Monday, December 2, 2019

Mary Worth 3241

Menopause, where you gain 15 pounds a day. She's been blowing up like a balloon at the Maisie's Thanksgiving Day Parade.

24 comments:

fauxprof said...

“How can I do that to Zak”??? Gaaaah! Can Moy write anything other than female doormats? Okay, Iris, let’s have a sisterhood moment here. Something is going on with you, physically. Could be menopause, could be pregnancy, could even be cancer. Go find a better doctor (maybe a woman?), have some tests run and get an informed diagnosis. And let’s not worry about Zak, or Wilbur, or Tommy. Think about yourself!

Rant over. For the moment.

LouiseF said...

Right on, fauxprof.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Thank you Fauxprof!!!! My sentiments exactly. Is Iris such a lamebrain she thinks getting "a change of life" is punishing Zak? Also because she's dating a hunk, that doesn't stop the change either. "A change of life" is not something that sneaks up on you. You'll absolutely know when it happens

Let me get a little personal here. I went through "a change of life" at 35 due to surgery. I never had any of the symptoms that Iris had (blowing up like Violet from Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory or my hair fulling out in clumps). The main thing I had was hot flashes that made me feel like I was sitting on a stove. It's obvious KM, like Dr. Quackety Quack, has never met a menopausal woman. Instead of worrying about how this is punishing poor Zak, she needs to take her chunky behind to another doctor, who unlike Dr. Dismissive, will do some blood work and maybe, just maybe give you a pregnancy test, you dumb twit.

Why is everyone in the Worthverse strip brain dead?

Mrvy said...

I expected Zak to be a tool and question whether or not he wanted to stay with Iris if she couldn't someday produce Zakettes. I did not expect Iris to believe that somehow she was hurting Zak by the mere process of aging. Even with my low expectations for Zak, clearly I've set my bar too high for Iris.

If KM surprises me, and Zak is compassionate and understanding, that will be a lovely Christmas present.

Alice said...

Fourthing fauxprof's comment, but let's be real a second: she was never going to worry about Tommy.

meg said...

fauxprof: You are so right, but... has Iris forgotten about the most important person in this situation? Yeah, that’s right, MARY!

Who’s the crone who won’t cop out, when meddling’s needed all about? (falsetto: MARY!)
Right on.
You see this crone Mary is a bad mother (Shut your mouth )
But I’m talkin’ about Mary (Then we can dig it)
You’re damn right.

(With sincere apologies to the estate of Isaac Hayes)

Anonymous said...

I'm confused. In panel one, Iris suggests that she doesn't believe the stupid quack's diagnosis.

But in panel two, she suggests that she does believe it, and then she irrationally blames herself, as if she had any choice in the matter.

I fear this is all leading up to Iris leaving Zak because she doesn't want to burden the young dynamo with her middle-agedness. (Didn't she do that once before?) And then, of course, she will go back to Wilbur, who will dump Estelle after he begged and pleaded with her to take him back.

If this happens, I will seriously have to wonder if I can continue reading this strip.

-- Scottie McW.

Yahoonski said...

Right on, Scottie McW. I too was amazed how she could go from rejecting the diagnosis of a quack to totally accepting it in the space of two panels. Then again, if you can pile on the pounds that fast, I guess anything's possible.

Nance said...

Today's Boldface Haiku is titled

"Iris Declares War On Her Hormones For Zak".

Menopause? That's?
Hmmph!
Change life!
Do?


Nance said...

Dear Friends--

Thank you all so much for your kind concern and best wishes for my recovery. I am much better, no longer in splints, and can now type for a longer while. Today we'll see if I can drive.

I am so comforted by the idea that you noticed my absence and not only checked on me over at my site, but left warm, encouraging comments there as well.

It means so much to be supported by friends. Thank you.

Shmoopie said...

This will be like Love Story, except that instead of dying, Iris will rapidly slide into cronehood. Zak will stand by her saying, "Love means never having to notice that your pillow is covered in hair every morning."

Scottie McW., PLEASE don't leave no matter what happens to this or any subsequent story line. You, along with so many other commenters on this blog, are one of the many little rays of sunshine that brighten my day :-)

Shmoopie said...

Nance is back - yeah!!!

KitKat said...

Nance, YOU’RE BACK - hip hip hooray! I’m so glad you’re recovering well. Take good care of yourself as you resume regular activities.

Excellent comments by everyone today. Wanders, I love your reference to the Maisie’s Thanksgiving Day Parade - it’s so Worthiverse.

Gaaa, Iris is such a mess. “Oh no, my body going through a natural process is betraying Zak! How can this be happening?! I guess I’ll go back to Wilbur....” We’ve all said it before and no
We have to say it again: KM seems incapable of writing for intelligent, independent female characters. (I suppose she thinks Mary is one of those - oy vey.)

Maybe Zak and Estelle will get together. She’s already gone through menopause, is financially comfortable without BoyToy’s millions, and seems ready for adventure with a new man. If he doesn’t accept Libby, Medical Assistant Jared (was that his name?) may be available.

Little Nell said...

Didn't we already go through the "Iris breaks up with Zak because she thinks she's too old for him" routine a few years back? Iris always seems to be agonizing over their age difference, but at no point since we've met Zak has he shown any sign of thinking that Iris is anything less than the perfect partner for him, and I'm sure a few extra pounds and a discreet wig aren't going to make any difference.

Then again, Zak appears to have both the enthusiasm and the intelligence of a Labrador retriever. He can sit happily chatting away with Wilbur - not exactly the master of subtly polite shade - without any apparent awareness that his name, his dietary and potatory preferences, and his mother's chastity are being subjected to unfavourable comment.

If all of this is leading to Iris dumping Zak AGAIN and getting back with Wilbur AGAIN, I swear I'm going to chug a bottle of cheap whisky and go for a drive off the nearest cliff. That's the only outcome I can think of that would actually be worse (slightly) then Estelle taking Wilbur back on the strength of his pathetic John Cusack impersonation.

TimP said...

Best wishes for a rapid recovery, Nance!

MissScarlet said...

Welcome back Nance. Sorry the story direction is so awful....but then again, it makes for great haiku.

fauxprof said...

Welcome back, Nance, we missed you!

Anonymous said...


Nance, we are all thankful for your return!

Schoopie, thanks so much for the kind words. Don't worry, somehow I'll muster the tolerance to keep reading Moy's dreck!

-- S. McW.

Gina said...

Nance, it's good to have you back! Best wishes as you recover!

r u ok? said...

Welcome back Nance!

Iris should calm herself down with a nice glass of Macallan Purple Drank.

Regina Wolfe-Parks said...

Nance, so glad to have you back. I hope Shovey McShoveson didn't come to your neck of the woods and knock you down!!! We all missed you and your witty BFH!

I am hating Iris so hard right now. For a middle aged woman, she has absolutely no insight on how her body works. She seems to think that her body going through something normal is an affront to Zak. If she had half a brain, she would have told Dr. Dismissive that she wanted a second opinion and that she was going to put a real nasty review about him on on Yell (the Worth version of Yelp.)

I keep wishing for KM to get into the 21st century and I keep getting sadly disappointed. Does she have ANY female friends that she can talk to and see exactly how life works?

lmjb1964 said...

Great comments today. thanks for saying all of the things I was thinking. Is she just going to accept what Dr. Dirk Dismissive says, and then die tragically of an undiagnosed disease? We can only hope.

And yay, Nance is back! So good to see you, and so glad you're on the mend. Hopefully you've seen a more competent doctor than, really, any of the doctors we've seen in the Worthiverse. Granted, that's setting a very low bar.

LouiseF said...

To celebrate Nance's return to BFH mastery, I looked up some haikus for broken bones. This by Judith Ragir, zen priest and teacher:
Broken bones happen
slowing my pace to naught
Life stripped to beauty

Happy healing, Nance!

Ken Kensington's Toupe said...

Welcome back, Nance!