likely be any better.
-- Scottie McW.
Saul knew when he was beaten. He no longer had the will to withstand the Mighty Mary Meddling Machine. “I’ll take that one,” he blurted out, pointing to a scruffy but well-behaved mixed breed female.
And he took his new companion home and attempted to bond with her. Didn’t work.
One day he went with his dog to Mary’s house to bemoan his inability to be a good doggy daddy. As it happens, Mary’s beau, Dr. Cory, was there. Amazingly, the poor dog went directly to Dr. Cory and extended her paw to shake. Dr. Cory was charmed, and the two continued to interact in the friendliest of ways.
When Saul got up to leave, Dr. Cory cut to the chase: “Wynter, Mary says you and your dog don’t mesh. Why don’t you give her to me? I’m a very lonely guy.”
“Done!” said Saul, and he scurried back to his fetid lair.
And thus began the story of Mutt and Jeff.
Good job, meg! "Mutt and Jeff"! Love it.
@meg you made me laugh.
@meg--LOL! Well done. And it makes such Good Sense that Jeff is a lonely guy, too.
LOL Meg. I'm glad I'm by myself in the office. I'm still laughing.
ASPCA lady: "I don't know abut her past, but it appears she's been traumatized."
Saul: "Just like me, living in the same building as this old dame."
This place is as awful as Mary. I'd be reporting them to whoever's in charge of animal welfare in Santa Royale.
I bet when Greta turns around she'll have a face like one of those sad eyed pet drawings. Perhaps Myster Wynter can pick up some knick knacks to compliment his Bella pictures and Greta on Etsy: https://www.etsy.com/market/sad_eyed_puppy
So Greta vants to be alone?
I've adopted a traumatized dog. It took me a year, $1000 in vet bills, and consultation with a dog trainer just to get the 3yr old dog housebroken and healthy. He still nips at people that get too close and we've had him 11 years. If only I lived in the Worthiverse where a total transformation would occur in a couple days. Perhaps if I'd dressed little Skipper in a bow tie...
@Sandi Ego
Maybe there's a near-by sweater-vest-wearing pet therapist who can straighten Greta out in one visit. Or dog karaoke.
-- S. McW.
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